nekokoban: (バカバカバカ)
( Jan. 23rd, 2011 01:11 pm)
QUICK MONTHLY SUMMARY:

* Got a plurk! Promptly forgot Twitter existed. Sorry, y'all. :B I do a lot of microblogging there and am rather enamored.

* Got [livejournal.com profile] bishopped over at [livejournal.com profile] campfuckudie! Have hit my personal limit for RP and feel pretty good about having no other desires for it ever. Yeay.

* Came to a personal revelation about myself (in fact, I am a super-contrary person despite having always thought of myself as a very "whatevs |D" type, in that 9.999 times out of 10, the harder you push something at me, the more I'm just like :\a that's nice :\a APPARENTLY I HAVE TO BE SUBTLY COURTED, and who wants to waste that much time \o/) and came to peace with it. Everything works out in the end.

* An actually fairly accurate representation of myself, since they didn't have any necklaces that actually look like the one I wear.

* I feel like I'm slowly forgetting how to write fanfic. :|a I still want to, a lot, but it all keeps getting done in short bursts and stops, whereas my original fiction is like \:D/ derp derp. I still can't write novels worth anything, but short stories and novella-esque lengths seem to be great for me.

Now I am going to talk about MONEY and STUFF and cutting it because lol. )

After all that tl;dr I have determined I really want to write fusion fandom fic, when I want to write fic, but I'm not sure if I even have a direction after that, except maybe I want to write all the diece things and only two other people on LJ care. :B I'M SORRY EVERYONE WHO EXPECTED BETTER OF THIS JOURNAL, PROBABLY YOU SHOULD ABANDON SHIP NOW.
Actually I wrote this like last month and forgot to post it. It had the double-bonus of letting people at [livejournal.com profile] campfuckudie forget I was a fan of this series and also being weird because this was totally before I decided to app at all. \o/ hrrrrrr.

Absolute Loyalty
Sion (+ Gara and Akikage); volume 5 spoilers
2001 words
What sort of person, then, will your King be?

Absolute Loyalty )
nekokoban: (sold a thousand stories)
( Jan. 1st, 2011 02:58 am)
We rang in 2011 by playing oldschool Sonic the Hedgehog and I had a chicken-and-cheese quesadilla with apple slices. Instead of champagne I had Martinelli's sparkling apple-cranberry cider, and Sammycat was the happiest because both [livejournal.com profile] rinkhals and I were sitting on the couch together and it meant he could drape on BOTH OF US AT THE SAME TIME!

If the superstition about "what you're doing at midnight is what you'll have a lot of for the next year," I think I am all right with that. :)

ACTUAL WRITTEN STUFF )

REFLECTION MEME THINGY )
Lotus
941 words
spoilers for Alma Karma

Lotus )
nekokoban: (ゴロゴロ)
( Dec. 25th, 2010 05:24 pm)
Today I have:

- got up incredibly late for me (noon-thirty or so)

- resisted the urge to go get Chinese food for lunch
- instead made a nice dinner for myself and [livejournal.com profile] rinkhals (roasted rosemary-applesauce chicken, green bean-apple salad, roasted potatoes and turnips, rosemary rolls, dessert from Whole Foods)

- Updated my website with three stories (one fanfic, two original)
- Dicked around with a bunch of icons for rp, but ended up happy enough with some to upload them here

- wrote 1000+ words for my Imaginary Beasts story
- wrote like 200 words for an 07G thingy

- have still totally neglected to go see Tangled :B

Happy merry whatevers and all, guys. ♥
1766 words
D.Gray-man/07-Ghost FUSION crossover; minor implied spoilers for 07G throughout.
I'm kind of sorry for this, guys.

deal with the devil )
nekokoban: (wow wow yeah yeah)
( Dec. 16th, 2010 05:30 pm)
HELLO FRIENDS!

This is an idea I have been kicking around for the better part of a year now, and who knows if it will actually go anywhere because lol life, the universe, and everything, but! I figured I would throw it out and see if there was any interest.

