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Last verse, no different from the first? Or the second, really.
HOLLOW MEN V
Kingdom Hearts 2 -- Organization XIII (+ Naminé); game spoilers/speculation. Some Roxas/Axel.
... these are so loosely, loosely loosely connected. A bunch of short omg pretentious pieces based on lines from T.S. Eliot's "Hollow Men." I jump all over the damned place, hah.
+++++
V: this is the way the world ends
+++
Under the trees children are singing, standing in a slow-moving circle with their hands clasped. They have high strange voices that blend in unpracticed harmony.
The witch is a tiny pale shadow among shadows, watching them with wide eyes and holds onto her elbows even though the afternoon is warm. She does not look at Lexaeus when he approaches, but the other children scatter before him. Some are laughing as they run.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall--
"Come," he says, and the witch gives him her hand.
+++
This is inbetween land -- this is not no man's land or someone's land, even though Dusks swim their way out of the ether and pathways both light and dark can be opened here. Even Sora and his two buddies aren't quite real when they're here.
Axel can relate.
He thinks maybe about coughing and seeing if he can come up with blood, but the kid already looks pretty damn freaked out about this whole him-dying thing, and -- well. He's tired. The joke's just not as funny when you're too exhausted to laugh about it. Plus, he can really see bits and pieces of him dissolving up and fading away, and that's just not cool.
He's so tired.
But he manages a few words for Sora anyway, because hey, in a place like this, who's gonna care if a nobody makes a last confession? And hell, just maybe maybe maybe, he'll be heard--
Axel closes his eyes.
+++
Marluxia looks up at Castle Oblivion with satisfaction; it is ugly and graceless on the outside, but within it is all cool white marble and elegant angles. And there are gardens; he's seen to it himself.
All it lacks now is a master -- but no longer. He smiles.
"For mine is the kingdom," he murmurs, and he steps over the threshold and inside.
+++
It's not that he resented his master, when he was Even: it's just that he dislikes seeing potential wasted. Cute magic tricks for children, or helping the flowers of the Princess' garden to grow -- those were such small, paltry things to come out of experiments that could shape people, worlds, hearts -- darkness.
Vexen takes great comfort in his laboratory now.
+++
Luxord taps a card against his lips. Even as a regular human, there hadn't been a man whose poker face he *couldn't* read, and well. Pirates are notorious cheaters -- but those are the ones who are the most entertaining to beat at their own game.
"Sure," he says, and is careful not to smirk too widely. "I'll play."
+++
Time has a particular weight to it, which grows with every passing second. The heart takes most of that burden onto itself, to lighten the body and the soul.
And in the back of his head Zexion can feel every nonexistent heartbeat like the ticking of a clock. Tick, tick, tick-tick-ticktickticktick--
He'll grow old like this, he thinks as he puts a model together. Grow old or grow mad, which ever happens first, but it will be one and then the other and he
He does not think even having his heart back will take this away.
+++
Roxas always goes stiff when Axel touches him, and to be honest Axel hates the kind of creepy shivering twisted feeling he gets whenever they make contact, but it never stops him from trying anyway, for that one half-second of reality just before they separate.
+++
Saix has never prayed in his life, but there are nights where he finds himself meditating under the pale glow of Kingdom Hearts, and finds his rage melting away without lifting a hand.
+++
Xemnas opens his arms wide and lifts his face upwards, watching as a thousand glowing hearts rise up, twisting in the air as they stretch towards Kingdom Hearts. He almost can hear voices: some strange chorus that thrums in his blood and calls out to every single Nobody, in this not-world and all others.
And this is possibly the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and he knows that it will only be a little while longer before the final door opens, and then this will be his kingdom, this will be his world, this will be all real--
+++
light gleams off the edge of the Keyblade, the Kingdom Key, and off the sky-blue eyes of its weilder, and the final door breaks open
+++
"I WILL NOT DIE," Larxene shrieks, or maybe not, because she's already faded she's already gone she's falling apart and she can see the brat but she can't talk she can't she IS NOT GOING TO DIE
+++
--Xemnas opens his arms wide because once upon a time he was a boy who maybe had been more than just a boy and who'd lost his heart somewhere along the way--
+++
Naminé closed her sketchbook and got to her feet. She could sense her Other, deep in the castle, trapped in a cell and despairing -- and she could feel Sora, and Roxas within him, running to the castle -- and Riku is also there, biding his time, waiting for the last pieces to fall into place.
It's time.
