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Cross-linked from the blog, simply because the one thing I don't like better about Movable-Type is how the cut-function works. <3;;; And hell, I might as well make SOME use of it, and therefore I'll just save THAT MUCH MORE ROOM! <3
So,
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Okay, so I've decided that the less I sleep, the more vividly I dream, because like I've said before--I NEVER remember my dreams. Or, at least, I used to never--now, it seems I've had a number of dreams I've actually remembered in the past two months. >_>;; Including the past night, where I had the BadYaoiFanfic!dream. :D;;;;;
Now, when I say "bad yaoi fanfic," I don't mean there was a lot of smut--I mean that the plot was so horribly contrived and cliche and omgwtf that when I woke up, both mornings, I couldn't believe I had such perfect Harlequin Romance Novel fodder knocking around in my brain. o___o Sheesh, why can't I have vivid dreams that expand the plot of my NaNoWriMo piece, and not some stupid GetBackers fic I shall never write? XD;; (And when I say vivid, I mean vivid--right down to clearly seeing the animation and hearing the voices; it was kind of like watching an episode. GetBackers: the secret yaoi episode!!--or not, because it depends on your point of view, doesn't it? XD)
So, anyway, as I won't ever WRITE the fic, I'll just summarize the terrible plot, and let everyone laugh at how messed up my brain apparently comes when I don't get enough sleep. :D
First of all, it started out as Ban/Himiko. O__________O;;;;;;;; I felt as though I'd betrayed myself, or something. [laughs] The details of WHY escape me, but Himiko confesses her feelings--it seemed to me that the whole thing with Yamato and the Voodoo Children had been worked out, so she was living as a free woman, no curse hanging over her head and her vengeful heart set to rest. (*snrk* I am so melodramatic!) Anyway, so she confesses to Ban, who on his part is feeling so very relieved that he WON'T have to kill Yamato's little sister and thus one of his only true friends remaining, lets himself be pulled along.
Unfortunately, it was very clear he did it out of his own free will, and thus there was a fade to black. (My brain may break me every other way, but it will not show me hetsmut for a pairing I don't like! Go me! XD;;;)
Next, there's a cut to obviously hours later, and Ban can't sleep; he's sitting up and staring pensively at the wall, and he's got an unlit cigarette in his mouth, and the blankets are pooled around his waist. For some reason, Himiko's room has one gigantic window that faces up over the city skyline, and despite all the bright lights you can see the huge full moon with utter clarity. Suddenly, there's knocking at the front door; Himiko turns over but doesn't wake up, and Ban looks at her, then, in one of his Secretly I'm A Nice Guy moments, *he* gets up, pulls on his pants (>______>;;;;) and goes to the door--
--which he opens on Ginji.
Ban, of course, is OMGWTF GINJI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! O_____O A bit spazzing and worried, because it's, uh, kind of obvious what he's just done. And for a moment Ginji just staaaaares at him, expression completely blank, then breaks into a wide happyhappy grin. You know the sort--the ones that are so very happy and don't mean a damn thing? And naturally, Ban sees right through it, but before he can say anything, Ginji's all, "well, it got really late and I was worried because Ban-chan never came back, so I went looking for you! And then I looked and looked and couldn't find you anywhere, so I thought maybe Himiko-chan knew where Ban-chan was! So I came here, and here you are! :D :D :D"
Ban: Ginjiiiii-- >______> (I can explain, really, I can)--
But Ginji just goes on, since it seems Ban-chan and Himiko-chan were coughcough busy, he'll just leave them alone, okay? Um, he'll just wait and see Ban-chan in the morning at the Honky Tonk, but--ah, wait, if Ban-chan and Himiko-chan have finally had their serious talk, they'll want to be alone tomorrow, right? Then Ginji will talk with Hevn-san, make sure she doesn't give them any jobs for a while. Unless ...
