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Because really, I HAVEN'T forgotten about this! I've been picking at outlining how I want the Sequel of Doom to go, and there's some progress! :D
(Though I confess I wrote this mostly becase![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
voodoobob asked me if I ever would again, and it's not that I don't intend to do things, it's just that sometimes, well -- I forget! :B)
My resolution to POST MORE OFTEN is sort of working! Iiiiiii ... hope I can keep this up!
Eight Things
(About learning to live with a heart)
Kingdom Hearts II -- end of game spoilers/speculation
Part of the Alex cornerverse -- Roxas/Alex, SoRiKai OT3
1222 words
+++++
1. It reacts in the weirdest ways
Not that this was particularly a problem even before he lost his heart; if some fat merchant found his purse slit and noticeably lighter and pitched a fit, Alex never lost any sleep over it. It's a little trickier in a relatively small town where everyone seems to know everyone, but he doesn't have any sort of job and it's humiliating, having to live off Sora's pocket money if he wanted a snack. His sleeves are just the right size to smuggle an apple or two, and with the way he sweet-talks the old woman at the fruit stand, even if she noticed he doesn't think she'd protest.
The downside is that sometimes Roxas catches him and -- it's not like Roxas takes any sort of moral high ground, it's just that he's perfected this Look -- the one where he lifts an eyebrow and says without a word, how the mighty have fallen. When allowed to elaborate, it sometimes adds, a king of nobodies, reduced to stealing apples from an old lady; that's real smooth.
It pisses him off, though it doesn't stop him from eating the apples anyway. They don't taste any worse for it, either.
And if he's stopped doing it as often, well, it's not like there's any lack of fruit growing on the island; he doesn't really need the stuff from the old lady's stand anyway.
2. It holds memories like a treasure-box
If he were to be one hundred percent honest, galling as it is, he remembers more than he wants and less than he likes.
He remembers being separated from the others as the first wave of Heartless poured atop them; he remembers their long and cold (cold and long) fingers digging into his chest; he remembers waking up to a cold dawn and a peculiar hollowness that no food or drink could satisfy.
He remembers little details: the ozone stink whenever Larxene was angry, Xigbar's sharp laughter, the first glint of light off Roxas' twin Keyblades. He remembers the exact moment when he decided to die, because existence wasn't really living, and at least this way he could make it mean something.
But when he found his heart again, it came wrapped in a bundle of strange things that weren't his own
(or maybe they were?)
of places he'd never been, faces he'd never seen. Though it beats solidly within his own breast now, a part of it remains cold and still, weighed down things Alex can only recall in faded dreams that fade as soon as he wakes.
3. It's great for using as the butt of jokes
Because sure it's a great and wondrous and touching thing, to have a heart, but just because he's a little more sentimental now doesn't mean he's lost his sense of humor.
4. It's noisy
And if he's entirely honest, sometimes he thinks the gentle rhythmic beat in his ears is the strangest thing of all to get used to.
But every now and then (not very often, or else it'd be sentimental) Roxas will reach out from Sora and put his hand on Alex's chest, holding his palm there for long, quiet minutes before he pulls away.
5. His instincts are not any sharper for it
Once in a (very great) while, he gets to tag along when the King asks Sora and his harem of two for help cleaning up this part of that world from these Heartless.
("You could come more often if you didn't burn everything else down in the process," Roxas tells him once.
Alex rolls his eyes. "What's the fun in that?")
And the thing is, Sora's fighting style is different from Roxas': because Sora fights to win like he's playing a game, but Roxas fights to win like it's the only damn thing there is. He's sparred with Sora enough to know this, but he still makes a wrong step at one point and takes a raking blow down his arm, and that surprises him enough that he doesn't really notice the Heartless behind him till it's practically on top of him, and it's Way to Dawn cutting the thing in two before he can even turn to react.
("Or maybe it's because you nearly got your arm cut off, the one time," Roxas says.
At this Alex flips him off. "I got better," he says. "Roxas, Roxas, I'm still used to fighting with you.")