So I am one of the mods over at [livejournal.com profile] campfuckudie, and I know there a lot of you on my flist whom I met over there, so this is not exactly new news. *g* FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T, it is a fairly large (and old-for-the-internet) panfandom RP in a pretty free-form jamjar setting. However, we have two spinoff comms, one for general AUs, and one for Mafia/Cry Wolf styled games; the only issue is that you have to have a current character in CFUD in order to actually participate! HOWEVER.

I have been tossing around the idea for a while now about making a game (holder arena for mini-games?) that would allow folks from all RPs to join. Just for a game, and not for longer than, say, a week (unless it's a Wolf game where the voting is very intense or whatever)--someone puts out a call for players for a Cry Wolf game, for example, and you could sign up with any RP character that you've got in your repoitoire, no matter what game they came from. (I'd probably put the cap on dressing rooms, though, since that would be more than I'd want to deal with right away.) It would mean that yeah, you'd potentially have, like, two or more of the same canon character in a game, but I think that would be kind of the horrible fun of it. :B

The game would be strictly AU to all RPs that the characters came from--it'd be a very much, "I am trusting you to talk to the mods of your games about what you can and cannot bring back," since there would sometimes be IC prizes and IC damage, and of course, free resets to anyone who sustained damage before they go back to their own games. Playing in a mini-game would not preclude playing the character at their normal game, of course, if such a character is your primary or involved in something else at the time.

The setting I have in mine is a carnival (the same one that I ran an event with for CFUD a while ago), which means that other people could get involved in creating a carnival/circus character to run a particular style of game (it wouldn't be like, so I have a Clown and he runs x kind of game and y kind of game and z kind of game--the Clown would run maybe the Cry Wolf games, or the Fortune-Teller would run a kill-or-be-killed game, that sort of thing). There would be no play in the setting when there isn't a game going on, since the Carnival appears and disappears at random and isn't really meant to be a Huge And Deep Mystery to why it exists--it just does, and the Ringmaster is always looking for new recruits to keep for himself.

SO IDK IDK I have no idea if there would even be interest in this, or if it's doable, or even what the basic rules would be, I am just throwing it out there.

And now I am running off to leave work so YAY any questions/concerns/gtfo terra you're crazy may go here.

ETA Further thought before I forget it--

There would be a "day" carnival and a "night" carnival, so part of the game invitations would involve specifying what half you were setting it in; "day" games would be the sort of fun happy fluffy silly whatever games where you make friends and influence people!! or whatever, and the "night" carnival would be death/killing/mental trauma games. :|a The casts would be different for the day and the night games, and two or more circus members could in fact team up to complicate things.

HOORAY.
SO I have realized, through various small aches and pains, that I am not as optimistic or upbeat as my mental image of myself is! Which is fine, because part of that is just a matter of readjusting personal expectations so that they're not unrealistic or crushing what self-worth I do have, but part of it is stuff I can do as part of EFFORT! on my part. Therefore, rather than wait for the new year, when I could second-guess myself or talk myself out of it, I have come up with RESOLUTIONS. I am temporarily putting aside holiday cheer and doing this!

* Get back into the habit of writing daily. Half an hour or at least 1000 words every evening, even when we go out and are social. The only exceptions should be if I am actually sick, or there is some other emergency going on.

* On nights when I have work the next morning, be in bed by 12:30-1. Preferably 12:30 at the latest.

* Keep in touch with people more. THIS IS FOREVER A WORK IN PROGRESS because I am a horrible combination of shy/self-conscious/lazy and get into ruts. BUT I WILL TRY. In that respect, try to get out more and reach out to folks to do things beyond asking [livejournal.com profile] rinkhals about where to grab lunch.

* Be better about keeping the kitchen/bathrooms clean. One day soon I will BLITZ cleaning and then I will do my best to maintain it/make [livejournal.com profile] rinkhals help me with that.

* Save up money for 1) a PS3 2) a food processor

* Relatedly, get my savings goal (a 12-month emergency savings plan) to AT LEAST 33% in the next year. So I want to trim some (but not all :B) of my frivolous spending to shore that up.

* Let things go. Or at least, if I have to be angry and vent, don't let it consume me. I can be pretty bad about this, because I tend to dwell and make myself more upset. I need to start rolling with those punches and not letting them drag me down.

