(no subject)

[nekokoban]

Man.

I was going to do a post, I think, talking about travel--I don't do it very much, and honestly, I don't think it counts, because it's basically flying back to Texas to see my parents. The interesting thing for me, though, is that every time I go back to Austin, I am more and more certain that I don't want to live there; it doesn't really feel like "my" city. After fifteen-plus years, I still don't really know the streets and the neighborhoods and the directions except the MOST famous, and Austin is a city where you have to drive--public transportation is pretty damn laughable. Whereas in Seattle, I know where places are, I know where streets are, and I can navigate comfortably in this gray wet windy pacific northwest place.

But. I don't actually mind leaving Seattle--and coming back isn't very exciting. There's always this little part of me that perks up when we land at the airport in Austin, and part of me that deflates when I have to leave. I blame it on my parents--because I know they'll be waiting when I arrive, and they stand and wave at me until I've gone through the security checkpoint when I leave. I talked to Mom a bit about whether they'd move, and for her, Austin is her city. She likes it there, hot summer weather and allergies and everything aside. They've talked sometimes about moving back to Korea, or moving closer to me, but after last week, I'm not sure. Mom says she'd like it if I could inherit their house, which I have mixed feelings about--because it is the house I grew up in, and I love it, but it's in Austin and it's that horrible sinking feeling of knowing your parents won't be there forever. There is going to be a point where I will go back to Austin and they won't be there and I will cry in public even though I hate it. W-wry.

Then I got sidetracked! Life rolls on--I'm back at work again for the first time in nearly two weeks (in a display of the worst timing ever, I got miserably sick for a week, and THEN I went to visit my parents for a week o lulz) and it is madly busy. Some people even noticed I was gone and expressed concern and relief that I was not, in fact, dead. :|b I am also running my first game of CFUW ever, and it's the whole IC CARRYOVER KILL GAME and ahhhhhhhhhh I'm so paranoid. XD IT IS A LOT OF FUN BUT I kind of wish I could've gotten some practice in first, but oh well. Dive in headfirst to the deep end, me! You can do it! Or die trying!

On that note, I thought about doing the "I always wanted to say ..." meme, but I figured I'd do the super-lazy version and leave it in my journal.

ANON COMMENTING IS ALWAYS ON IN THIS JOURNAL and I made sure it is this time |D SO PLEASE TELL ME IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY.

Technically IP logging is on but I'm bad with tracking that sort of thing.



A-and if people in CFUD can tell me whether I am overdoing it with wolf or if they're enjoying it or if there's anything I can improve, please please do. ;o;

Comments

[alexander.livejournal.com]

I actually was wondering if maybe you and I someday could have a little chat chat about a spin off or side game since I rather enjoy our chan of sin and evil and this little game and our SH event planning but~ as it is not the focus of CFUD etc yanno~

[nekokoban]

You can grab me anytime, bb. :(b I LIKE BEING EVIL WITH YOU.

[chibimazoku.livejournal.com]

...

ping

[cyanwitch.livejournal.com]

ooo, Austin. I think I went there on a field trip once in grade school? Maybe? Capital city of Texas and all that. And knowing me, I am dead wrong despite having lived here all my life, cause I'm really not sure if it is. And public transportation is... Haha, one day I will actually figure it out. Maybe.

And because I am fail, what is CFUW? *curiostiy*

[nekokoban]

It is the capitol, yes! Though I lived out in the suburbs than the city proper, it was still Austin. From what I've heard, most of the buses at UT Austin stop running after dark, which is--kind of stupid, in my opinion, because it's not like there aren't things like night classes and stuff. :|

CFUW = cryfuckuwolf. It's like a minigame/game-within-a-game attachment to campfuckudie, the RP I'm involved in. o/

[grazie.livejournal.com]

I-I am enjoying it, at least?

[nekokoban]

I AM GLAD ;^;b

[cadence-zero.livejournal.com]

I AM ENJOYING IT LOTS.

The atmosphere and everything that's happened so far has been super creepy and awesome. :Db Anything I could suggest for improvement would mostly be nitpicky logistical things? And it's not like I have ever run an actual CFUW game or anything like it, either, so I am not sure anything I suggest would actually be an improvement.

And I am def. having lots of fun. :D

[nekokoban]

I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT ;;b I'm hoping to take this as a learning experience, so if/when most likely when I run another game, I'll have a better idea of what to do/what not to do, for my own peace of mind. *g*

BUT IT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY sob \o/

[inarticulate.livejournal.com]

THINGS LIKE THAT MAKE ME WISH I WERE STILL IN CFUD :(

…And then I remember it's a side game anyway and I weep. ._.

[nekokoban]

PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGING ME TO BE A HORRIBLE PERSON I think I've killed more characters in the past month than I did in my entire previous year. :|a

P.S. If the natterings AJ and I are doing ever come to fruition, come laugh at us.

[vaulted-eel.livejournal.com]

Oh, I didn't realize you were running that CFUW game! (I, uh, kinda actually started following CFUD again because of it. XD; Also because I heard there were going to be creepy SH-esque hijinks in the main game.) I THINK IT IS AWESOME.

