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this post brought to you by the fact that I'm actually writing fanfic again
Dear flist:
How do you write porn without wanting to stab yourself in the eyes? Because I sure as hell do not know how. :(
THE THING IS, as a general whole, I do not think I'm a horrible writer! Not a great one either, but I'm not bad, and I can at least reread some of my old stuff and not hate it, and even now and then be pleased with some turn of phrase or this paragraph or that scene. I'm kind of rusty and out of practice right now, but once I get back into it, I mean, I'm very aware that there are people on my flist and in my general circle of personal influence who outrank me a lot in terms of sheer talent, but I don't think that also negates that I can tell a decent story when I have one!
But. But. For some reason, that does not include sex at all. It used to be a matter of embarrassment, and I guess to some degree that does still exist, but it's pretty negligible in the long run; the problem is that when I try, it feels clunky and awkward and not very much how I'd want it to be. And I think part of it is just the writing style I've settled into; I'm much better with gen--or even relationshippy stuff, just not anything physical! (To be fair, I also have this issue with fight scenes, though it's a lot easier for me to youtube awesome fight scenes to get an idea of what I want, or feel less silly when I do something blatantly unrealistic, because hey, these are canons where ridiculous fighting is often the name of the game, but at least in theory everyone I'm writing about is human and has the same basic anatomy and we can't really bend that way, or that doesn't go there, or whatever. Cry.) If I write a long story where there is a sex scene, that is the scene I am always unhappiest with--I honestly can't think of any exception to this rule. Which makes reviewing any of the essential PWPs I've written pretty weird, as I'm pretty much like :V I CAN'T TELL IF THIS IS ANYTHING BUT WEIRD. It's not like I have a problem with sex, or reading/watching material that contains it explicitly, and co-writing or RPing it isn't an issue for me! It's only when I'm by myself! :(
And I think part of the problem is that I read/used to read a handful of western media fandoms, where they are about some pretty hardcore and/or explicit stuff--there is a certain quality to those stories that I can recognize as a reader but can't really qualify--and as a writer, I can't ever seem to tap it. I'm not really big on writer-envy (there are some, both pro and non, who I would love to write more like, but not necessarily emulate their style/write EXACTLy like them), but it's something that I do wish I could manage! Or even articulate properly, since normally when I try, it ends up with a lot of handwaving and making a o____o face instead. I mean, I am more of a fan of sex as being an element for the story and the characters, not just for gratuitous "this is hot" or fanservice, but unless it's meant to be something deliberately off-putting or unpleasant (because the character is, or the situation), why not make it hot? If you can. Which is where the problem lies, for me!
WAT DO.
How do you write porn without wanting to stab yourself in the eyes? Because I sure as hell do not know how. :(
THE THING IS, as a general whole, I do not think I'm a horrible writer! Not a great one either, but I'm not bad, and I can at least reread some of my old stuff and not hate it, and even now and then be pleased with some turn of phrase or this paragraph or that scene. I'm kind of rusty and out of practice right now, but once I get back into it, I mean, I'm very aware that there are people on my flist and in my general circle of personal influence who outrank me a lot in terms of sheer talent, but I don't think that also negates that I can tell a decent story when I have one!
But. But. For some reason, that does not include sex at all. It used to be a matter of embarrassment, and I guess to some degree that does still exist, but it's pretty negligible in the long run; the problem is that when I try, it feels clunky and awkward and not very much how I'd want it to be. And I think part of it is just the writing style I've settled into; I'm much better with gen--or even relationshippy stuff, just not anything physical! (To be fair, I also have this issue with fight scenes, though it's a lot easier for me to youtube awesome fight scenes to get an idea of what I want, or feel less silly when I do something blatantly unrealistic, because hey, these are canons where ridiculous fighting is often the name of the game, but at least in theory everyone I'm writing about is human and has the same basic anatomy and we can't really bend that way, or that doesn't go there, or whatever. Cry.) If I write a long story where there is a sex scene, that is the scene I am always unhappiest with--I honestly can't think of any exception to this rule. Which makes reviewing any of the essential PWPs I've written pretty weird, as I'm pretty much like :V I CAN'T TELL IF THIS IS ANYTHING BUT WEIRD. It's not like I have a problem with sex, or reading/watching material that contains it explicitly, and co-writing or RPing it isn't an issue for me! It's only when I'm by myself! :(
And I think part of the problem is that I read/used to read a handful of western media fandoms, where they are about some pretty hardcore and/or explicit stuff--there is a certain quality to those stories that I can recognize as a reader but can't really qualify--and as a writer, I can't ever seem to tap it. I'm not really big on writer-envy (there are some, both pro and non, who I would love to write more like, but not necessarily emulate their style/write EXACTLy like them), but it's something that I do wish I could manage! Or even articulate properly, since normally when I try, it ends up with a lot of handwaving and making a o____o face instead. I mean, I am more of a fan of sex as being an element for the story and the characters, not just for gratuitous "this is hot" or fanservice, but unless it's meant to be something deliberately off-putting or unpleasant (because the character is, or the situation), why not make it hot? If you can. Which is where the problem lies, for me!
WAT DO.
no subject
Super helpful, i know. But having an idea of what i want the sex to accomplish or feel like or contain (besides sex in the most general sense) before i go into it really helps. Real people have sex for all sorts of reasons, including 'we felt like it', but sex in the context of a story usually has greater motivation than 'some sets of genitals attached to people attracted to each were in a room together'. And it really is more like choreography, or playing checkers with yourself, or something like that, where you have to set up all aspects of the interaction by yourself so that the audience sees the right thing. The focus in RPing sex is usually on conveying your/your character's meaning to the other player/character and then building on a series of interactions while essentially ignoring the greater audience.
Writing porn is also kind of revealing, in that an author will generally focus on what they find compelling about the scenario and/or what they focus on in their own sexual experiences. (unless it's giftfic, in which case the focus is more on what the recipient finds compelling.) Maybe that's what you need to do, at least until you get more comfortable about it? The reason I find other porn hot or not is because the author's focus follows what i would focus on.
Or at least these are my observations. I am not the most prolific of ficwriters by any means.
no subject
I do think it's good advice, though, so. MAYBE I WILL MAKE PROGRESS WITH THIS STORY TONIGHT AFTER ALL! Or maybe I'll just play Disgaea PSP for the whole evening as distraction/excuse. >_>a BUT I WILL TRY.