When Ginji trails off, Ban's just ">_________> Oi, damnit, what now?" And Ginji says, very quietly, that maybe Ban-chan wants to go back to working with Himiko-chan as a transporter, since obviously if they're a new lovelove couple, they'll want to be together a lot, right? So, uh, in that case, I guess I'll just see you around, Ban-chan, and, uh--and then he shoves something hard at Ban, apologizes again, then turns and just walks away. During this whole time, Ban's just getting progressively angrier, because WTF is the idiot talking about, what's he doing jumping to conclusions like that?! >_____> And he takes a step after Ginji, then pauses to look down at what's in his hand.
It's the key to the car--in the dream, I got the impression that Ban had left them with Ginji before going off to talk with Himiko or whatever, and that Ginji had been driving around while looking for Ban. Of course, this means that there's no way Ginji can get back into the car, even to sleep, and Ban just sort of freezes, staring at his hand like he's just murdered his best friend again. He walks forward, to the stairs, and when he looks down he sees that Ginji's running off down the street--even if he yelled, Ban's voice wouldn't reach. So he goes back to bed, and Himiko wakes up a bit when he goes back into bed, murmuring what's wrong?
And Ban, looking at the key in his hand, tells her that it's nothing, he'll take care of it, go back to sleep. But he spends the entire night staring at it, never moving.
Cut to the next morning, when Ban bursts into the Honky Tonk furious and yelling, but Ginji's not there. Natsumi and Paul both say they haven't seen him since he left with the car the night before. So we end up following Ban on his search--he checks with Shido, and Kazuki, and everywhere; by evening, he even whips out the cell phone to call MakubeX, but none of them have seen Ginji at all. So, dejected, Ban goes back to Himiko's apartment and spends another sleepless night staring at walls.
Then, for some reason, a job comes up for Himiko that she can't do by herself, so she asks Ban for help. And in spite of his worry for Ginji, Yamato's promise still has a huge hold on Ban, so he agrees to be her backup. They go off, and suddenly the details become sketchy. [snorts] All I know was that it was a big job that took them two weeks, and paid a lot, and they were very successful. When they come back to the Honky Tonk, happy about their success, the first thing that happens is Shido popping right up and smashing his fist into Ban's face. O_o;;;; While Ban staggers, Shido begins bellowing about where the hell is Ginji, what the fuck have you done with him, you stupid snake-bastard, and Shido's THIS close to trying to rip Ban apart with his bare hands, but is restrained by Kazuki and Emishi at the last second.
Seeing how confused Ban is, Kazuki explains that NO ONE has seen Ginji in the two weeks Ban's been gone--after he left Himiko's apartment, it's like he simply vanished into thin air. Not even the new VOLTS under MakubeX have seen him, nor any of Shido's animals. You can clearly see the oh, holy fuck expression that passes over Ban's face and lingers there; there's enough shock to calm even Shido's bloodlust a little. They decide to form a search party to look for him, and set off.
CUT, suddenly, to Ginji's p.o.v. o_____O; It's hard to describe, but suddenly all the images snapped out to black, and his voice was reciting lines in my head. "I've always been selfish before, relying on everyone, but I'm beginning to understand it now ... Shido has Madoka-chan, Kazu-chan has Juubei ... now Ban-chan and Himiko-chan are together. There's no more need for me. My final place has disappeared. I wonder ... I wonder if there's anywhere else I could stay, now ... ?"
Then, over the sound of his mumbling, there's another voice: "Ginji-kun? You need to drink. You'll feel better if you do."
Ginji: "Ah, but ... it's lonely, it's cold and dark. I spent too long trying to warm myself at borrowed fires. So I'm being punished for trying to take what wasn't mine."
(As an aside: HOLY HELL GIN-CHAN, how did you become so depressed in my head?! T___________T;;;;)
At this point, the darkness fades out and we see Ginji's lying on a bed in a rather posh, fancy-looking bedroom ... and there's Akabane, sitting at his bedside. O____O!! 'Bane-san has his AND HIS JACKET off, though he's still wearing a crisp white button-down shirt and a tie. He looks almost worried, because his eyebrows are drawn together juuuuuust so. There's a wet cloth over Ginji's forehead, and Akabane's holding what looks like a teacup. There's a sudden pan-in closeup of his eyes, and they're narrow and Very Unimpressed.
