nekokoban: (Games you've never believed)
( Apr. 1st, 2011 04:15 pm)
It is the start of a new quarter, the year is a third over, and while I am not beating myself up over failures, I am not extraordinarily happy with here I have flubbed and could have done better and etc etc. THERE ARE THINGS I COULD AND SHOULD DO TO IMPROVE MY LIFE AND MYSELF! So I am going to make this list and hope it works out for me. :|a

But first, things I did accomplish in the past three months:

* I have a regular column now over at Royal Archivist! It is pretty neat to be over there, and I would recommend folks giving things a look-over if/when they can. I will have an actual guidebook thingy coming from them in a couple of months, kyaa kyaa.
* [ profile] lovesexgrave isssssss officially started. :D
* [ profile] bb_shousetsu -- Shadow Stranger [Ladies' Night]
* [ profile] imaginarybeasts -- The Dream's End [Dreams]

I ALSO COMPLETED SPRINGKINK, ugh, I meant to post them to my journal proper last month. I guess it will just have to happen in April, or else not at all. 8|a

But now: goals!

- Seriously try to be in bed by midnight/midnight-thirty during the week. I can definitely tell how letting myself slip to a 1 am bedtime has affected my general mood/creativity/etc. EVEN IF I AM HAVING FUN OR WHATEVER, I really need to start enforcing this. It'll let me get up earlier in the morning too, and be less hateful of the wooooorld by the time I get home from work.

- On the flipside: Get up no later than 10:30 on the weekends. If possible I would like to go for 9:30, but who knows how late I will stay up when I allow myself a late bedtime on Friday/Saturday. :|a

- Be better about frivolous money things. It is super-easy to want to just not cook and go out, but I want to be better about things--I want to stick to the budget I have drawn up, and in this way be more responsible about my spendings and thus feasibly shore up my emergency savings till I hit my goal. If/when I hit that, then I can reevaluate how silly I want to be about stuff. Until then, I should make my emergency savings a priority.

- Start walking home from work. At least on Fridays, when I am less :V BUT MY PRECIOUS FREETIME! and as the weather starts getting nicer. Once it stops raining pretty much every Friday, that would be nice.

- Write daily. I let this slide also more than I should, which is terrible, because writing brings me a lot more joy than prrrrretty much any of my other hobbies, though I am missing having an active fandom that I could and would participate in the ficwriting culture of. Debating some of my older fandoms, because I still love those, but they're either deadish or terrifying to me, so again: hotly debating. I should just go back to randomly posting fic here and maybe someday people will find me and be happy. :B Original and fanfic both, though I haven't decided if I want to do like, a WORDCOUNT GOAL or a TIME SPENT GOAL just yet.

-- wrt the above point, the theme list for [ profile] 500themes. I don't think I will officially sign up, because I am balls at crossposting (as the springkink stuff has proven), but I do want to try doing this. Maybe a theme a day. :|a Current plans are to just go back and forth between D.Gray-Man, di[e]ce, Pandora Hearts, and 07-Ghost for these themes. Idk if I should actually post them, though, because an update a day might get gratuitous when it's every day for over a year. :|a If people have a strong opinion they should yell at me.
nekokoban: (バカバカバカ)
( Jan. 23rd, 2011 01:11 pm)

* Got a plurk! Promptly forgot Twitter existed. Sorry, y'all. :B I do a lot of microblogging there and am rather enamored.

* Got [ profile] bishopped over at [ profile] campfuckudie! Have hit my personal limit for RP and feel pretty good about having no other desires for it ever. Yeay.

* Came to a personal revelation about myself (in fact, I am a super-contrary person despite having always thought of myself as a very "whatevs |D" type, in that 9.999 times out of 10, the harder you push something at me, the more I'm just like :\a that's nice :\a APPARENTLY I HAVE TO BE SUBTLY COURTED, and who wants to waste that much time \o/) and came to peace with it. Everything works out in the end.

* An actually fairly accurate representation of myself, since they didn't have any necklaces that actually look like the one I wear.

* I feel like I'm slowly forgetting how to write fanfic. :|a I still want to, a lot, but it all keeps getting done in short bursts and stops, whereas my original fiction is like \:D/ derp derp. I still can't write novels worth anything, but short stories and novella-esque lengths seem to be great for me.

Now I am going to talk about MONEY and STUFF and cutting it because lol. )

After all that tl;dr I have determined I really want to write fusion fandom fic, when I want to write fic, but I'm not sure if I even have a direction after that, except maybe I want to write all the diece things and only two other people on LJ care. :B I'M SORRY EVERYONE WHO EXPECTED BETTER OF THIS JOURNAL, PROBABLY YOU SHOULD ABANDON SHIP NOW.
nekokoban: (sold a thousand stories)
( Jan. 1st, 2011 02:58 am)
We rang in 2011 by playing oldschool Sonic the Hedgehog and I had a chicken-and-cheese quesadilla with apple slices. Instead of champagne I had Martinelli's sparkling apple-cranberry cider, and Sammycat was the happiest because both [ profile] rinkhals and I were sitting on the couch together and it meant he could drape on BOTH OF US AT THE SAME TIME!