She opens a portal and steps through to finally meet herself.
+++
Xemnas can see his own arm fading, but he still reaches out anyway, even as his body finally fails him and he crumbles. Desperate he struggles out, unable to look away from the light that glints off the Keyblade.
+++
once upon a time
there was a boy
who lost
who lost
who lost
+++
And the World That Never Was closes with a gentle click, the doorway fading away until there's no sign it ever existed. The entire universe seems to give a great shaky sigh, and then there is silence.
+++
Some doors do not need a key to be opened.
Some doors do not need a key to be closed.
--END--
(not with a bang, but a whimper)
HOLLOW MEN V
Kingdom Hearts 2 -- Organization XIII (+ Naminé); game spoilers/speculation. Some Roxas/Axel.
... these are so loosely, loosely loosely connected. A bunch of short omg pretentious pieces based on lines from T.S. Eliot's "Hollow Men." I jump all over the damned place, hah.
+++++
V: this is the way the world ends
+++
Under the trees children are singing, standing in a slow-moving circle with their hands clasped. They have high strange voices that blend in unpracticed harmony.
The witch is a tiny pale shadow among shadows, watching them with wide eyes and holds onto her elbows even though the afternoon is warm. She does not look at Lexaeus when he approaches, but the other children scatter before him. Some are laughing as they run.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall--
"Come," he says, and the witch gives him her hand.
+++
This is inbetween land -- this is not no man's land or someone's land, even though Dusks swim their way out of the ether and pathways both light and dark can be opened here. Even Sora and his two buddies aren't quite real when they're here.
Axel can relate.
He thinks maybe about coughing and seeing if he can come up with blood, but the kid already looks pretty damn freaked out about this whole him-dying thing, and -- well. He's tired. The joke's just not as funny when you're too exhausted to laugh about it. Plus, he can really see bits and pieces of him dissolving up and fading away, and that's just not cool.
He's so tired.
But he manages a few words for Sora anyway, because hey, in a place like this, who's gonna care if a nobody makes a last confession? And hell, just maybe maybe maybe, he'll be heard--
Axel closes his eyes.
+++
Marluxia looks up at Castle Oblivion with satisfaction; it is ugly and graceless on the outside, but within it is all cool white marble and elegant angles. And there are gardens; he's seen to it himself.
All it lacks now is a master -- but no longer. He smiles.
"For mine is the kingdom," he murmurs, and he steps over the threshold and inside.
+++
It's not that he resented his master, when he was Even: it's just that he dislikes seeing potential wasted. Cute magic tricks for children, or helping the flowers of the Princess' garden to grow -- those were such small, paltry things to come out of experiments that could shape people, worlds, hearts -- darkness.
Vexen takes great comfort in his laboratory now.
+++
Luxord taps a card against his lips. Even as a regular human, there hadn't been a man whose poker face he *couldn't* read, and well. Pirates are notorious cheaters -- but those are the ones who are the most entertaining to beat at their own game.
"Sure," he says, and is careful not to smirk too widely. "I'll play."
+++
Time has a particular weight to it, which grows with every passing second. The heart takes most of that burden onto itself, to lighten the body and the soul.
And in the back of his head Zexion can feel every nonexistent heartbeat like the ticking of a clock. Tick, tick, tick-tick-ticktickticktick--
He'll grow old like this, he thinks as he puts a model together. Grow old or grow mad, which ever happens first, but it will be one and then the other and he
He does not think even having his heart back will take this away.
+++
Roxas always goes stiff when Axel touches him, and to be honest Axel hates the kind of creepy shivering twisted feeling he gets whenever they make contact, but it never stops him from trying anyway, for that one half-second of reality just before they separate.
+++
Saix has never prayed in his life, but there are nights where he finds himself meditating under the pale glow of Kingdom Hearts, and finds his rage melting away without lifting a hand.
+++
Xemnas opens his arms wide and lifts his face upwards, watching as a thousand glowing hearts rise up, twisting in the air as they stretch towards Kingdom Hearts. He almost can hear voices: some strange chorus that thrums in his blood and calls out to every single Nobody, in this not-world and all others.
