Bizzare storytime?

[nekokoban]

So, I've been mulling this over in my head for a few hours, and I'm curious.

Today, riding the bus home from work, shadawyn and I (for the uninitiated, she's a college friend/co-worker of mine, and half-Korean -- as opposed to me, who is full-Korean) were talking about some stuff that she'd discussed in her own LJ earlier, about how the sci-fi/fantasy community is apparently considering starting a mentorship program to encourge "minority" writers. We were debating the pros and cons, including a brief tangent to the apparency that it's not really the "white writer community" that seems to prevent Asians from becoming writers but (speaking only from our own personal experiences) the attitudes of our OWN communities, because while writing, especially genre-writing, is all well and good for a hobby, it's not world-changing, immediately and fantastically lucrative, or anything like that. My parents still sort of think of writing as a "silly little hobby" of mine that I'll eventually outgrow.

But that's neither here nor there -- back to the story: so we were talking about this, and as we hit downtown Seattle and the game traffic, we reach a certain stop. And this guy comes up to us, clasps her shoulder and leans down, telling her with a gentle smile and a friendly tone, "You're a very pretty white girl. You're not a minority."

And then he wandered off the bus. Nothing in his attitude or tone was the least bit rude or condescending, or even mean, but just ... what.

She and I were really more boggled by the situation than anything (and I mean, granted -- compared to me, she does look fairly Caucasian, but I am apparently the amazingly Chinese-looking one*; I have yet to have anyone -- even other Koreans -- guess my nationality correctly XD;), but just.

It was SO WEIRD. And I can't figure out if I should be offended by this or not, because every time I think about it again, I end up laughing a bit helplessly and shaking my head.

* This weekend, I went to the International District -- Seattle's Chinatown, pretty much -- with zinjadu and sigelphoenix. We saw what was essentially a musical protest; people were talking down the street with a stereo on a little red wagon and even a costume-dragon. When we crossed paths, this little old lady walked right past sigelphoenix -- who is, what, Burmese? but is also very classically Asian in appearance -- and handed me the flyer in Chinese. I didn't quite have the heart to tell her I couldn't read a damn word, since, uh, my kanji-reading skills are all for the Japanese readings. 8D

But it was funny because she turned back, looked at zinjadu, considered for a moment, then handed her the same flyer in English, and hurried off after her protest/parade. And thus we realized that it was a protest in the first place, since the flyer boldly declared it was a protest against the Chinese Communist party.

... Feyfey, I'm starting to think it's not YOUR fault that we kept running into all those weirdos as we walked down 50th. D:

Comments

[sigelphoenix.livejournal.com]

I would tell him to fuck off. I would tell him so hard.

But, uh ... anyway, I'm glad the guy wasn't actively frightening or disturbing, especially because you seem to have a weird attraction for freaky strangers. Just, uh, disregard my little rage there. :P

Actually, my parents were born and raised in Burma, but my ancestors are purely Chinese. Which makes it funnier that you're always "the Chinese one." XD

[nekokoban]

I think we were too stunned for it. We were sort of "... thaaaat was interesting. What? What?"

Honestly, I don't think he even realized that he was being offensive. He seemed so ... bemusedly pleased with himself, too, which was the weirder thing. XD;;

AHA. See, I always thought you looked more "Chinese" than I do, if we're going for the classic look -- but somehow, I'm still the one with the flyer in kanji I can't read. WHY. XD

[woodburner.livejournal.com]

I... I can't figure what he meant by that. That's like, the most bizarre thing I've ever heard.

Well maybe not the most bizarre. But pretty up there.