If the superstition about "what you're doing at midnight is what you'll have a lot of for the next year," I think I am all right with that. :)


nekokoban: (ゴロゴロ)
( Dec. 25th, 2010 05:24 pm)
Today I have:

- got up incredibly late for me (noon-thirty or so)

- resisted the urge to go get Chinese food for lunch
- instead made a nice dinner for myself and [ profile] rinkhals (roasted rosemary-applesauce chicken, green bean-apple salad, roasted potatoes and turnips, rosemary rolls, dessert from Whole Foods)

- Updated my website with three stories (one fanfic, two original)
- Dicked around with a bunch of icons for rp, but ended up happy enough with some to upload them here

- wrote 1000+ words for my Imaginary Beasts story
- wrote like 200 words for an 07G thingy

- have still totally neglected to go see Tangled :B

Happy merry whatevers and all, guys. ♥
But I am still not so sure about this "wiser" thing. :|a

nekokoban: (artistic~!)
( Jan. 9th, 2010 10:07 pm)
So, [ profile] rivendellrose took some photos at the Christmas party we had with friends a few weeks ago. I am mostly resharing these because OMG WE MADE ~ART~.

These are not dialup-safe, btw.


Can people tell me where to look to get songs (preferably in English, because that's the only other language I understand to any extent, durhurr) that tell actual outright stories--preferably for the darker/creepier sort; songs that talk about abandoned places where odd things happen and crazy people doing tragic things and "here's this story I once heard" that--isn't folk music*? It must exist somewhere, but I am looking in all the wrong places, possibly!

* As per examples--this is because of stupid singing robots, okay. :( My favorite composer is proooobably mothy/AkuNo-P, who did things like Daughter of Evil/Servant of Evil, where a tyrannical princess is overthrown and her twin brother/servant's reaction, or moonlit bear, where the singer brings home some fruit that isn't quite what it seems, or The Tailoring Shop of Enbizaka where it is a TRAGIC LOVE STORY. ... REALLY.

Or things like Dark Woods Circus, or Human Sacrifice Alice, which I have gone on about before! THINGS LIKE THAT, which have a definite plot and story behind them, but are not necessarily folk-ish in their musical style. Because I love folk music like a lot, I grew up on it where everyone else in my generation seems to have been listening to the halcyon days of rock'n'roll, but I would like more if I could find it. :|a

REC ME. :(
You know, occasionally I realize that sometimes I wish I was--silly enough, or pretentious enough, or teenager enough--to do some of those things that I really want to do, and then talk myself out of. :|a Mostly this involves JOURNAL POSTS THAT ARE ONLY LYRICS!! BECAUSE THEY REALLY HAVE REAL MEANINGS GUYS!! even when a lot of the time it's just because I really like a particular line or whatever. \o_O/ I suppose that's why I have twitter, but there's only so often you can do that, too, before someone decides to take a mallet to your virtual kneecaps.

[UNPOPULAR OPINION] Okay so also a part of me is kind of irritated at the condescending "oh isn't that cute" attitude I sometimes get from my friends for liking singing robots when they're going mad over Lady GaGa. Who I don't listen to, so I cannot judge, but dude, some of the stuff I've heard off nicodouga would rival any of the pro stuff I've heard, too, and I am vaguely :\ over people cooing over how crazy/bizarre/talented/etc their pop stars are, but then are like "oh, you" if mine even get mentioned. Just because the vocals sometimes come from a synthesized program doesn't mean that the whole thing was computer-generated, and gods and fishes know there are real live human covers of robot songs that are more popular in the ratings than the original. I think this is part of why I feel so apathetic to trying to listen to Lady Gaga--I understand she's actually really good, but I'd rather give my love and attention to my "silly" singing robot fandom, which I don't think is always as silly as people act. My irritation, let me punch someone in the face with it, even if it's just myself. [/UNPOPULAR OPINION]*

Though on the musical note, I need to remember to see if there's an mp3 available of the chorus cover of Butter-fly I found last night, because damn, that was a nostalgic kick and a half. DIGIMON, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A SOFT SPOT IN MY HEART FOR YOU!