[nekokoban]

I HAVE A LOT OF AWESOME HELPERS but yeah, I'm the one writing the posts/juggling the majority of stuff. 8D;;;; PLUS I'm going to be involved with the Silent Hill stuff, because I love Silent Hill and AJ enables me being terrible with her. ;o;b

[qara-isuke.livejournal.com]

I AM KIND OF LOVING IT, yes. Between that and the SH thing you're planning, I kind of keep peeking at AIM and then wondering where you are on IRC so I can rape you omg squee at you.

[nekokoban]

I AM AT WORK RIGHT NOW so I cannot be on either. :(b HOWEVER, when I am on IRC (evenings PST!), I am always in mainchan and in #babydragon, if you ever need or want to find me. o/

[miss-arel.livejournal.com]

I'm enjoying it a lot! I like the new format and the new style of play; it's exciting and different and I'm really liking playing in it. And of course, your creepy is good creepy. ♥

There's really no point in saying the next part anonymously, so I'll just say it, and you can delete or screen it if you'd rather it not be public, but I feel like I gotta say it.

I really appreciate the extra work you've been putting in to keeping up with the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, I have definitely noticed an improvement since I came back at the beginning of the month. I still find myself feeling frustrated with the level of clutter in the bathroom and the living room, but not to the point that I once was, which I attribute partly to me just being more emotionally stable than I was a year or even six months ago. I really appreciate your patience and your stability in putting up with my neuroses, and I enjoy living with you, and eating with you, and hanging out in the evenings, and I miss you when you're not around. But I also feel like I'm ready for the next stage of my life; and I think, in a way, I'll be able to be a better friend to you once we're no longer living together, when I can take some time and really figure out what I need from the space around me and what makes me comfortable.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh -- it isn't meant to be. You've always been a good friend to me, and I'm very glad to know you.


As to what you said about Austin and Seattle... [hugs] I think I can sympathize? I definitely feel the conflict between the place where my family is, and the place where my friends are, and me not knowing where I belong. I hope that you find someplace where you can feel at home. ♥

[nekokoban]

I am honestly pretty certain that we'll do a lot better when we're no longer living together. *wg* Which will be immensely strange for me to live on my own, but I think I'm pretty ready for that, too; I've been checking places out and trying to decide where I'd want to move.

Ah, see, that's not really the point--I DO think I belong in Seattle, and I DO feel at home here. I just like going to Austin and dislike leaving it more, because that's where my parents are. *g*

[zinthos.livejournal.com]

I THINK ALL THIS EVIL IS FABULOUS OKAY. It's rekindled my addiction to CFUD, that's for sure.

[nekokoban]

OH GOOD I AM GLAD TO HEAR IT 8D T-taking it one day at a time, OU. I think the twenty-four hour fallout period is just as useful for me as it is for everyone playing, hahaha. XD

[fuyu]

YOUR EVIL IS WONDERFUL BB. You do creepy and horrible oh so well. 8D

[nekokoban]

♥♥♥ 8D

[lluvia]

DRIVE-BY OMG I LOVE YOUR EVIL ♥♥♥ but you knew this already |D

[nekokoban]

I STILL LIKE HEARING IT e-especially since I am still rather paranoid. |D Last night I was all "OKAY THEY HAVE THEIR CLUE, NOW I CAN GO FREAK OUT WHETHER OR NOT I'M DOING THIS RIGHT!" :( This doesn't stop me from already considering what I can do next time.

[recurrence.livejournal.com]

I'm not playing in the game itself, but I've been stalking it and the CFUD threads, and it is fucking fabulous. You've been doing a ton of stuff for the game in the past month or so, and it's just — absolutely brilliant.

I HAVE NOTHING ELSE CONSTRUCTIVE TO SAY, just that. A++ you're fab and holy shit please keep scaring the crap out of the game because it's incredibly awesome and you and the others involved (Nishi, AJ, Morrolan) in those events and games do it really, really well.

[nekokoban]

Sob, no, that really means a lot--I am personally having a blast with all of this, but I don't want it to wear out its welcome before we're done with everything we have planned. Some of our Silent Hill stuff we've been discussing has me so excited. :(b And actually the fact that people who aren't participating are still enjoying it means a lot. ;o;b SO THANK YOU, SERIOUSLY uwahhhh. ♥

[perrito]

ILU JUAN ♥

[nekokoban]

I SHOULD HOPE SO

MOST OF MY EFFORTS ARE YOUR FAULT ;^;

[maudite-a-deux.livejournal.com]

Well, I moved to Austin more than two years ago, and I still feel like I'm just visiting. And I know it's supposed to be a cool place and all, but honestly, I just don't like it that much. The food's good, the people are nice, but... it's just not my place.

I want to go back to San Francisco, even if the rent *is* three times as much. Which is ironic, because most of the time I was there, I complained about it. Now I just wish I hadn't left.

[nekokoban]

[nods] I lived in Austin for ... man. Fifteen years if not more, and I always felt comfortably at home there, but it's nothing compared to how much I feel like Seattle is much more of my city than anything else. Rent's higher here, too, but not painfully so--I just like it here so much better, in the end.

I hope you'll get back to your city, someday! It feels much better to be a place that feels like yours, I think.

[paralinguistic.livejournal.com]

WHILE OBVIOUSLY THE CFUW GAME IS LIKE, OPPOSITE OF RIGHT TIME OF DAY FOR ME, I HAVE BEEN PEEKING AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING and damn you're good. ♥ KEEP UP THE AWESOME FRIGHT FACTORRR

and all that

sry i'm tired