In 2011, I'd like to make serious progress towards two of my writing goals, which for the now will be hush-hush because I am superstitious about talking about ambitious things until they're already solidly in motion.

Hello everyone!! We're starting today!!






In other news I kind of want to wipe all my current icons and MAKE MYSELF A NEW SET, only I load up the page to start deleting them and I'm like "oh, but I like this one :( and this one :( and THIS ONE TOO oh no :("--but I barely even post, so it's really just that I like having different icons every time I comment somewhere. Maybe I will allow myself to keep like fifteen old icons and make everything else new.
Because putting it public makes it real and so I can't wuss out!!

please feel free to skip )
Dear flist:

How do you write porn without wanting to stab yourself in the eyes? Because I sure as hell do not know how. :(

THE THING IS, as a general whole, I do not think I'm a horrible writer! Not a great one either, but I'm not bad, and I can at least reread some of my old stuff and not hate it, and even now and then be pleased with some turn of phrase or this paragraph or that scene. I'm kind of rusty and out of practice right now, but once I get back into it, I mean, I'm very aware that there are people on my flist and in my general circle of personal influence who outrank me a lot in terms of sheer talent, but I don't think that also negates that I can tell a decent story when I have one!

But. But. For some reason, that does not include sex at all. It used to be a matter of embarrassment, and I guess to some degree that does still exist, but it's pretty negligible in the long run; the problem is that when I try, it feels clunky and awkward and not very much how I'd want it to be. And I think part of it is just the writing style I've settled into; I'm much better with gen--or even relationshippy stuff, just not anything physical! (To be fair, I also have this issue with fight scenes, though it's a lot easier for me to youtube awesome fight scenes to get an idea of what I want, or feel less silly when I do something blatantly unrealistic, because hey, these are canons where ridiculous fighting is often the name of the game, but at least in theory everyone I'm writing about is human and has the same basic anatomy and we can't really bend that way, or that doesn't go there, or whatever. Cry.) If I write a long story where there is a sex scene, that is the scene I am always unhappiest with--I honestly can't think of any exception to this rule. Which makes reviewing any of the essential PWPs I've written pretty weird, as I'm pretty much like :V I CAN'T TELL IF THIS IS ANYTHING BUT WEIRD. It's not like I have a problem with sex, or reading/watching material that contains it explicitly, and co-writing or RPing it isn't an issue for me! It's only when I'm by myself! :(

And I think part of the problem is that I read/used to read a handful of western media fandoms, where they are about some pretty hardcore and/or explicit stuff--there is a certain quality to those stories that I can recognize as a reader but can't really qualify--and as a writer, I can't ever seem to tap it. I'm not really big on writer-envy (there are some, both pro and non, who I would love to write more like, but not necessarily emulate their style/write EXACTLy like them), but it's something that I do wish I could manage! Or even articulate properly, since normally when I try, it ends up with a lot of handwaving and making a o____o face instead. I mean, I am more of a fan of sex as being an element for the story and the characters, not just for gratuitous "this is hot" or fanservice, but unless it's meant to be something deliberately off-putting or unpleasant (because the character is, or the situation), why not make it hot? If you can. Which is where the problem lies, for me!

WAT DO.
nekokoban: (SNOWMAN NINJA)
( Nov. 22nd, 2010 04:55 pm)
LONG TIME NO POST!

NaNo has been a failure mostly because I got sick last week and have not really recovered since; I can go to work, but actually being creative and thinking is draining when you're nauseated just looking at the screen for too long. :|a

HOWEVER IT IS SNOWING IN SEATTLE. In the fifteen miles between my office and my home, the tally currently stands at:

* 3 jackknifed buses
* 4 stalled cars
* 3 accidents
* 1 roadblocked ambulance

It also took over an hour to get home and it is snowing again and [livejournal.com profile] rinkhals doesn't have her phone, so I am going to sit and stare morosely out the window in between work-from-home stuff till she is back.

ugh ugh nausea go away, no one likes you
nekokoban: (IM A RITER)
( Oct. 31st, 2010 12:35 pm)
The Fairytales/Mythology issue of Shousetsu Bang*Bang is out!!