I didn't get any writing done yesterday, but man, I was so incredibly dead after a ~DAY~ that really, the fact that I managed to make all the phone calls I had to in order to kickstart repairs and fixing things that need it outside of work is an incredible achievment. CFUD people, I will pick up the chorus post tonight. /o\ THOUGH RELATEDLY, after reading this (courtesy of [ profile] ysadrel and is an amazing read even for someone who doesn't know WoW, like yours truly), I really want to just. Do a text-based adventure thing and see how well I can do when I'm making things up on the fly. That's actually how I do a lot of creative things, honestly; I have learned that I cannot handle outlines that well, because then I get bored and I'm like BUT I ALREADY WROTE IT! \o_O/ and want to move on. Sob. XD Part of me just wants to make a journal post that is like, YOU WAKE UP HERE, WHERE DO YOU GO FROM THERE. Like every RP ever, only I'd want to do it with those forums where people are just giving (occasionally ridiculous) input and trying to roll with that. It seems like it'd be fun, but I don't know that people would actually be interested in it. WHY CAN'T I GET THE HANG OF FORUMS! [fistshake]

\o_O/ is still my favoritest emoticon ever.


* PS: the UNPOPULAR OPINION is not actually meant to specifically call out people. The Vocaloid vs Lady Gaga thing is obviously the current example in my life, but it's really just an example of something that keeps happening. \o_O/ It's part of why I am really starting to hate when people say "but you're so cute!" to/about me, because I honestly feel like I'm not being taken seriously, and it drives me up the wall! SO. While I don't mind being silly and off the wall, I'd like to be taken seriously (and the things I like as a reflection of "hey, I like this unironically") as well.
* Sometimes, I really wish I could just post snippets of lyrics to my LJ without feeling ridiculous about it. And granted, I find it irritating, pretentious, or kind of dumb when I see people do it, but there are times where I am like, I really like these lyrics, I feel like repeating them and I am in the office and I cannot sing aloud. I've done it once or twice in my twitter, but I'm still sort of \O_o/ about doing it. IT FEELS SILLY. /o\

* A few weeks ago, there was a post on my flist about how dark and angsty =/= artistic merit. I would agree with this wholeheartedly, and extend that to life as well. Dear people, just because I am normally a cheerful person who just sort of floats and isn't always weighed down by the troubles of the world and my deficient personality, it does not make me stupid or childish. Your angst and drama does not make you a deeper or more worthy person than me. I will punch you in the face; then you will have physical pain to go with your spiritual, THEN WHAT. I've had this problem all my life, honestly--less with people online and more with people I know/interact with in my daily life.

It frustrates me, because sometimes, hey! I have bad days too! And then I wonder if there's a point to that attitude, if maybe it really--but then, no. No. :\ I've grown to a point where I resent the implication that I am somehow dumb because I like a happy ending, or that I will see the glass as half-full. Online, the problem is more about things you write, and the "artistic merit" of fiction itself, which ... okay, I mean, a well-done BAD END or bittersweet ending is totally cool with me. I like some stuff that's bleak! But a lot of times, it just wears me out--it doesn't make me think, it just makes me want to curl up and sleep for a week. SEE ALSO: my reaction to The Dark Knight. On its own merits, I think it was a fantastic movie, but god, it wore me out, and it didn't really make me think, because I was too busy being worn out by the relentness SHIT GOING DOWN. I liked 9 much better, because inexplicable as parts were, as spotty as the dialogue and plot sometimes was, there was hope, and I appreciated that. 9 made me think, actually, though I'd probably need to see it again before I could articulate any of it.

And okay, I have this Thing for horror stories, or endings that are weird and not entirely explained; I like Lovecraft and Poe and King. My greatest enthusiasm is for running horror stories, and not necessarily ones that are hooked on Twists And Plots, but just ... horrible things! Weird things! Monsters in the closet and things going bump in the night and the sinking feeling that the nightmare isn't over, just paused temporarily. I love stuff like that! --but I also want my happy ending, where people get through horror safe and sound, or maybe never encountered it at all. And I suppose my point is that ultimately, I don't think there is more "merit" in a story where the creeping horror drives someone insane and leaves the rest of the party with the sinking sensation that they are next vs a well-done quiet people-being-happy-and-people story. They both have their strengths, and they ping on different things, and let's face it: I feel like gratuitous amounts of ANYTHING (angst, horror, fluff, kitchen sinks) drags down the so-called intelligence level of something. Maybe there is something childlike about just letting oneself be taken into the immersion of a story, but I think the world could stand a little more of that. Sometimes we don't have to be (sometimes I don't want to be) the jaded cynical cool critic--sometimes it's nice to just be the kid who believes in everything, even if it's only forthe space of one story.