Return to the Honky Tonk; it's night and everyone's trailed back, looking distinctly dejected and worried. Ban's sitting at his normal spot at the counter, and a crumpled, empty pack of cigarettes are by his elbow, next to an ashtray full of cigarette butts; there's still a cloud of smoke hanging around him. The spot next to Ban--where Ginji normally sits--is prominently empty, and Himiko is off in the corner, looking pale and shell-shocked; I got the impression she tried to sit there earlier to try and comfort Ban, and he just sort of flung her off the stool and snarled something incoherent before going back to brooding over his smoke. And even though Hevn (yeah, somehow she appeared there, too ._.;;) makes some kind of pithy annoyed comment about treating girls badly, you can hear that her heart's not really in it.
When the door opens, every single head SNAPS around, even Paul's. There's Bane-san in the doorway, coat and hat and solemn expression; he ignores the bristling and the snarling on all sides as he goes to the counter and sits down, one seat down from Ban's. He orders black tea, brooding over it, like he's in his own little world. After a while, Ban gets too antsy to keep sitting there with Akabane like it means nothing, and he pops to his feet, snarling all sorts of accusations, anger and terror and desperation making him look and sound just downright scary. o_________o;;; (Chirachirarararara and I always felt Ban would be terrifying if he had the proper motivation--I'm telling you now, it was DAMN scary in my dream.)
Naturally, though, Akabane-san is neither impressed nor intimidated. He just sips his tea and says, that, in fact, he HAS seen Ginji-kun, but no, he's not particularly interested in giving Midou-kun any of the details; certainly, he's got his own things to worry about, yes? After all, Himiko-san seems quite upset over there in the corner. This, unfortunately, goes RIGHT over Ban's head, so he ends up just digging his grave deeper by slamming a fist into the counter (snapping it, erk) and going WTF YOU UNDEAD BASTARD WHERE THE FUCK IS GINJI >:E >:E >:E >:E!!
Akabane says that if he's really so worried about this precious partner of his, then Midou-kun will have to rely on his own instincts to find him. He pays for his coffee and leaves, with Ban standing there still very much >:E >:E >:E and Himiko being shellshocked and rather depressed in the corner. (In spite of my omgwtf reaction to the Ban/Himiko part at the beginning of my dream, I really felt rather sorry for her at this point. At this point, Ban's not put any of the connecting pieces together, but Himiko's quite figured it out. ._.)
Uh, at this point, things got fuzzy again. :D;;;; Maybe they went to another commercial break or something--I certainly don't know. XD; But somewhere, somehow, they manage to track Akabane to his apartment, and at first Kazuki's all advising caution and stuff--blah blah blah, it's REALLY FARKING STUPID to go barging into Doctor Jackal's home, you realize this, yes?--but then Ban hears Ginji's voice, in that unique sonar hearing-way of his, and off he ZOOOOOOMS. Breaks the door down with a good old-fashioned kick and bursts through, in a straight beeline for the bedroom, and there's Akabane, sitting there, trying to calm Ginji, who's having a nightmare of some sort. Ban just kind of shoves Akabane aside without thinking and grabs Ginji's hand, yelling at him, but that only makes the unconscious Ginji flinch back. T_____T
Ginji: "Ban-chan always hears me if I call ... but right now, he's busy with Himiko-chan. I can't disturb that."