6. He is not any more sentimental for having it back
Kairi, he has noticed, is not above using feminine charms to lull her boys into a false sense of security; it rarely ends well for them. And in recent months, Sora's gotten a lot sneakier about using big eyes and a fat lower lip to get his way. Riku just has to look vaguely troubled to have them both fawning over him.
He sees all three of a semi-regular rotating basis. Riku's funny in small doses (especially if he starts monologuing in the process) but irritating in larger quantities; Sora is cute though Alex has seen professionals hit harder with less. Kairi has some potential to be truly sneaky, only she's just a little too good to live up to that potential.
Maybe there's something different about a "heart with no darkness in it," though Alex isn't entirely sure he buys it.
And sometimes Roxas leans his shoulder against Alex's own and mutters a few things about how -- shadows are fading in one world but growing in another, how small bands of Nobodies have clumped together, lacking leadership and drive, and how sometimes even Sora's unending determination quakes a little at the thought of how much more there will always be to do.
Times like this, Alex never says what's actually on his mind, which is usually along the lines of: sucks to be them, it's not his problem (it never was his problem), he's retired and enjoying his tropical vacation.
So maybe the heart didn't do much for sentimentality, but at least it helped a little for tact.
7. A lot of the mythologies surrounding it are bullshit
Maybe it's just him, though -- maybe somewhere across all those worlds, there are other people who snatched their hearts back from the kingdom's collection, and maybe those people are living it up, happy as idiots because there's a thump in their chests again. Maybe they hear a sweet voice that guides them to do good things, maybe they simply know things when the mysterious time comes.
Maybe there's more to it than the simple strange intensity of feeling again.
But even if they have, Alex is an actor, and he puts his own spin on everything. It's what he does.
So he's not sure he gets it, and isn't sure he ever will.
8. ... But in the end, he refuses to give it up again
Because he can stand with his toes buried in hot sand and watch Kairi and Sora tag-team Riku into the water, and later Roxas might buy ice cream for them both without saying a word, and once in a while he even catches sight of the witch, pale and glowing and smiling a little at nothing at all, really--
And he thinks really, it's all not so bad after all.
(Though I confess I wrote this mostly becase
voodoobob asked me if I ever would again, and it's not that I don't intend to do things, it's just that sometimes, well -- I forget! :B)My resolution to POST MORE OFTEN is sort of working! Iiiiiii ... hope I can keep this up!
Eight Things
(About learning to live with a heart)
Kingdom Hearts II -- end of game spoilers/speculation
Part of the Alex cornerverse -- Roxas/Alex, SoRiKai OT3
1222 words
+++++
1. It reacts in the weirdest ways
Not that this was particularly a problem even before he lost his heart; if some fat merchant found his purse slit and noticeably lighter and pitched a fit, Alex never lost any sleep over it. It's a little trickier in a relatively small town where everyone seems to know everyone, but he doesn't have any sort of job and it's humiliating, having to live off Sora's pocket money if he wanted a snack. His sleeves are just the right size to smuggle an apple or two, and with the way he sweet-talks the old woman at the fruit stand, even if she noticed he doesn't think she'd protest.
The downside is that sometimes Roxas catches him and -- it's not like Roxas takes any sort of moral high ground, it's just that he's perfected this Look -- the one where he lifts an eyebrow and says without a word, how the mighty have fallen. When allowed to elaborate, it sometimes adds, a king of nobodies, reduced to stealing apples from an old lady; that's real smooth.
It pisses him off, though it doesn't stop him from eating the apples anyway. They don't taste any worse for it, either.
And if he's stopped doing it as often, well, it's not like there's any lack of fruit growing on the island; he doesn't really need the stuff from the old lady's stand anyway.
2. It holds memories like a treasure-box
If he were to be one hundred percent honest, galling as it is, he remembers more than he wants and less than he likes.
He remembers being separated from the others as the first wave of Heartless poured atop them; he remembers their long and cold (cold and long) fingers digging into his chest; he remembers waking up to a cold dawn and a peculiar hollowness that no food or drink could satisfy.