* Yesterday I was emailing back and forth with [ profile] inarticulate re: f/f pairings, only we ended up talking about genderswitch fics instead. :|a A LOT OF IT WAS ACTUALLY CONTEXTUAL, looking back on those emails, but what it really boiled down to me was: 1) dude, fandom, please realize that the touching/charged/etc/etc scenes you squee about when your two favorite waiwai prettyboys are together would still be legitimate if one of them were female because man, while I identify as female, that is only one thing of many that defines me; 2) klsdjflaheot why do I not write more gen, why do I fall into the pairing-fic trap more than I want to. :( I sort of go in cycles; sometimes I am all about reading stuff that has porn in it! and other times I'm like that's boring, why is there so much sex in fandom, can I just have a nice long casefic, please. RIGHT NOW I AM ON THE LATTER. But even in long casefic, apparently I like it when there are pairings, so is that really gen? I have no idea. \o_O/

Then we got into a tangent about Subtext and how it exists in fandom, and sob. While I am someone who tends to label on the safe side (I did not touch the huge debate that sparked a few months ago, but while I don't care particularly much as a reader, as a writer I err on the side of caution), it sort of makes me wonder--when do you label something as gen? Or as a pairingfic? If you have two characters that you-as-the-writer (or the reader) ship, and all they're doing is interacting in platonic ways, is that gen? Is it pairing? Pre-slash? Is the important thing authorial intent (which enough english majors have told me only counts for very little) or what the reader sees in it? If people have problems with NO GAY!!1 why are they reading 07-Ghost?

* \o_O/ is my new favorite emoticon.


* --Hi.
nekokoban: (for I will be there by your side)


( Sep. 8th, 2009 02:06 pm)
Man, I am clearly on one of my POST A LOT sprees for the moment. :|a Should I apologize?

What I wanted to do yesterday was write a love letter to my city: because it was raining but not dark, cool but not cold, and Westlake Center was full of people (the crazy sign-picketing Christians, the people who engage them in fights, the kids running around pellmell, everyone else--me) and I'd seen my friends and spent an entire weekend being industrious and also lazy, and finally feeling like I had the time to do all of that. It was really nice. :) --but then I got home and I was tired, so mostly what I did instead was harass my cat and flop around on my couch with the TV on.

And today I am going to talk about something totally different!

And in true me style, this will go on for a bit )
nekokoban: (creative genius)
( Sep. 1st, 2009 09:24 am)
This is a tea morning, I think, once I finish breakfast. +_+ Normally I don't require caffeine in the mornings, but very little sleep Saturday + interrupted sleep Sunday and Monday nights (courtesy of my cat) means I am a bit on the woozy-mumbly side. I can't even get mad at Merlin, because the way he disturbs me is--instead of pawing at my head or sitting on me (though he DOES walk on me and his bony little paws hurt sometimes), whenever I'm lying on my side, he curls up right next to my head and starts purring. Which wakes me up, but he's so cute and fluffy and happy, I can't actually yell at him or push him off for that. 8( I know I've commented a lot on his babyvoice, and how he has a much quieter purr than other cats I know--but he purrs louder when it's just the two of us anyway, and when it's right next to your ear, that is plenty loud.

Sob, but I have been very tired lately--I keep finding myself making the most idiotic mistakes at work (I've gotten back revisions that are like "er, we asked for abc, not xyz" and I'm like #@*&^%%^*#*(!@*&%), and when I was talking to [ profile] enough_space last night, I realized I have not taken a proper holiday-holiday since possibly January. Nearly all--IF NOT ALL--the company-provided days off I have been working overtime, and I took only one day off for moving as opposed to two like I'd originally intended and ahhhhhhhhhhhhh my brain, she is frizzling. I think I need a proper three-day weekend/mental health day, and apparently commuter services aren't running this Monday, SO SCORE. \m/ HOLIDAY! I am not working emergency support that day, I am not working emergency support that day, SOMEONE KICK ME IN THE HEAD IF I TRY TO VOLUNTEER FOR EMERGENCY SUPPORT THAT DAY.

You know, my life is actually a lot more eventful than I sometimes make it sound--every weekend for the past month or so has been filled with DOING STUFF AND SEEING PEOPLE! but I forget to blog about it the day-of, and then afterwards, I am like "... it's not really 'talking about your day' if it was a day two weeks ago." I hang out, I watch movies, I'm replaying Odin Sphere (instead of like the fifty million unstarted games I have waiting for me), MY CAT IS ADORABLE, carry on.

However, after eight years, I have finally gone to the Seattle Aquarium, thanks to an impulse suggestion by [ profile] rivendellrose. IT WAS AWESOME GUYS. (I took a lot of very amateur but very earnest photos, as evidenced by the school of salmon in my last post. IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT HEART-SHAPED! I think I will take it as a sign that I am doing things in the right spirit, at least.) I WANT TO GO AGAIN, if hopefully this time to see the giant octopus when she's not hiding under a rock.