(Actually, I take it back--Ginji, when the hell did you become a shoujo heroine in my head, and how the hell do I make you STOP? >_____>;;)
That's, uh, when I woke up. O_o;;; Which actually rather sucks, since I kind of want to know what happened next. XD;; But I seriously think I'm either not getting enough sleep AT ALL, or my brain's been more warped by Talking To Certain People a bit too often. [laughs] It's a plot I'd be way too embarrassed to actually WRITE, as a cohesive attempt at a story--but as a REALLY BLOODY LONG anecdote relating what I dreamed, it's entertaining enough, I guess. <3;;
*************
And, Sakki, I have some Onitsuka Chihiro songs upped for you in my trading folder, have at it. <3 Those are the ones I've got, but if you're interested in more, I can probably finagle 'em out. :D
So,
*************
Okay, so I've decided that the less I sleep, the more vividly I dream, because like I've said before--I NEVER remember my dreams. Or, at least, I used to never--now, it seems I've had a number of dreams I've actually remembered in the past two months. >_>;; Including the past night, where I had the BadYaoiFanfic!dream. :D;;;;;
Now, when I say "bad yaoi fanfic," I don't mean there was a lot of smut--I mean that the plot was so horribly contrived and cliche and omgwtf that when I woke up, both mornings, I couldn't believe I had such perfect Harlequin Romance Novel fodder knocking around in my brain. o___o Sheesh, why can't I have vivid dreams that expand the plot of my NaNoWriMo piece, and not some stupid GetBackers fic I shall never write? XD;; (And when I say vivid, I mean vivid--right down to clearly seeing the animation and hearing the voices; it was kind of like watching an episode. GetBackers: the secret yaoi episode!!--or not, because it depends on your point of view, doesn't it? XD)
So, anyway, as I won't ever WRITE the fic, I'll just summarize the terrible plot, and let everyone laugh at how messed up my brain apparently comes when I don't get enough sleep. :D
First of all, it started out as Ban/Himiko. O__________O;;;;;;;; I felt as though I'd betrayed myself, or something. [laughs] The details of WHY escape me, but Himiko confesses her feelings--it seemed to me that the whole thing with Yamato and the Voodoo Children had been worked out, so she was living as a free woman, no curse hanging over her head and her vengeful heart set to rest. (*snrk* I am so melodramatic!) Anyway, so she confesses to Ban, who on his part is feeling so very relieved that he WON'T have to kill Yamato's little sister and thus one of his only true friends remaining, lets himself be pulled along.
Unfortunately, it was very clear he did it out of his own free will, and thus there was a fade to black. (My brain may break me every other way, but it will not show me hetsmut for a pairing I don't like! Go me! XD;;;)
Next, there's a cut to obviously hours later, and Ban can't sleep; he's sitting up and staring pensively at the wall, and he's got an unlit cigarette in his mouth, and the blankets are pooled around his waist. For some reason, Himiko's room has one gigantic window that faces up over the city skyline, and despite all the bright lights you can see the huge full moon with utter clarity. Suddenly, there's knocking at the front door; Himiko turns over but doesn't wake up, and Ban looks at her, then, in one of his Secretly I'm A Nice Guy moments, *he* gets up, pulls on his pants (>______>;;;;) and goes to the door--
--which he opens on Ginji.
Ban, of course, is OMGWTF GINJI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! O_____O A bit spazzing and worried, because it's, uh, kind of obvious what he's just done. And for a moment Ginji just staaaaares at him, expression completely blank, then breaks into a wide happyhappy grin. You know the sort--the ones that are so very happy and don't mean a damn thing? And naturally, Ban sees right through it, but before he can say anything, Ginji's all, "well, it got really late and I was worried because Ban-chan never came back, so I went looking for you! And then I looked and looked and couldn't find you anywhere, so I thought maybe Himiko-chan knew where Ban-chan was! So I came here, and here you are! :D :D :D"
Ban: Ginjiiiii-- >______> (I can explain, really, I can)--
But Ginji just goes on, since it seems Ban-chan and Himiko-chan were coughcough busy, he'll just leave them alone, okay? Um, he'll just wait and see Ban-chan in the morning at the Honky Tonk, but--ah, wait, if Ban-chan and Himiko-chan have finally had their serious talk, they'll want to be alone tomorrow, right? Then Ginji will talk with Hevn-san, make sure she doesn't give them any jobs for a while. Unless ...
When Ginji trails off, Ban's just ">_________> Oi, damnit, what now?" And Ginji says, very quietly, that maybe Ban-chan wants to go back to working with Himiko-chan as a transporter, since obviously if they're a new lovelove couple, they'll want to be together a lot, right? So, uh, in that case, I guess I'll just see you around, Ban-chan, and, uh--and then he shoves something hard at Ban, apologizes again, then turns and just walks away. During this whole time, Ban's just getting progressively angrier, because WTF is the idiot talking about, what's he doing jumping to conclusions like that?! >_____> And he takes a step after Ginji, then pauses to look down at what's in his hand.