He remembers little details: the ozone stink whenever Larxene was angry, Xigbar's sharp laughter, the first glint of light off Roxas' twin Keyblades. He remembers the exact moment when he decided to die, because existence wasn't really living, and at least this way he could make it mean something.
But when he found his heart again, it came wrapped in a bundle of strange things that weren't his own
(or maybe they were?)
of places he'd never been, faces he'd never seen. Though it beats solidly within his own breast now, a part of it remains cold and still, weighed down things Alex can only recall in faded dreams that fade as soon as he wakes.
3. It's great for using as the butt of jokes
Because sure it's a great and wondrous and touching thing, to have a heart, but just because he's a little more sentimental now doesn't mean he's lost his sense of humor.
4. It's noisy
And if he's entirely honest, sometimes he thinks the gentle rhythmic beat in his ears is the strangest thing of all to get used to.
But every now and then (not very often, or else it'd be sentimental) Roxas will reach out from Sora and put his hand on Alex's chest, holding his palm there for long, quiet minutes before he pulls away.
5. His instincts are not any sharper for it
Once in a (very great) while, he gets to tag along when the King asks Sora and his harem of two for help cleaning up this part of that world from these Heartless.
("You could come more often if you didn't burn everything else down in the process," Roxas tells him once.
Alex rolls his eyes. "What's the fun in that?")
And the thing is, Sora's fighting style is different from Roxas': because Sora fights to win like he's playing a game, but Roxas fights to win like it's the only damn thing there is. He's sparred with Sora enough to know this, but he still makes a wrong step at one point and takes a raking blow down his arm, and that surprises him enough that he doesn't really notice the Heartless behind him till it's practically on top of him, and it's Way to Dawn cutting the thing in two before he can even turn to react.
("Or maybe it's because you nearly got your arm cut off, the one time," Roxas says.
At this Alex flips him off. "I got better," he says. "Roxas, Roxas, I'm still used to fighting with you.")
6. He is not any more sentimental for having it back
Kairi, he has noticed, is not above using feminine charms to lull her boys into a false sense of security; it rarely ends well for them. And in recent months, Sora's gotten a lot sneakier about using big eyes and a fat lower lip to get his way. Riku just has to look vaguely troubled to have them both fawning over him.
He sees all three of a semi-regular rotating basis. Riku's funny in small doses (especially if he starts monologuing in the process) but irritating in larger quantities; Sora is cute though Alex has seen professionals hit harder with less. Kairi has some potential to be truly sneaky, only she's just a little too good to live up to that potential.
Maybe there's something different about a "heart with no darkness in it," though Alex isn't entirely sure he buys it.
And sometimes Roxas leans his shoulder against Alex's own and mutters a few things about how -- shadows are fading in one world but growing in another, how small bands of Nobodies have clumped together, lacking leadership and drive, and how sometimes even Sora's unending determination quakes a little at the thought of how much more there will always be to do.
Times like this, Alex never says what's actually on his mind, which is usually along the lines of: sucks to be them, it's not his problem (it never was his problem), he's retired and enjoying his tropical vacation.
So maybe the heart didn't do much for sentimentality, but at least it helped a little for tact.
7. A lot of the mythologies surrounding it are bullshit
Maybe it's just him, though -- maybe somewhere across all those worlds, there are other people who snatched their hearts back from the kingdom's collection, and maybe those people are living it up, happy as idiots because there's a thump in their chests again. Maybe they hear a sweet voice that guides them to do good things, maybe they simply know things when the mysterious time comes.
Maybe there's more to it than the simple strange intensity of feeling again.
But even if they have, Alex is an actor, and he puts his own spin on everything. It's what he does.
So he's not sure he gets it, and isn't sure he ever will.
8. ... But in the end, he refuses to give it up again
Because he can stand with his toes buried in hot sand and watch Kairi and Sora tag-team Riku into the water, and later Roxas might buy ice cream for them both without saying a word, and once in a while he even catches sight of the witch, pale and glowing and smiling a little at nothing at all, really--
And he thinks really, it's all not so bad after all.