[nekokoban]

See, that's it -- I don't think he was being intentionally offensive, but WHAT he said coupled with the discussion we were having BEFORE it makes it all just sort of -- um. I don't even know. 8D

[miss-arel.livejournal.com]

Well, technically it was Ann attracting the creepy one this time, not you, but... still. *HUGS*

I know I personally would be offended if I'd been there simply because of the implied statement of "Oh don't you worry, sweetie, you're a nice white girl and not one of those yucky darkies LIKE YOUR FRIEND WHO'S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU so don't you worry princess". *seethes*

*gives more hugs*

[nekokoban]

I will note that he came up and told us this AFTER nearly ten, fifteen minutes of listening to me and Ann discuss what it's like to grow up with Asian parents. Ann was outright talking about how she would relate to the "white" geek community vs. the "Asian" community, and got told this, which is just. Um.

Really weird! 8D

[hugs] I'm not offended, just really bemused by the whole thing. People are so STRANGE. XD;

[miss-arel.livejournal.com]

XD I guess what offends me so much is that there are people out there who would say such things and not know it was offensive. You know? It's like, "wow, you just dissed someone to her face and you don't even know it." I think in some ways that's as bad as being deliberately rude.

But anyway, it didn't happen to me, it happened to you, and you seem to be handling it with very good humor, and that's the important thing.

People are so STRANGE.

Dear God, are they ever.

[nekokoban]

It probably IS bad that people are inadvertantly rude -- but it's not as much something you can deal with except on a very wide scale. The guy on the bus totally acted like he'd done a good deed, complimenting Ann like he did, and if you'd pointed out what was wrong with him, he would've probably gotten very huffy and defensive and ... if I'd even thought of it at the time, it probably would not have been worth the issue. XD;

I had worse in elementary school, honestly. |D I just remember that people are WEIRD, and leave it at that. 8D

[ontogenesis.livejournal.com]

Some people (usually older Caucasian men) have no idea what it's like to be member of a minority group, so they'll say the craziest things without understanding how it could be offensive.

Technically, you have a "right" to be offended, but it's more benefical for you to have a sense of humor about like you do. ^^

[nekokoban]

And in such a kindly, fatherly tone too!

It just felt really weird, him saying that after the conversation we'd been having; if nothing else, I would think that a fully grown adult would know what her nationality is, without some stranger on the bus telling her.

... but it was still sort of funny, in a really bizarre way.

[torsui.livejournal.com]

weird. and o hay thar didn't know you were korean too. ^_^

we had kind of the opposite experience on a tour i went on recently. everybody else on the tour was korean, most of them unable to speak english. everybody else got brochures in korean. we got them in english. huh. maybe they'd overheard me talking with my parents or something.

[nekokoban]

I am! I don't speak the language, unfortunately -- I lost it when I was young, and my parents never kept up with making me speak it. XD;

It's just sort of weird -- people always, always mistake me for Chinese (I once argued for fifteen minutes with a girl who insisted I could not be Korean because of my looks ^^;), even if there are other people of Chinese descent around.

Language expectations are weird. >_>

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

Holy crap, you're right. Maybe I'm not the weirdo magnet after all!

[nekokoban]

You might be an amplifier, but I might be the magnet. DDDDD:

... I'm starting to wonder if I should keep walking down 50th to get to the market after all. XD;

[irishninja.livejournal.com]

Shadawyn told me this story when she got home and I was like, O_o

When I first met her I thought she was full Asian. I mean, I can see that she's not when she's standing next to someone who is, but it's not like she's blonde and blue-eyed or anything like that. It's pretty clear (at least to someone who is remotely observant) that she is at least half Asian. Maybe that weird guy would have seen that if she was sitting between you and a fully caucasian girl? But maybe not...

I'm guessing he was blind or old or just... I don't know...

[nekokoban]

See, she told me after the guy got off that other Asians tend to see her Asian heritage, but to Caucasians, she tends to look white--? So I looked at her, but I dunno, she looks like she's got Asian blood in her to ME. o_oa

He was not OLD, but not young, either -- possibly in his forties or so? Getting up there, but he was sort of ... I dunno, maybe he was hard of sight. XD; It was definitely one of the weirder things that ever happened on the bus.