NOW BACK TO WORK. [inserts interesting hook for comments here]

eta: ... I forgot my water bottle. :( WILL I WITHER AWAY FROM DEHYDRATION? STAY TUNED. Or not, I still have my Starbucks cup.
So thanks to [ profile] rivendellrose I have been listening to Heather Dale's "Trial of Lancelot" CD at work and let me tell you, things are about 50000000000x funnier if you've just finished watching the BBC Merlin. (Which I have been! I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT ON MY OWN! THIS IS AMAZING, GUYS! AMAZING!) Though it does sort of remind me of all the parts I didn't really care about for Arthurian legend--I was never a fan of the romance aspect (insert fistshaking joke at [ profile] halcyonjazz here for being FRENCH!!!! and the French being the ones who introduced the whole Arthur-Guinevere-Lancelot triangle thing), and most of the readings we did in school bored me to tears. Because a lot of them tended to be the romances, which--I don't think I have the right mindset to really let myself get immersed in really dense old text like that; I know it was traditional of the time, but that's why, despite my love of mythologies and other religious practices of long ago, I will never be a scholar. I can't hack the text and never felt the overwhelming desire to train myself to it. This may be why a lot of my friends are making wistful I-miss-school noises around me, and I'm like \o/ YEAH WORKING AND READING IN MY FREE TIME. \o/

I think I got sidetracked. :|a

However! I have learned that I have a really difficult time writing for a lot of live-action shows for whatever reason; sometimes it's that I can't hack the settings and enviroment (I have never been roadtripping across the country and Americana is a concept more than a way of life to me, and honestly most of my knowledge of classic rock comes from hanging out with [ profile] zinjadu or [ profile] katmaxwell), or the dialogue, or whatever! Even Supernatural, whose first season still has so much I really love (URBAND LEGENDS GHOST STORIES KYAA KYAA), never really clicked for me. So I wonder why it is that I actually want to write Merlin fic; I blame the fact that it does have this enormous and amazing mythological basis behind it--even if it's anachronistic and hardly historically accurate and I really have no knowledge of Britishims either \o/ it has that kind of actual history connected to it. IDK, I'm still puttering at that Hetalia/Merlin crossover. And reading a ton of fic; given the time my attention wanders at work I think I have made a pretty damn good effort to read everything that mildly interests me in the fandom. THIS IS BAD NEWS, GUYS! IT MEANS I GET BORED AND THEN I WHINE A LOT BEFORE WRITING STUFF MYSELF. And if I do that people should point me to--resources that I can read up for research, because at least I can be anachronistically correct, if historically incorrect. :(

In other news, man, I feel like I should use my DW more, especially since there are a handful of people I am very fond of who've rather permanently moved there, but. I almost feel like I should do something different with it--less of important all my stuff from my LJ to my DW (though I suppose I could :|a), but it's like buying a shiny new notebook at the store--you want to put NEW stuff in it! cool stuff! fancy stuff! but there's only so much content in my head and also remembering to USE it. My life is a series of mildly-humorous or -irritating events loosely connected by good moods and occasional emo, so there's not really much to talk about, there. Ahhhhhh. /o\


My cat is so cute, guys. SO CUTE. I should take more pictures of him and force them upon the internet.
nekokoban: (:'()
( Jun. 30th, 2009 10:32 am)
ETA: Okay, so uh. Never mind, with all the inanity I do have other things I want to say.

And that's mostly--guys, seriously. If you have a problem with me, please come and tell me directly. You can tell me anonymously--I have critposts up for my characters at CFUD--you can email me (nekokoban at gmail) or PM me when I'm on IRC, whatever. I may be hurt and upset at first, but I will listen. I am more uncomfortable with the idea that I am making other people unhappy and uncomfortable, frankly, and I would much rather be told so I can make corrective steps rather than just ... let things fester. That never has helped anyone, as far as I know.

I'm not saying I don't have problems with people! I'm only human, and I get irritated/upset/angry about things, sometimes irrationally! But I also try to speak up and tell the person I'm having problems with. Sometimes it takes me a bit to get my courage up, because I'm a horribly non-confrontational person, but I still will say something. And I really hope people would do the same for me.

My two cents--back to fluff and blather. [/ETA]

ETA2: Dear program that is necessary for my day job! PLEASE STOP NEEDING TO BE RESET AFTER EVERY SINGLE TASK. :E It's a good thing I've already made my number goals for this month, s'all I'm saying. SOB. [/ETA2]


Okay it's mostly that I have been trying to transition back to a 9-5:30 schedule, because--as much as I like being done at 4:30, I don't usually get home till anywhere from like 5:45-6 anyway, and I hate waking up before 7 if I can utterly avoid it. Since my manager is understanding, our schedules are usually flexible, so I am testing out this new schedule for the week! SO FAR, two days in, it feels pretty good--though I know I will probably grow more dissatisfied as traffic levels return to post-holiday madness and also in the winter, when it gets dark at 4. :|a Plus my chiropractor appointments are at 5:30 so at least sometimes I will have to come in early so I can leave early. Earlier. Either way. I think this will help with my energy levels overall, though, which in turn will hopefully help with everything else I have been tired or blah about lately. Baby proactive steps, yay! \o/

(On the downside, yesterday I also had my first migraine in months and that was terrible. ;o; I don't get them very often, but boy do I hate everything when I do. :x)