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From:
no subject
Saa~ I can't help thinking, at the end of the fic, that another thing of having a heart is knowing how to be in denial too.
XDXD
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I think you're rather correct -- and I suspect that denial thing is easier to write off, what with the "this isn't happening" aspect of it and all. XD
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And I'd never even thought about what Alex might remember from being a Heartless. I find that absolutely awesome. Also, this made me laugh: Times like this, Alex never says what's actually on his mind, which is usually along the lines of: sucks to be them, it's not his problem (it never was his problem), he's retired and enjoying his tropical vacation.
So maybe the heart didn't do much for sentimentality, but at least it helped a little for tact.
Oh Alex. Never change. And as always, I love the little compares and contrasts between Axel and Alex.
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And I'm glad that the whole Alex/Axel dynamic still works, that they're the same guy and not at the same time♥ Thank you for reading! :D
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p.s. Icon=cute can I gank please? *puppy eyes*
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The icon is by
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And hearts semicolon.
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♥
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Firstly I absolutely ADORE the idea of Axel revival in cannonverse instead of reincarnation because frankly its devastatingly unfair to Roxas and Axel to wait out a lifetime before they can be together again after all they've been through. The fact that you can maintain that relationship AND throw in a complicated OT3 yet come out so PERFECTLY fitted (despite the fact that Riku is sometimes jealous). I love the fact that the fic is not so perfect that it is removed from reality, hinting some forebooding darkness with the re-appearing heartless (which pleasepleaseplease more please) and some disturbance in the tangle of relationships.
I totally worship your characterization because you've kept them faithfully cannon. I can really picture Axel's (Sorry, I can't get used to calling him Alex) sadonic/sarcastic/oh-so-very-him dialogue (in his japanese seiyuu tones of course), Roxas reluctant expressions, Sora's exbuerant personality which titled him keyblade master, Riku's sometimes insecurities and self-repenting attitude, Kairi's unfailing support and her mischievous and sometimes manipulating side which somehow acts as a meditator and IMPORTANT in OT3 relationship. (especially how you've portrayed kairi who is NOT a whiny bitch so many authors like to write her as) Even Namine's occasional appearance to give thoughtful wise advise or comments strenghened her/their character as a princess of hearts, lover, sometimes sister, advisor etc.
Sorry if I rambled a bit there and sorry if I can't give accurate discriptions of my perceptions of your character (writing was never my strong point and the fact that I normally dont give much reviews especially LONG ones) Your sheer brilliance scrambled what's left of my brain.
PLEASE keep continuing this verse. I can't express enough love for this almost-perfect life.
Shutting up now
From:
no subject
I'm really glad I've been able to balance the OT3 and the Roxas/"Alex" relationship; the big thing I wanted, I think I mentioned before, was being able to balance the two as well as the plot that I was slowly introducing with everything. I'm sort of sad to hear that Kairi gets written as a whiny bitch -- I don't think of her that way at all; she's just as important to Sora and Riku as they are to each other, so I don't think I could write pairings within them without the third involved.
I really would like to continue the Alexverse soon -- the big problem is that I don't actually own a copy of KH2; when I played, it belonged to an ex-roommate who's currently in Japan now. XD; I'd like to replay before I actually tackle the sequel that I've got in mind -- and so I can make sure the certain things I want to use are, in fact, not just in my head. ;)
But thank you so much for all your kind words! It seriously is so very nice to hear. It also encourages me like nothing else to know people are still reading and enjoying the Alexverse -- these sorts of things really make me want to continue this series. :) And I promise I will! I have some other projects taking priority right now (first and foremost my NaNo), but I haven't forgotten the Alexverse, and I will get back to it soon♥
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And seriously, thank you SO MUCH for reading this series; it really means a lot to know people are still enjoying it. :)
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This is very true, but it's why we love him. :)
I love your tone, by the way.