Once upon a time, in a certain place ...

Sob I am sick. :'( I was going to do some setup for a Thing I wanted to run starting this weekend, but--sick! And then I realized that I was in no shape to actually run anything except maybe the electric kettle for tea. (I have had so much tea and water and juice in the past three days that I am fairly certain that my body's water level was something more like 99% than 90% or whatever the number actually is.) It has wrecked my desire to really ... do anything except bang together a very basic dinner and watch TV when I get home from work, rather than--any of the other things I should be and would be doing. :( I PLAN ON USING THIS WEEKEND TO RECOVER, THOUGH! I suspect it's just one of my usual allergy attacks+minor sinus infection, since we had a major weather shift a week or so ago--90 to 60 in pretty much a single day!--and I was moving so there was dust and fraff and worse everywhere. +_+

In an attempt to comfort myself, I am listening to Shimoda Asami's Prism album over and over. If you recognize the signifigance of the album, you are a dork just like me. |D I think the only way it could've made me happier is if at least one of the Aku No songs had made it onto the playlist--but! I will just live in the hope that if Prism does well, maybe it will be repeated in the future. :|a SO INSTEAD, I am listening to the handful of covers I have for the original songs, and man. Man. I really do love the story those songs tell--and man, I just love fairy tales. :( Not just the happily-ever-after ones that got cleaned up, but the ugly and the weird and the twisted, and the rules that people just. Knew to follow, or disregarded at their own risk. One of my impulse buys this weekend was a book about the edits and cuts to the original Grimm stories and the fact that even as far back as the time of Wilhelm and Jakob Grimm, sex was more heavily-censored and edited than the violence and it has been fascinating. :x

And really, I think the stories I feel happiest about, recently--going back a bit, because my writing has been horribly slow lately--have been the things I wrote for Yuletide, and for Imaginary Beasts, the fairytale stories with the tasks and witches and talking beasts and all kinds of strange things. I think my strengths do lie in the simple language and the twists that are more like how the old woman at the corner is actually a witch-queen keeping an eye on you rather than THE BUTLER DID IT! or anything. I think this is why I have problems writing a lot of--grittier stuff, I guess, unless I wrap it up in kind of funny unsuited (?!) language, and put some distance between it and myself.

As I become more settled into my self, I think--I'm not really suited for really long epics, or full-length novels, or anything like that. I think, if I ever do make it into the professional writing field, it'll be for short stories--and maybe, hopefully, new fairy tales. I would like that.




Also tomorrow is enough_space's birthday so I AM SAYING IT HERE FIRST!11111111 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! SO THERE. ♥♥♥

The sound of one person talking

TWICE IN ONE DAY! What is this madness!

Actually, part of this is because I was considering doing the honesty meme that's floating around LJ again--it always worries me, because I am a person naturally inclined to worry about what other people think--but I do like the honesty. And sometimes people can only do that when they're being anonymous, which ... isn't something I agree with, but it's something I've felt before, so it's hardly something I can censure. This led to me thinking--because a lot of times, these memes tend to go three ways: a) no response at all, b) lots of love and affection, and c) critique. The last time I commented to these sorts of memes (both the general one and the RP one) I heard things that--I already knew! And things that didn't make me entirely happy, but it wasn't stuff I was unaware of. *wg*

So I have been thinking about it, and thinking about it, and while I don't know if I've reached any sort of truly satisfactory conclusion, I've made a few. We'll see how they go!

Which is to say: this is a defriending amnesty post.

1. I don't write as much as I used to, and this does make me sad, but it's also just sort of a function of my life. I still want to, and I still intend to, but I ... also feel bad that 90% of you guys originally friended me for fic, and I'm not putting out. :x It's gotten to a point where I will feel guilty sometimes doing the rambling life posts or the talky posts--and I love it when people reply to me! But it's also become this kneejerk where I feel like I have to apologize for posts that aren't fic! And the person who told me, last honesty meme, that I used to be so prolific (which I still disagree with, I have never felt that way, sob) and now I direct all my creative energy to RP. Which is--fair to some degree, but also ... not? I think. It is my free time and my creative energy to utilize as I wish, and sometimes that is fic, and sometimes that is RP!

2. More often than not, these days, I just want to ... ramble, like I used to do, back when I was just posting fic to my website and had the blog just for the sake of being a blog. Way back before I was really on LJ fulltime--it wasn't like I had a separate fic journal (I tried all those trendy things and they never really amounted to much *wg*), I just ... fic went one place, and only that place, and my journal was for me to talk to and at people. I kind of miss that!

2a. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop posting fic to this LJ! When I have it, I'll post it here. But I don't want this to be primarily fic, which is the impression I've always had of it, myself. CLEARLY THAT IS NOT THE CASE, SO I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT FINALLY!

I don't want people to feel obligated to keep this journal friended--especially since a lot of times, I am just flaffing on about a whole lot of nothing. That does mean you people on the filters, too, which I am woefully behind with maintaining. You are welcome to defriend me, and I will not hate you or feel unhappy or anything. I promise! I'll still probably keep locking adult stuff, if/when I write and post it (enough_space has nearly gotten me to agree to doing DW's kink bingo thing, sob what am I getting into!), but it happens so infrequently it feels unfair to maintain the expectation when it's probably not forthcoming for a while. :B I'll have a few other locked posts, as per life and necessity, but this journal is pretty open. My life is so ordinary, there's little to hide. Maybe I should make up some dramatic backstory for myself!

This is not a journal reboot or anything, this is just me going "... well!" and trying to be honest about it. AS ALWAYS, people are welcome to yell at me or comment or tell me anything they want; if they don't want to do it publically, I can be PMed, or emailed, and I have anon commenting on. IP logging is on, but I don't actually pay attention to that except for spambots. :|a

For the record, I will not be doing a flist cut unless you cut me first--this is not hard feelings, this is just "holy crap when did my flist get to be this long, w-well, if they're not reading me maybe it's okay if I cut them uwah."

I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING. Happy Friday, everyone. O/