Further on the plus side, [ profile] katmaxwell is magical and amazing and got my wireless working in my apartment finally. \m/ I can bring my computer into the kitchen and look stuff up without tripping over cords now! ;^;b I still mostly spend my time in the living room with the magical noisebox, but now I have options and that is nice. This icon is mostly for her. :|b I also ended up rewatching the first two episodes of Supernatural over the weekend, which reminds me how much I really did like the show--and it isn't that I dislike it now, but the show as it is now has lost a lot of what originally drew me to it. (And I mean, I enjoy religious fiction, so the show as it is now still has a story that is very appealing to me, but it is no longer really DRR DRR THIS SHOW WAS MADE FOR ME like it was when they were hunting boogeymen and poltergeists and so forth.) As a result, I am looking for fic again. It's kind of nice. /o/

I am incredibly looking forward to Friday off. I am probably going to pick up at least some extra hours at work, but it's holiday overtime and therefore things will be kind of comfortably slow and no commute. I think I will treat myself to a tasty dinner of some sort. DOES ANYONE IN SEATTLE WANT TO GO WITH ME. Especially you people who have not seen my new apartment yet--it's not exactly all unpacked, BUT MY LIVING ROOM IS PRESENTABLE FOR HUMAN COMPANY! Yeah. \m/

Cravings for a Starbucks Lemonade Tea and braindeath from anticipating vacation aside (there is work to do, but I am so scatterbrained that I am amazed I have any semblance of coherency), life is pretty good. :|a Things are going well, and they will hopefully get better in time.
nekokoban: (#iranelection)
( Jun. 21st, 2009 09:43 am)
HOLY CRAP THIS WEEK HAS BEEN CRAZY. I-I don't think I've been this busy in a long time. XD

* I have been mostly following Andrew Sullivan's liveblogging and other links during the downtimes at work this week. It's really hard to actually be eloquent or even have proper words for a lot of this--I'm not even a religious person, but I hope to any god or higher power listening that this will make a positive change, and that all those people who've been injured or died in the struggle for fair representation will not be in vain.


* MONDAY: I met [ profile] miss_arel and we watched Bizarre Foods on DVD. I am ridiculously addicted to this show, to the point that even when it's a rerun I've seen three or four times already, I have to watch it again when it comes on. :( I need to put the rest of the DVDs on my to-buy list, since I already own the first one, I SHOULD GET THE OTHERS! (Especially if the Wiki is right and they're changing it to "Bizarre World" instead and expanding to cultures as well--IT IS NOT THAT I WON'T WATCH IT STILL, especially if the host is the same, but I think food is a really cool insight into lots of cultures in the first place, so!) I need to start putting boxes away so I can start having more people over and show off my new place. :|a

* TUESDAY: I met with my cousin! This is the same cousin who came by last year, as a short stop on her way to a mission trip in Peru. It was really interesting, because--she's something like six or seven years older than me, and we have very few actual similar interests, but ... she's family. We talked about how it was weird, because our family (the different branches) have never been super-close or given to big gatherings or celebrations; the last time we really had multiple branches of the family in on place was ... our grandmother's funeral, ha ha ha orz. Still, there was something cool about mentioning our other cousin in Portland and not having to SAY he's my cousin--or hearing that her sisters might be visiting at some point, and just ... it was interesting! We are going to try and get together again, and I'm hoping it will be a semi-regular thing, because it is nice, having her around.

* WEDNESDAY: I did nothing! \m/

* THURSDAY: [ profile] vulchu, [ profile] katmaxwell, [ profile] faoiltiamatani, and I went to Tutta Bella Pizza. The food was amazing, the company was a blast (exploding drink glasses and all!) and it was just nice to see people. I should keep that up, especially since I am living alone. :|a

* FRIDAY: I went to see RENT with a bunch of folks. There were a few technical issues with the music (they were playing too slow at parts and the actors were forced co compensate with the song), but it was still amazing. \o/ We were lucky enough to get a performance that actually had Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal as Mark and Roger (and music technicalities or whatever aside, it was really, really cool to see them live on stage and how well they work together), we had terrific seats, and man do I love living downtown. :D The theater was like three blocks from my apartment, so afterwards I could just walk home.

* SATURDAY: I went to the wedding [ profile] nightsinger and [ profile] darthparadox. \o/ It was a lovely ceremony and they were adorable. I should harass more of the people there to do stuff outside of work, because THEY ARE COOL PEOPLE, I am just kind of fail at being social a lot of times. (This week notwithstanding; this week was kind of a fluke in a major way.)

* ♥♥♥♥?!?!???? .o.

* How's my driving. o/

* TODAY: My plans consist mostly of doing my groceries, doing my laundry, and using today to decompress. TOMORROW, I GO TO THE CHIROPRACTOR. YAY.

