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Maybe I'll actually keep up the habit of updating this journal!? Ha ha ha probably not--but springkink fic is coming up, so everyone who doesn't care will get something soon. |D;;
- So, today, our biggest client filed for Chapter 11. In theory we'll be all right, but it's still a little scary. I'm worried. :x I know there's very little that can be done, and worrying won't accomplish anything, but--yeah. Our CEO and the VP of my department remain cautiously optimistic, so I should do it too, but man. I just moved, I'm on my own, and the world is a little bit of a scary place. .o.
Relatedly there a lot of people on my floor who are out today, so it is very, very quiet. It's kind of unsettling. XD;;
- Second, I--okay. Backing up a little, my thing goes kind of like this: I don't like to get into fights, so I will very rarely speak up or get myself involved in debates or flamewars or anything. It's bad for my mental stress levels and I recognize that in myself, so I try to avoid it. However, while I don't make a spectacle--or even a very public issue--of a lot of things I think and believe, I don't try to hide them, either. It's less being ashamed of what I think and feel and more that I don't particularly care to share them very often, unless I am comfortable with the situation and the people I am talking to. Certain things, sure, I will toss out as a matter of public record, but the majority of it is stuff I only tell privately.
HOWEVER. I am also--pretty blunt, I think, when I do tell people things? I am not the most sensitive or tactful person ever, as much as I sometimes wish I could be. I try to look at things from someone else's point of view, but there are still times where I get bogged down in my own and get frustrated when I lock horns with someone equally stubborn. This has gotten me into trouble before, and there have been times where I've had to at least verbally (or textually, as the case may be) compromise on what I think and believe to keep the peace. This really doesn't actually bother me too much--I get angry at the internet, but I can also disengage and cool down.
My big problem, I think, is in having to censor myself. Less than a deliberate choice (which is 90% of the time) and--the feeling I have to tread carefully, because Here There Be Dragons. I want to be able to feel like I can express myself without fearing an explosion or a fight or similar, but as always, I will take the path of least resistance to prevent a scene, if I can.
It's just that sometimes, I wish I cared less about making a scene, and that I was a little less gunshy about speaking my mind--but I'm not prepared to deal with the fallout most of the time, and so I keep my mouth shut. Sob.
- Dear world, I request that people write me reversetrap!Hakuren and Gyokuran. It doesn't matter that she's only been in one chapter so far, I have every confidence that their interaction will be amazing. Also Hakuren as a reverse trap would just make me happy, and there is not enough genderswitch fic in the world. I would like that very much to make up for the first two points, as well as the disturbing amount of bruises and cuts I have accumulated over the course of the weekends, especially considering I--wasn't doing any of the heavy lifting for my move.
Liiiiiiiife. [fistshake]
- So, today, our biggest client filed for Chapter 11. In theory we'll be all right, but it's still a little scary. I'm worried. :x I know there's very little that can be done, and worrying won't accomplish anything, but--yeah. Our CEO and the VP of my department remain cautiously optimistic, so I should do it too, but man. I just moved, I'm on my own, and the world is a little bit of a scary place. .o.
Relatedly there a lot of people on my floor who are out today, so it is very, very quiet. It's kind of unsettling. XD;;
- Second, I--okay. Backing up a little, my thing goes kind of like this: I don't like to get into fights, so I will very rarely speak up or get myself involved in debates or flamewars or anything. It's bad for my mental stress levels and I recognize that in myself, so I try to avoid it. However, while I don't make a spectacle--or even a very public issue--of a lot of things I think and believe, I don't try to hide them, either. It's less being ashamed of what I think and feel and more that I don't particularly care to share them very often, unless I am comfortable with the situation and the people I am talking to. Certain things, sure, I will toss out as a matter of public record, but the majority of it is stuff I only tell privately.
HOWEVER. I am also--pretty blunt, I think, when I do tell people things? I am not the most sensitive or tactful person ever, as much as I sometimes wish I could be. I try to look at things from someone else's point of view, but there are still times where I get bogged down in my own and get frustrated when I lock horns with someone equally stubborn. This has gotten me into trouble before, and there have been times where I've had to at least verbally (or textually, as the case may be) compromise on what I think and believe to keep the peace. This really doesn't actually bother me too much--I get angry at the internet, but I can also disengage and cool down.
My big problem, I think, is in having to censor myself. Less than a deliberate choice (which is 90% of the time) and--the feeling I have to tread carefully, because Here There Be Dragons. I want to be able to feel like I can express myself without fearing an explosion or a fight or similar, but as always, I will take the path of least resistance to prevent a scene, if I can.
It's just that sometimes, I wish I cared less about making a scene, and that I was a little less gunshy about speaking my mind--but I'm not prepared to deal with the fallout most of the time, and so I keep my mouth shut. Sob.
- Dear world, I request that people write me reversetrap!Hakuren and Gyokuran. It doesn't matter that she's only been in one chapter so far, I have every confidence that their interaction will be amazing. Also Hakuren as a reverse trap would just make me happy, and there is not enough genderswitch fic in the world. I would like that very much to make up for the first two points, as well as the disturbing amount of bruises and cuts I have accumulated over the course of the weekends, especially considering I--wasn't doing any of the heavy lifting for my move.
Liiiiiiiife. [fistshake]