This is what I do instead of update properly these days

→ A N O N _ M E M E

I keep telling myself I'll stop doing these, but I'm also one of those people who's just constantly morbidly curious. I have reached some measure of equilibrium with my confidence -- which is to say: I am confident that I am not as bad as I sometimes often think I am, but there is still that whole "as I sometimes think" part. This can and has tripped me up before.

Ultimately, I think I'm better off than I was when I graduated from college, two years ago. Man, that was a weird time for me; while I was extraordinarily lucky in that I had a job coming straight out of school (I was working part-time, took a week off to do graduation and such with my parents, then went to work full-time), it was a very mad time of transitions and freaking out and for the first time in over twenty years I am not a student. There are still things I'm worried about (or in some cases, downright terrified about, haha)! but I think two years of living without my parents' support -- and with their safety-net long-distance -- has helped me a lot in the confidence area.

This doesn't mean that DOOM doesn't worry me, or that even though I consider myself normally very optimistic it's very easy to think the worst of the situation. But somewhere along the way, the fact that "I am an adult, I can and am support myself and still have fun with the same silly happy things I did as a student" has really sunk in. Becoming an adult didn't mean I had to give up the things I liked, which I think on some level, I have always known -- it's just not something I've been able to articulate before without some measure of defensiveness. *g*

[works on the other meme]


o rite: HAPPY BIRTHDAY chibimazoku♥♥♥