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* Sob, I think it's official that I have to start taking the earlier bus in the morning. During the summer, when I first started my 8:30-5 schedule, the buses ran pretty much on time: I could catch the 22, and if not, the 56 would be along about ten minutes later. Only, pretty much since the September shakeup, the bus has been coming consistently twenty minutes later, which is ... the difference between me being early/on-time and being late. I HAVE PERSISTED FOR ABOUT A MONTH, hoping against hope--! But no. I have admitted defeat. :( N-now I just need to figure out what my new wakeup time is, to accomodate this. Sob!
* Writing mojo continues to putter at middling-low, and this frustrates me. :( I really, really, really want to, but it's ... somehow not happening, and what I do write feels kind of flat and blech and not anything I'd be remotely satisfied with. IT SUCKS BECAUSE I WANT TO DO THOSE MATHOMS AND THE SONG PROMPTS AND MY OWN LACK OF AWESOME IS HOLDING ME BACK. 8( P-please bear with me, I may try start trying writing exercises and subject this livejournal to them. Stay tuned! Sob my writing mojo, sob.
* Some people know what this about; others do not. That's okay! The point is -- one of the things I think I have gotten better at, over the years, is having more confidence in myself. I can coast a lot better over unpleasant things than I did even just a year ago -- I think working/being completely independant from my parents (phonecalls and Mom spontaneously buying me cookware aside) helped with that. I don't have many real-life worries: I like my job, I am debt-free and can pay my bills and still have money to do fun stuff, I have a good strong circle of friends I see on a regular basis just for hanging out or doing stuff, I am healthy and I love the city I live in. My life is good.
But there ... are some things I still have a lot of problems with! I do not have as thick of a skin as I sometimes think I do, or say I do. Like probably over half the people out there reading this, I was pretty outcast/teased/otherwise shunned as a kid; I was the target of playground bullies and the "mean girls" and what-have-you. I've been lucky, though, because I've always had an awesome support group of friends, but -- I still sometimes take things to heart much more than I should, or let stuff bother me longer than I should. I am very good at objectively understanding when I shouldn't let something get to me, but very bad at ... doing that. XD
WHAT THIS BOILS DOWN TO: I am a ridiculously available person; the computer is my hobby when I'm at home, and at work I also (obviously) have fairly free internet access. I am flakey and forgetful -- and I have issues with bothering/annoying people, which is why I very rarely will initiate online contact, unless I am super-super-SUPER comfortable with you (and there's like ... maybe four people that way, total -- we're not counting any of the Seattle or Austin people, here). But. I am here if people need/want to talk to me -- if you have a problem with me or what I am doing, please tell me. I have never made a secret of my email address, my regular journal, or anything else. I'm never on AIM any more (mostly because I have a hard time juggling it on top of all the multitasking I do, sob ;o;), but I. I try to be frank and forward and say if something is bothering me -- it might take me a bit to work myself up to it, but I do. And I'd like it if others could do the same to me. I-it might not be something that CAN be compromised! But at least I can be aware of it and try to curb it for your comfort around you. :|b
I'm not sure how many times I CAN say it, but I have, and that helps me feel better. Also, the amazing awesome people who have put up with my amazing neurosis over the weeks/months/years, I will never be able to be grateful enough for you guys. >:
* Olive oil and rosemary bread is one of the food of the GODS. And makes a really awesome base for pizzatoast.
* This is my new favorite lunchtime reading. I am so trying stuff from there in the future.
* I have watched all of Tengen Toppa Guren Lagann as of Sunday. (I know, I know, late, but I am terrible at keeping up with any sort of weekly thing; that's why I buy volumes of manga, rather than keep up with chapter releases unless I'm reminded.) I have heard critiques of it, from people whose opinions I respect and normally agree with it, but -- for me, wow, that was a pretty amazing ride. XD It was so incredibly, unashamedly over the top, I couldn't help but love it a lot. There are times when I am ridiculously easy. |D
* Other than the issue(s?) mentioned above, I am pretty damn fantastic. And I hope everyone else is, too. \o/
* Writing mojo continues to putter at middling-low, and this frustrates me. :( I really, really, really want to, but it's ... somehow not happening, and what I do write feels kind of flat and blech and not anything I'd be remotely satisfied with. IT SUCKS BECAUSE I WANT TO DO THOSE MATHOMS AND THE SONG PROMPTS AND MY OWN LACK OF AWESOME IS HOLDING ME BACK. 8( P-please bear with me, I may try start trying writing exercises and subject this livejournal to them. Stay tuned! Sob my writing mojo, sob.
* Some people know what this about; others do not. That's okay! The point is -- one of the things I think I have gotten better at, over the years, is having more confidence in myself. I can coast a lot better over unpleasant things than I did even just a year ago -- I think working/being completely independant from my parents (phonecalls and Mom spontaneously buying me cookware aside) helped with that. I don't have many real-life worries: I like my job, I am debt-free and can pay my bills and still have money to do fun stuff, I have a good strong circle of friends I see on a regular basis just for hanging out or doing stuff, I am healthy and I love the city I live in. My life is good.
But there ... are some things I still have a lot of problems with! I do not have as thick of a skin as I sometimes think I do, or say I do. Like probably over half the people out there reading this, I was pretty outcast/teased/otherwise shunned as a kid; I was the target of playground bullies and the "mean girls" and what-have-you. I've been lucky, though, because I've always had an awesome support group of friends, but -- I still sometimes take things to heart much more than I should, or let stuff bother me longer than I should. I am very good at objectively understanding when I shouldn't let something get to me, but very bad at ... doing that. XD
WHAT THIS BOILS DOWN TO: I am a ridiculously available person; the computer is my hobby when I'm at home, and at work I also (obviously) have fairly free internet access. I am flakey and forgetful -- and I have issues with bothering/annoying people, which is why I very rarely will initiate online contact, unless I am super-super-SUPER comfortable with you (and there's like ... maybe four people that way, total -- we're not counting any of the Seattle or Austin people, here). But. I am here if people need/want to talk to me -- if you have a problem with me or what I am doing, please tell me. I have never made a secret of my email address, my regular journal, or anything else. I'm never on AIM any more (mostly because I have a hard time juggling it on top of all the multitasking I do, sob ;o;), but I. I try to be frank and forward and say if something is bothering me -- it might take me a bit to work myself up to it, but I do. And I'd like it if others could do the same to me. I-it might not be something that CAN be compromised! But at least I can be aware of it and try to curb it for your comfort around you. :|b
I'm not sure how many times I CAN say it, but I have, and that helps me feel better. Also, the amazing awesome people who have put up with my amazing neurosis over the weeks/months/years, I will never be able to be grateful enough for you guys. >:
* Olive oil and rosemary bread is one of the food of the GODS. And makes a really awesome base for pizzatoast.
* This is my new favorite lunchtime reading. I am so trying stuff from there in the future.
* I have watched all of Tengen Toppa Guren Lagann as of Sunday. (I know, I know, late, but I am terrible at keeping up with any sort of weekly thing; that's why I buy volumes of manga, rather than keep up with chapter releases unless I'm reminded.) I have heard critiques of it, from people whose opinions I respect and normally agree with it, but -- for me, wow, that was a pretty amazing ride. XD It was so incredibly, unashamedly over the top, I couldn't help but love it a lot. There are times when I am ridiculously easy. |D
* Other than the issue(s?) mentioned above, I am pretty damn fantastic. And I hope everyone else is, too. \o/
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