* ETA: I think I just saw the real-life inspiration for Dug while I was walking back from the farmer's market. Owner said his name was Samson, but kept calling him "Pumpkin" instead. I got a phone picture. \o/
I have almost perfected [ profile] katharon's keyboard smash!11

Sob, tonight is COUNTDOWN, and of course now I'm borrowing trouble for myself, worrying that things won't be finished in time, that I'll regret moving on my own, a thousand and one things that COULD GO WRONG! between now and tomorrow, when I will theoretically be unpacking. (I say theoretically because given my energy levels + how much sleep I don't plan on getting tonight, I could very well just be passed out. We'll have to see!) I am anxious and a little excited, and a lot AHHHHHH what is this AHHHHH about everything. Sob, I've gotten to the panic point of "do I have enough boxes? I don't have enough boxes! what am I doing, how am I going to transport myself tomorrow since I don't have a car do I have to call a taxi AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsob"

I almost wish I'd taken Monday off too, but I can't afford to do that right now. A-at least there WILL be a holiday coming up, and maybe if I'm lucky my computer will work with my new internet and I could take a couple of working-from-home days. That'd be kind of nice; I'd like to get used to my new living space. Really I'm just antsy now; everything is nearly done, and I have gotten to the point that I want it completely done. And I've hit the late-afternoon lethargy, where it is a chore to keep my eyes open and my typing coherent. :x Since the internet won't be set up in my new place until Sunday, I really plan on catching up on sleep this weekend, sob. And if I miss people I will-- go find a cafe or something with my laptop and be like GUYS GUYS LOVE ME I MISS YOU.

Nnngh, the gorgeous day actually isn't helping, because when I went out during lunch, I just wanted to curl up and nap. There is a distinct trend in my thoughts these days, which seem to follow the pattern of PACK-PANIC-SLEEPY-BAWWWW because I feel like I am missing cool stuff and while I think I will be happy once I move and have everything settled and can restart my schedule, I ... really hate the upheaval between the calm periods. My mom once accused me of only ever taking the easy way out of things--which I don't think is entirely true. I prefer easy smooth transitions and if there's going to be excitement I'd like to at least be rested for it, heh.

Still, all things aside, I think this could be entirely much worse. I'm going to allow myself to be okay with this--though I will be more okay when I've moved and everything is settled. And I'll be going into radio silence till the internet's set up at my new apartment, which will hopefully be sooner than later; I'm a little excited to actually get cable TV again. :|a (Hilariously, I think I've been updating this journal more now while I panic about offline stuff. IRONYYYYYY.)

--oh right, I need to work on [ profile] springkink, too. Maybe a break will be a good thing. :|a

I'll see you guys soon. ♥
nekokoban: (sunflowers)
( May. 22nd, 2009 03:52 pm)
The weather has turned truly gorgeous this week--last weekend was lovely, Monday and Tuesday were atrocious but had lightning and thunder (which Seattle nearly never gets!) and then it slowly became beautiful again. Just in time for a three-day weekend, and man, I am not looking forward to the traffic on the commute home. On the plus side, since it is Friday, I feel less of the pressing "get me home now so I don't waste precious daylight" that I do--every other day of the week. Which is hilarious because of the five or six people in my office who know I'm moving, all of them have asked if I'm moving closer to the office. I'm not; I'm moving further away! But I have ascertained I want to stay in the downtown area if I can, because the neighborhood is lovely, the reviews were good, and every time I've been by (first to preview and then to walkthrough; I'll be there again tomorrow) I have just been so happy looking at it. It will be mine. :(

RP navel-gazing )

I have also determined that--while I don't really like clothes shopping, or purchasing makeup, or shoes, or anything that I would wear, I really, really like domestic shopping. I like going to Target and IKEA and poking through furniture and stuff for the bathroom and kitchen supplies. I need new dishes when I move and I kept going :D at some of the sets I saw yesterday, while shopping. What am I becoming. Other than slowly poor, sob.


So for a while at work (on top of the Photoshop problem sob) I've had this thing where--I can edit flash files, and I know the coding is right and I can save them and everything! ... but publishing them, going from .fla to a web-publishable .swf file just doesn't work out. If there's an animation, it flashes in a blurring mad headache-inducing jumble of images; if there are buttons, they have their mouseovers, but clicking them doesn't do anything. I've had to ask coworkers to publish the files I've edited because nothing happens. :\ Helpdesk uninstalled and reinstalled CS3 for me this morning, and the problem persists. I know it's not a browser issue either, because when Coworker I publishes the site and ups it somewhere and I click, tah-dah! The buttons work! SUCH A CONCEPT. 8(

I am also playing Persona 4 and already like it leaps and bounds and miles better than P3. I ADMIT, I was wary, because my flist had exploded with people loving P3 when it came out and I was ... pretty unimpressed; things began feeling pretty monotonous and the dating sim part of it just kind of irritated me. I ended up not actually finishing, especially since Roommate beat the game and I just watched. |D But with P4 I feel a lot more drawn into the story--I think the murder mystery resonates with me more than P3's exsisential (I spelled that wrong, didn't I) WHERE DID THE SHADOWS COME FROM WHY IS THE DARK HOUR HEEEEERE--mostly because relevations felt too slow-paced and unimpressive when they came. I also like the cast better. Kanji, I will rescue youuuuuuuuuuuu. ;o; I don't really do gameblogs, mostly because I would forget and really, when I play video games, I ... narrate. "AHHH RUN AWAY I DON'T HAVE ANY SP!" or the way I shrieked when I saw the optional boss in the castle. 8(