It's the key to the car--in the dream, I got the impression that Ban had left them with Ginji before going off to talk with Himiko or whatever, and that Ginji had been driving around while looking for Ban. Of course, this means that there's no way Ginji can get back into the car, even to sleep, and Ban just sort of freezes, staring at his hand like he's just murdered his best friend again. He walks forward, to the stairs, and when he looks down he sees that Ginji's running off down the street--even if he yelled, Ban's voice wouldn't reach. So he goes back to bed, and Himiko wakes up a bit when he goes back into bed, murmuring what's wrong?
And Ban, looking at the key in his hand, tells her that it's nothing, he'll take care of it, go back to sleep. But he spends the entire night staring at it, never moving.
Cut to the next morning, when Ban bursts into the Honky Tonk furious and yelling, but Ginji's not there. Natsumi and Paul both say they haven't seen him since he left with the car the night before. So we end up following Ban on his search--he checks with Shido, and Kazuki, and everywhere; by evening, he even whips out the cell phone to call MakubeX, but none of them have seen Ginji at all. So, dejected, Ban goes back to Himiko's apartment and spends another sleepless night staring at walls.
Then, for some reason, a job comes up for Himiko that she can't do by herself, so she asks Ban for help. And in spite of his worry for Ginji, Yamato's promise still has a huge hold on Ban, so he agrees to be her backup. They go off, and suddenly the details become sketchy. [snorts] All I know was that it was a big job that took them two weeks, and paid a lot, and they were very successful. When they come back to the Honky Tonk, happy about their success, the first thing that happens is Shido popping right up and smashing his fist into Ban's face. O_o;;;; While Ban staggers, Shido begins bellowing about where the hell is Ginji, what the fuck have you done with him, you stupid snake-bastard, and Shido's THIS close to trying to rip Ban apart with his bare hands, but is restrained by Kazuki and Emishi at the last second.
Seeing how confused Ban is, Kazuki explains that NO ONE has seen Ginji in the two weeks Ban's been gone--after he left Himiko's apartment, it's like he simply vanished into thin air. Not even the new VOLTS under MakubeX have seen him, nor any of Shido's animals. You can clearly see the oh, holy fuck expression that passes over Ban's face and lingers there; there's enough shock to calm even Shido's bloodlust a little. They decide to form a search party to look for him, and set off.
CUT, suddenly, to Ginji's p.o.v. o_____O; It's hard to describe, but suddenly all the images snapped out to black, and his voice was reciting lines in my head. "I've always been selfish before, relying on everyone, but I'm beginning to understand it now ... Shido has Madoka-chan, Kazu-chan has Juubei ... now Ban-chan and Himiko-chan are together. There's no more need for me. My final place has disappeared. I wonder ... I wonder if there's anywhere else I could stay, now ... ?"
Then, over the sound of his mumbling, there's another voice: "Ginji-kun? You need to drink. You'll feel better if you do."
Ginji: "Ah, but ... it's lonely, it's cold and dark. I spent too long trying to warm myself at borrowed fires. So I'm being punished for trying to take what wasn't mine."
(As an aside: HOLY HELL GIN-CHAN, how did you become so depressed in my head?! T___________T;;;;)
At this point, the darkness fades out and we see Ginji's lying on a bed in a rather posh, fancy-looking bedroom ... and there's Akabane, sitting at his bedside. O____O!! 'Bane-san has his AND HIS JACKET off, though he's still wearing a crisp white button-down shirt and a tie. He looks almost worried, because his eyebrows are drawn together juuuuuust so. There's a wet cloth over Ginji's forehead, and Akabane's holding what looks like a teacup. There's a sudden pan-in closeup of his eyes, and they're narrow and Very Unimpressed.