And this is possibly the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and he knows that it will only be a little while longer before the final door opens, and then this will be his kingdom, this will be his world, this will be all real--
+++
light gleams off the edge of the Keyblade, the Kingdom Key, and off the sky-blue eyes of its weilder, and the final door breaks open
+++
"I WILL NOT DIE," Larxene shrieks, or maybe not, because she's already faded she's already gone she's falling apart and she can see the brat but she can't talk she can't she IS NOT GOING TO DIE
+++
--Xemnas opens his arms wide because once upon a time he was a boy who maybe had been more than just a boy and who'd lost his heart somewhere along the way--
+++
Naminé closed her sketchbook and got to her feet. She could sense her Other, deep in the castle, trapped in a cell and despairing -- and she could feel Sora, and Roxas within him, running to the castle -- and Riku is also there, biding his time, waiting for the last pieces to fall into place.
It's time.
She opens a portal and steps through to finally meet herself.
+++
Xemnas can see his own arm fading, but he still reaches out anyway, even as his body finally fails him and he crumbles. Desperate he struggles out, unable to look away from the light that glints off the Keyblade.
+++
once upon a time
there was a boy
who lost
who lost
who lost
+++
And the World That Never Was closes with a gentle click, the doorway fading away until there's no sign it ever existed. The entire universe seems to give a great shaky sigh, and then there is silence.
+++
Some doors do not need a key to be opened.
Some doors do not need a key to be closed.
--END--
(not with a bang, but a whimper)
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From:
no subject
It was all neat and cool and stuff and then you got the to the last few ones and I'm going "w-wait, I'm not-" but then you just keep going and I'll be sitting over here now.
*sits in corner, faces wall, hugs knees*
You have such beautiful writing. I feel so bad for them all. Especially Xemnas, just wanting the light again :[
From:
no subject
This was seriously the hardest of the set to write, mostly because I knew how I wanted it to END, and well. Tragedy is sort of difficult for me to sustain unless I don't stop. :x
But THANK you, I'm so glad you liked this~♥
From:
no subject
I can't breathe.
I can barely see to type.
ouch.
you're so good at this.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Um. Did I mention how the last chapter just - had the feel of the Nobodies? If so, let me mention it now, you had the perfect wispy-whiteout-pathos feel somehow infused in the prose. And by the same token you appear to have perfectly accomplished in your ending piece the way a Nobody dies which is just. so. fitting. And perfect use of the ending line, and. just.
... I'm going to have to go crawl off and hurt now.
*uses crack icon in DEFENSE AGAINST THE GOODHURTY SAD*
From:
no subject
The way a Nobody dies (at least the human-looking ones) always seemed so PAINFUL, and I mean, being aware that you're dying can never be a pleasant thing. So. D:
I'm still glad you liked it, though. Thanks♥
[would use crack icon, but uses something vaguely appropriate instead]
From:
no subject
I just.
Oh my god.
This is so raw, raw raw raw despair and hope and endings and it hurt so. SO much. That need and want which I really do see in the game itself, and coming through so well here and I was. Holding up pretty good, but you know me; the sudden desperation voiced always kills me and I think I started crying a bit at Larxene's section and was crying a bit the entire rest of the way through.
Wow.
From:
no subject
Just. The awareness of knowing that you are going to die and you'll die not even a whole person -- that's got to be incredibly, incredibly difficult to live with. Or not-exist with, such as the case may be.
[HUGS] I'm so glad you liked this. ♥
From:
no subject
Seriously, I absolutely love the feel of this. I love how especially in this section, the sections feel like snippets of something greater - like there's a whole story to be told - their story - and knowing we only see glimpses makes it hurt that much harder.
I really loved this line in particular: "For mine is the kingdom," he murmurs, and he steps over the threshold and inside.
Beautiful, as always. *applauds* ♥♥♥
From:
no subject
Thank you for reading, I'm so glad you enjoyed these~~♥
From:
no subject
Pretentious maybe, but in most apt possible way, the poem FITS SO WELL and I can't in words communicate how much I enjoyed reading these.
From:
no subject
THANK you so much, I'm really glad that these worked. :) The original poem sort of hit me over the head when I first read it, and I'm glad I was able to convey some of it, with this set of ficlets.
Thank you for reading♥
From:
no subject
Plus, he can really see bits and pieces of him dissolving up and fading away, and that's just not cool.
I think I started trying not to cry there, and was fighting a losing battle all the way to the end.
--Xemnas opens his arms wide because once upon a time he was a boy who maybe had been more than just a boy and who'd lost his heart somewhere along the way--
And there was where I cried. And I could barely see the screen by the time I got to the little once upon a time - there was a boy - who lost repeating bit.
You are amazing, girl. The way you write, the disconnected, surreal, almost desperate but still CALMING feel... and the characterization... Dayam.