And last night, I wrote something. It wasn't as good as I would've liked it to be, but--I'm allowing myself to be mediocre for now. It's been a long time and it's like a cramped, half-atrophied muscle that is uncurling. It's kind of nice. \o/

Like everyone else, too, I am considering Dreamwidth. What really pings me, honestly, is the fact that I could theoretically read flists for my other journals; that is magical to me.

Okay so! What I had been doing forrrrr ... a few months now, was skipping lunch so I could leave work early. It was nice! I liked it! But I finally got called on it, so after today, I have to go back to actually taking my lunch. Which is sad because I can eat in fifteen minutes and be done. Sigh. This has given me cause to start looking at my schedule again, and try to faff around with what I can do with it.

Numbersssssss )
nekokoban: (悪ノ娘)
( Jan. 30th, 2009 12:24 pm)
1. I did an update earlier for a "Noah Allen." I cried laughing a little.

2. Apparently my keycard is not in my wallet! But. How did I get into the office this morning. I-I can't remember. This is possibly bad.

3. FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY this has been the strangest week: every day I find myself staring at the clock going nnnnnngh why is it still only 11/12/1, but. Somehow it's already Friday?! So the days individually are going very slowly but the week is going fast.

4. I-I need to stop listening to Human Sacrifice Alice so much, it's playing in my head as I walk places. Sob. It's just such a nice song, though. :(

5. My friends are crazy and I love them. Even when I can only follow their emails about half the time.

6. Part of me wants to write and part of me is still so wrapped up in planning/mapping things out for the kill-game that I'm exhausted it's a good exhausted! I LOVE THIS but sob it's kind of epic and how did that happennnnnnn. But I want to write something cute and fluffy and easy that appeals to the side of my soul that is not blackened shriveled brimstone, but rather a very round and overly-fluffy pomeranian puppy sleeping in a pile of pillows. Possibly with a ribbon around its neck.

... The metaphor made sense in my head.

It's probably also a sign that I should eat lunch. Yay, gnocchi. \o/
nekokoban: (lalalala)
( Jan. 27th, 2009 10:44 am)

I was going to do a post, I think, talking about travel--I don't do it very much, and honestly, I don't think it counts, because it's basically flying back to Texas to see my parents. The interesting thing for me, though, is that every time I go back to Austin, I am more and more certain that I don't want to live there; it doesn't really feel like "my" city. After fifteen-plus years, I still don't really know the streets and the neighborhoods and the directions except the MOST famous, and Austin is a city where you have to drive--public transportation is pretty damn laughable. Whereas in Seattle, I know where places are, I know where streets are, and I can navigate comfortably in this gray wet windy pacific northwest place.

But. I don't actually mind leaving Seattle--and coming back isn't very exciting. There's always this little part of me that perks up when we land at the airport in Austin, and part of me that deflates when I have to leave. I blame it on my parents--because I know they'll be waiting when I arrive, and they stand and wave at me until I've gone through the security checkpoint when I leave. I talked to Mom a bit about whether they'd move, and for her, Austin is her city. She likes it there, hot summer weather and allergies and everything aside. They've talked sometimes about moving back to Korea, or moving closer to me, but after last week, I'm not sure. Mom says she'd like it if I could inherit their house, which I have mixed feelings about--because it is the house I grew up in, and I love it, but it's in Austin and it's that horrible sinking feeling of knowing your parents won't be there forever. There is going to be a point where I will go back to Austin and they won't be there and I will cry in public even though I hate it. W-wry.

Then I got sidetracked! Life rolls on--I'm back at work again for the first time in nearly two weeks (in a display of the worst timing ever, I got miserably sick for a week, and THEN I went to visit my parents for a week o lulz) and it is madly busy. Some people even noticed I was gone and expressed concern and relief that I was not, in fact, dead. :|b I am also running my first game of CFUW ever, and it's the whole IC CARRYOVER KILL GAME and ahhhhhhhhhh I'm so paranoid. XD IT IS A LOT OF FUN BUT I kind of wish I could've gotten some practice in first, but oh well. Dive in headfirst to the deep end, me! You can do it! Or die trying!

On that note, I thought about doing the "I always wanted to say ..." meme, but I figured I'd do the super-lazy version and leave it in my journal.


Technically IP logging is on but I'm bad with tracking that sort of thing.

A-and if people in CFUD can tell me whether I am overdoing it with wolf or if they're enjoying it or if there's anything I can improve, please please do. ;o;


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