Return to the Honky Tonk; it's night and everyone's trailed back, looking distinctly dejected and worried. Ban's sitting at his normal spot at the counter, and a crumpled, empty pack of cigarettes are by his elbow, next to an ashtray full of cigarette butts; there's still a cloud of smoke hanging around him. The spot next to Ban--where Ginji normally sits--is prominently empty, and Himiko is off in the corner, looking pale and shell-shocked; I got the impression she tried to sit there earlier to try and comfort Ban, and he just sort of flung her off the stool and snarled something incoherent before going back to brooding over his smoke. And even though Hevn (yeah, somehow she appeared there, too ._.;;) makes some kind of pithy annoyed comment about treating girls badly, you can hear that her heart's not really in it.
When the door opens, every single head SNAPS around, even Paul's. There's Bane-san in the doorway, coat and hat and solemn expression; he ignores the bristling and the snarling on all sides as he goes to the counter and sits down, one seat down from Ban's. He orders black tea, brooding over it, like he's in his own little world. After a while, Ban gets too antsy to keep sitting there with Akabane like it means nothing, and he pops to his feet, snarling all sorts of accusations, anger and terror and desperation making him look and sound just downright scary. o_________o;;; (Chirachirarararara and I always felt Ban would be terrifying if he had the proper motivation--I'm telling you now, it was DAMN scary in my dream.)
Naturally, though, Akabane-san is neither impressed nor intimidated. He just sips his tea and says, that, in fact, he HAS seen Ginji-kun, but no, he's not particularly interested in giving Midou-kun any of the details; certainly, he's got his own things to worry about, yes? After all, Himiko-san seems quite upset over there in the corner. This, unfortunately, goes RIGHT over Ban's head, so he ends up just digging his grave deeper by slamming a fist into the counter (snapping it, erk) and going WTF YOU UNDEAD BASTARD WHERE THE FUCK IS GINJI >:E >:E >:E >:E!!
Akabane says that if he's really so worried about this precious partner of his, then Midou-kun will have to rely on his own instincts to find him. He pays for his coffee and leaves, with Ban standing there still very much >:E >:E >:E and Himiko being shellshocked and rather depressed in the corner. (In spite of my omgwtf reaction to the Ban/Himiko part at the beginning of my dream, I really felt rather sorry for her at this point. At this point, Ban's not put any of the connecting pieces together, but Himiko's quite figured it out. ._.)
Uh, at this point, things got fuzzy again. :D;;;; Maybe they went to another commercial break or something--I certainly don't know. XD; But somewhere, somehow, they manage to track Akabane to his apartment, and at first Kazuki's all advising caution and stuff--blah blah blah, it's REALLY FARKING STUPID to go barging into Doctor Jackal's home, you realize this, yes?--but then Ban hears Ginji's voice, in that unique sonar hearing-way of his, and off he ZOOOOOOMS. Breaks the door down with a good old-fashioned kick and bursts through, in a straight beeline for the bedroom, and there's Akabane, sitting there, trying to calm Ginji, who's having a nightmare of some sort. Ban just kind of shoves Akabane aside without thinking and grabs Ginji's hand, yelling at him, but that only makes the unconscious Ginji flinch back. T_____T
Ginji: "Ban-chan always hears me if I call ... but right now, he's busy with Himiko-chan. I can't disturb that."
(Actually, I take it back--Ginji, when the hell did you become a shoujo heroine in my head, and how the hell do I make you STOP? >_____>;;)
That's, uh, when I woke up. O_o;;; Which actually rather sucks, since I kind of want to know what happened next. XD;; But I seriously think I'm either not getting enough sleep AT ALL, or my brain's been more warped by Talking To Certain People a bit too often. [laughs] It's a plot I'd be way too embarrassed to actually WRITE, as a cohesive attempt at a story--but as a REALLY BLOODY LONG anecdote relating what I dreamed, it's entertaining enough, I guess. <3;;
*************
And, Sakki, I have some Onitsuka Chihiro songs upped for you in my trading folder, have at it. <3 Those are the ones I've got, but if you're interested in more, I can probably finagle 'em out. :D
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