So, question!

Given that I am, haha, much better at the try-and-smash-till-it-works method of coding, I'm wondering if any of you fabulous people can give me a quick-n-dirty tutorial on how to make layouts for LJ? I've poked around a bit, and only really succeeded in confusing myself. T_____T Maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places and the directions are simple -- in which case, a push in the right direction would be awesome.

EDIT: IT'S JUST THIS ONE DAMN VERSE. THAT. WON'T. GO. AWAY.

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don't like it
What's with all the screaming?
You like monkies, you like ponies
Maybe you don't like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn't it enough to know I ruined a pony
Making a gift for you?