And of course, with a theme like that, I absolutely had to participate. *g* EVEN IF IT MEANT WRITING SEX, which those of you who've known me for a long time will know means hilarity and epic amounts of whining.

So far everything I have read here has been amazinggggg and fff I am actually super nervous about what kind of reception mine will have. WHAT IS THIS SUDDEN RETURN TO ANXIETY ABOUT COMMENTS!

Or maybe I'm just embarrassed by my pen name, which I also find hilarious and oh-god-did-I-really haha. :'D
Tags:
As like pretty much everywhere else (including hilariously on sites where I forget I registered, see also my brainfail earlier this week on twitter about Manga Traders), my username for NaNoWriMo stuff is nekokoban. This year, I'd like to actually try and be a little more active about updating my profile's wordcount and stalking keeping up with other people, so other folks who are doing NaNo 2010 should give me their usernames so I can add them. 8Db

I'm still debating on whether or not I want to post what I write yet--the problem, as it is, is that my NaNo is going to be a number of short stories that are loosely connected under the umbrella of a longer story, and I'm not sure how long each story will be just yet. (I never try to ballpark for specific lengths, other than like when I sign up for something and they give us a wordcount minimum, and even then I have no idea whether or not I'll hit it exactly or go over.) As a result, I may have nothing one week and a lot the next, so hrrrrr. WAT DO. (In theory I'd like to actually finish this, and I have higher hopes because they're short stories--one thing I have determined about myself is that while I can write a novel-length story if I really want to and try, I do much better with short stories and/or novella type things. I wonder what self e-publishing is like these days, man.)

Speaking of stories-within-stories, there's a new Sound Horizon Story Album coming out in December; I have no idea how connected it will be to ~Ido e Itaru Mori e Itaru Ido~ but given how it's a prologue album, I suspect we'll get the whole story when the Story Album comes out. (And good thing too, because I have spent today listening to the prologue and I'm not sure how the story fits together yet; I'd thought the witch would be the young girl, but instead it's the mother? ONE OR THE OTHER. However it has Fujita Saki and Hatsune Miku, so it's been fun.)

Other than that, YAH WEEKEND. \m/
nekokoban: (バカバカバカ)
( Oct. 24th, 2010 10:39 pm)
WHAT I SPENT MY WEEKEND DOING.


Well, that's a slight exaggeration, since I also managed to get grocery shopping done, do the laundry AND the dishes, cook from-scratch lasagna, finally buy closed-toe shoes, and still get like ~7.5 hours of sleep a night (I stayed UP really late and slept really late, and boy did that make the cats happy this morning). BUT MOSTLY I DID THIS and nnnnnngh I am just so happy it's done. (Poor [livejournal.com profile] rinkhals has had to deal with me whining whenever something was missed/skipped/gone/I hated everything.)

All of the fic is moved over to a Wordpress account hosted off my server, which (in theory) will make it easier for me to update in the future, as well as allowed me to have a tagging/categorization system. I've split up original fiction versus fanfic, and I have some ~plans~ that may or may not get put into fruition by the end of the year, depending on motivation and the guts to actually do it. There is also a new layout for the site in general, as well as one that has the same colorscheme, but not any fandom-related images, for the original side. Hrrr. :B Originally I'd wanted to use a di(e)ce image, but then the baby dragon was there and I was like OH WHY NOT, HE'S CUTE.

Anyway, blah blah blah, IF THERE ARE BROKEN LINKS, TELL ME AND I WILL GET TO THEM! oh my god guys it's been three years since I updated my website, this is crazyyyyyyyyyyyy. \o_O/
nekokoban: (YAY :D)
»

:D

( Oct. 20th, 2010 06:53 pm)
Mom just told me that Dad quit smoking!!


It's a habit he started in his college years, he's a man in his sixties, and he's been having this worrisome cough for a year or so, and then--!

I'm happy. :D
Tags:
nekokoban: (IM A RITER)
( Oct. 12th, 2010 02:27 pm)
FINISHEDDDddddd oh god I needed the practice. :B I-I apologize for the quality of some of these.