[irishninja.livejournal.com]

Huh. I don't know that any of my friends mistook her as not Asian, but then, my friends aren't 40-something businessmen. ;D

Oh the plus side, at least his eyesight was good enough to realize that she's pretty. ;)

OT liek whoa

[elanor-pam.livejournal.com]

Your CCS icons make me writhe to watch it again. T__T I've re-read the manga countless times already, but... just... the anime.

I wish the anime DVD marked in my country would stop crawling and peeing in its pants.

Re: OT liek whoa

[irishninja.livejournal.com]

Sorry to depress you like that. :\ You can get the DVDs from Amazon, but they're region 1 and I'm not sure how much that will help you.

And here, I'll leave you with yet another CCS icon. Syaoran Li FTW!

[kawaiigami.livejournal.com]

Inadvertent rudeness is the most awkward kind to deal with. >_< At least, IMHO, just because I always have a hard time knowing whether or not to call the person on it. That said, I think you've got the right idea just shaking your head at how strange some people are.
It reminds me of all the stories I've heard of people of obviously Japanese/Korean/Chinese appearance going to Japan and getting spoken to in Japanese. Even if they don't know three words in the language and their (obviously Caucasian/whatever) friend right next to them is practically fluent and trying to communicate this fact.

[nekokoban]

Pretty much, yeah -- I mean, my biggest problem in dealing with rudenss from others is that I tend to get stymied instead; I can think of really scathing and witty comebacks ... three hours later, after mulling over it. XD;;

The other kind of funny story was when my friends and I went into a Chinese resturant and the lady came out, saw us, and it was sort of ... you saw her face obviously progress from ":D ... :| .... >(" and she was really rude until one of my friends placed his order in Cantonese at her, and she sort of went "O_o" and was nicer to us for the rest of the time.

Thinking back on it now, I just sort of think it was sort of funny, more than anything else, if in a very head-shaking "what the hell, man" sort of way. XD;

[elanor-pam.livejournal.com]

Um, yeah, people. What.

The closest I can imagine to that is if someone walked up to my cousin Hannah and said "Don't worry, dear, your hair is straight so it pretty much makes you not-black", as if she DESPERATELLY needed to reassure herself and would break down otherwise.

I look pretty traditionally iberic, so I don't get any of that, but my long and untrimmed hair keeps leading people to asking me if I'm part of some weird religion, or if it's a promise, of if I'm growing it out to sell it, or if I intend to let it get to my feet... And they just CAN'T seem to get it when I say "I'm not making plans for it, I'll cut it if it bothers me, and since it's not it's still there". And they say "It's beautiful, don't cut it!" when I just said I WOULDN'T. And then they tell me it'd be worth hundreds or even thousands if I offered to auction it on some garbage sunday program :x;; Makes me feel like pulling a Sindel and whipping them with my hair.

[nekokoban]

It's just so bizarre, in so many ways. o_oa I mean, it's one thing if someone was THAT DESPERATE for acceptance into white society (which is a whole other can of worms I shan't touch) but -- we'd just spent a good ten minutes discussing what it's like to grow up Asian-American, and how the stereotypes of the crazy Asian parents are/aren't true, and ... yeah. When the person is talking candidly and blatantly about their Asian heritage, it's kind of -- stupid, really, tell her she's not. XD;

I get a lot of that about my hair, too -- I haven't cut it in a while, because I personally think I look better with long hair (short hair is cute on some people; I am not one of that group), but I had a few friends who'd go DDDDDD: at me at the possibility of cutting my hair, even though I never wanted to. (Though on the other hand, my dad hates short hair and keeps bribing me to cut it, so I suppose that's a bit different. XD Seriously, there was once he offered me $6 for every inch I hacked off. Oh, Dad.)

One of my coworkers insists I should donate to Locks for Love, which I think is a cool idea, but my hair's nowhere near as long as it needs to be, and won't be for a long time yet, if I understand right.

But maybe someday! I think. >_>