Keep writing, please! ♥
From:
no subject
I'm really glad, though, that the fairytale repetition didn't seem too overboard; when I was finally able to come back to these (I wrote them in about two hours, posted and then declared to myself I was TAKING A BREAK, haha), I was sort of worried that they'd come across overdone. The fact that it worked just makes me so relieved, ee♥
Thank you SO much for taking the time to read it. I appreciate it incredibly much♥♥♥
From:
no subject
It's really hard to do repeating theme without feeling like you're repeating it too much, isn't it? In my opinion, you did manage it nicely♥
You're very welcome, I love reading your stuff. It's always so well done♥♥
From:
no subject
All I can say is: ow. It's so pretty, and yet, so sad. I wish the Nobodies hadn't died, but... :| One thing that will always kind of unsettle me about the game is how Sora seems to see the world kind of in black-and-white-- it's his strength, since it lets him slice through as many ranks of Heartless/Nobodies as he needs to without getting all guilty about it, and yet... to be so ambivalent about it is kinda eerie too. XD I guess maybe it's just because he doesn't think of them as people in the real sense of the word.
...there are nights where he finds himself meditating under the pale glow of Kingdom Hearts, and finds his rage melting away without lifting a hand.
For some reason, this line really, really got to me! I don't know. Maybe it's the implication that the power of so many 'released' hearts is calming somehow (Jumbo-sized Heart=Jumbo-sized Compassion/Love?). If that's the effect having Kingdom Hearts shine on you has, man, I'd want some of that too.
I also really like how this series began with the 'once upon a time' theme, which got threaded throughout all its 'chapters'. I love fairy tales, so the inclusion of that made me squeal in a very high-pitched voice in my head. Yes.
The section with Namine and Larxene way at the beginning got to me, too.
"Are we hollow? Would we rattle in a strong wind?"
"We're meat. There's guts and worse, even in a scrap like you."
That's an exchange that made my hairs stand on end-- so oddly eerie.
In sum: thank you for writing such a nice, heartstring-tugging fic like this. I thought it was lovely! :D
From:
no subject
Ah, if anyone recced me, it was probably Haru. :) I'm too small-fry to be recced anywhere else. XD
I sort of think that in some ways, it might have actually been better that the Nobodies died -- other than Sora and Kairi, there's no indication of what happened to their bodies/hearts (would a Nobody die if its corresponding Heartless was destroyed?), so I mean. If Kingdom Hearts doesn't give them back their hearts, and they remain in a sort of ... stasis, not really being alive or dead, "dying" as they are might be the better thing. Honestly, I don't know.
And I think that the thing with Sora is -- we see authority figures, people he believes he can trust, deliberately mislead him, and I think it's BECAUSE they know that Sora is very straightforward. He's young, he's noble, and he does see the world as bad vs. good; once you start introducing ambiguities, he'd start questioning, and what Yen Sid and Ansem wanted was not a hero going "but maybe we shouldn't do this," they wanted someone who'd be THEY'RE BAD GET RID OF 'EM. It may even be a bit of self-defense on his part, because if he starts thinking of the Nobodies as people, by extension he'd become a murderer, and that ALSO wouldn't do very well for this whole "hero saves the world" thing. >_>
Kingdom Hearts is "light," Sora says, but it's also "darkness" -- thing is, it's balance. It evens things out, so that there's not any one thing more than the other, which I dunno, I think I'd find very calming. XD
[fellow fairytale geek, hee] I'm so glad that the motif worked in this. :) I sort of worried about maybe overdoing it, so it's a relief to know it worked♥
Thank you so, so much for taking the time to read and for such nice comments♥♥ It makes me incredibly happy to know someone enjoyed my stuff♥
From:
no subject
I wish I had more words, but I just don't. It was a most perfect experience to read. Thank you for writing it.
From:
no subject
But I'm really glad that you enjoyed this fic -- it was seriously one of those things where inspiration hit out of the blue, and there it all was, in bits and pieces.
It makes me glad to know the story worked in this piecemeal format. Thanks for reading!
From:
no subject
there was a boy
who lost
who lost
who lost
If I weren't in public right now I'd be bawling. /had to break out the tissues in all haste anyway
The whole thing was amazing but those lines. ;;
I don't even remember if I've already read this or not, it's been so long since I was recced it, but even if I had, it would still kick just as hard. /slides into mems to cry over properly later
From:
no subject