Thank you to everyone who requested. ♥ I hope that these are acceptable, sob. XD
SPOILERS EVERYWHERE OH NO

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

woodburner -- Pandora Hearts vampire AU )

++++++++++

allforchocolate -- di[e]ce, KINGCEST )

+++++++++++

darknightrain -- Vocaloid, Musunde Hiraite )

++++++++++

rivendellrose -- Merlin/Okami, Arther and Merlin and Ammy )

++++++++++

hiza_chan -- Kingdom Hearts, Axel/Roxas + zombie apocalypse )

++++++++++

torsui -- Kingdom Hearts/Okami, Riku in Nippon )

++++++++++

nayami -- Okami, Oki and Shiranui )

++++++++++

7scimitarroll -- Mononoke, tsukumogami )

++++++++++

alexander -- Vocaloid, Synchronicity, Kaito and birds )

++++++++++

anonymous 1 -- 07-Ghost AU, Hakuren and the road to hell )

++++++++++

slipout -- Pandora Hearts, Nightrays and moonlight )

++++++++++

ningen_demonai -- D.Gray-Man, 'you shouldn't have done that' )

++++++++++

levade -- Vocaloid, Synchronicity, the dragon's utahime )

++++++++++

halcyonjazz -- Kingdom Hearts/The Princess And The Frog, Sora and Naveen )

++++++++++

kangawu -- di[e]ce, Naoto and nightmares )

++++++++++

anonymous 2 -- Sherlock Holmes [movieverse], Holmes/Watson )

++++++++++

piecrumbs -- Vocaloid, Hakamairi )

++++++++++

sleepfighter -- Mononoke/xxxHolic(/07-Ghost) )

++++++++++

uminohikari -- original, cannibalistic fairies )
But I am still not so sure about this "wiser" thing. :|a

ETA LJ WHY DO YOU NOT LOVE CAPSLOCK IN YOUR TAGS :(
nekokoban: (CLIMBIN DA WALLZ)
( Oct. 9th, 2010 03:48 pm)
BULLET POIIIINTS

* I have next week off as a birthday present to myself! YEAY.

* This week has been kind of insane with the LATE NIGHT HOSPITAL ADVENTURE (see [livejournal.com profile] rinkhals for details), getting used to Kate now waking up before me (luckily I fall asleep again really fast), work being work, and cats being cats. /spinny finger

* I have fallen very much in love with di[e]ce even though the super-rushed ending after it was announced as cancelled hurts me. :( The worst is that I can see how it would have been an amazing ending, had the series been allowed to come to its proper fruition, but as-is I'm like /)_(\ BAWWWW WHY. It's like Battle Royale meets chess meets your typical josei gay subtext/desperate loyalties/lost friendships. HOW COULD I NOT, I ASK YOU.

* I HAVE A NEW COMPUTER. It's so shiny oh my god I can open more than seven tabs in Firefox and there's no suspicious groaning and lagging and sputtery death. :( I'm still getting used to Windows 7 verses XP, but I'm liking it so far. The worst part ("worst") is that while I transferred all my silly fun timewaster games, I couldn't transfer my scores or unlocked things, so now I have to play everything again. OH NO.

* However, I've also lost the download for Write or Die, s-so I may have to end up paying for it a third time. Bawwwwww. :( NOT THAT I REALLY WORRY THAT MUCH since I get paid next week, but still. Sob. This time, I will save the download files instead of direct-downloading from the website. \o_O/

* Relatedly, I am having a DILEMMA for what to work on for NaNo! Do I go with Pet Project #1 (horror stories/folklore), Pet Project #2 (ridiculous harlequin-y romance novel) or try to finish the one from 2007, which I still love and do want to go back to, someday? :( THIS IS SERIOUS, GUYS, I ONLY HAVE THE REST OF OCTOBER TO DECIDE.

[Poll #1629692]
WHAT IS THIS oh my goodness it's actual fanfic for the first time in ages?!

SOUNDBITE: starts like this
976 words

I don't even know, I just ship the kings :( )
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