[FIC][FMA] Housewarming [Roy/Ed] -- cowrite with harukami

[nekokoban]

Right, so. XD As of this summer, I've been doing a whole helluva lot of cowriting with the lovely and talented harukami (don't listen to anything she says, she's awesome ♥) -- this is only one of many, but it's the first we've finally gotten FINISHED AND POSTED YEI.

... it's also really long, so you folks will have to make do with an off-LJ link. XD Meep.

Anyway! Yoinking summarystuff from Haru, now. XD

Housewarming
Fullmetal Alchemist
Roy/Ed, NC-17
So not our characters. We only wish.
In which Roy and Ed rather reluctantly attend a State Alchemist ball, and after, return to a place which isn't quite 'home'.

Fic link: "Housewarming"

Comments

[anax.livejournal.com]

Wheee, smut! Smut with a plot! Just what I needed to restore my faith in humanity. :)

You two write more like this, this was great. :)

[nekokoban]

WAHA. ♥ It's good to be on the "restoring faith" side, instead of the breaking. XD

Thanks, and we're glad you like it~~~ :D :D :D

(And, uh, yeah. There is more to come, eventually -- it's all a matter of editing and piecing stuff together from the cowrite conversations. ♥)

[sarashina-nikki.livejournal.com]

<3<3<3<3

This is really great. I love this a lot. It's so-- real. The total awkwardness of _knowing_ you're going to have sex, but still being afraid. Waking up in someone else's bed for the first time. The morning after conversation.

I love this morning after conversation. And toast and jam jars and KEYS.

And I love the last line.

This is wonderful. You're both very talented. (and I'm glad it's the first of many because I want to read mooore...)

[nekokoban]

[meeps happily]

Wah, thank you so very much! :D :D It's terribly gratifying to know our first officially-posted cowrite has been an entertainment to our readers. ♥♥♥♥ And yes, even though I'm one of the writers and shouldn't really admit bias, I'm terribly fond of how the morning-after conversation worked out. ^_~

Thank you very much for commenting! We're glad you enjoyed reading. ♥♥♥

[daisysparrow.livejournal.com]

I'm speechless. You guys are so cool. Thank you both so much for writing this wonderful story. You've just made my day. ^^

[nekokoban]

Heeeee♥ Thank YOU for letting us know you enjoyed the story. :D We're glad you liked it♥♥♥

(And, uh, unrelated -- OMG YOU ICON. Young!Gokuu love. XD XD XD)

[daisysparrow.livejournal.com]

hehehe...isn't Goku just adorable... ^__^

[coloredink.livejournal.com]

. . . yeah, what everyone else said. The plot and the realness and Al's smugness and the fear/anticipation/awkwardness, and--and--and-

**prints**

[nekokoban]

Eeeeee♥♥♥♥ We get printage, we get printage! ♥♥

We're very glad you enjoyed this. ♥♥ Thank you for reading, and taking the time to comment♥♥♥♥

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

I really liked this story. There was enough build-up with the relationship that I didn't think the smut was just thrown in there for the sake of having smut. And Roy and Ed verbally dancing around each other the morning after... it's so like them its sad.

I also found two errors.

"His entire body was tingling now, restlessness gathered in the bit of his belly..." <- I think bit of his belly is supposed to be pit

"He started to shift his weight, then winced as the low-grade ache and stiffness intensified in a shot, unpleasant and unexpected." <- Should shot be spot? I'm not sure it reads very well if it's not an error...

[harukami]

If I could comment - it's meant to be 'shot'. If we said 'in a spot', that'd mean 'in a small specific location', and as we know where it is, that'd be redundant. 'in a shot' is a very common english turn of phrase meaning 'suddenly, inexpectedly, and dramatically', usually with overtones of both speed and pain. Ie, like a gunshot. It's really common and makes way, way more sense than 'in a spot', sorry. *wg*

Thank you for your comments, though!

[harukami]

I realize a little belatedly that my reply was a bit brusque -- sorry about that. Just got downstairs and onto my computer after a family crisis and I meant for that to be explanitory but grateful. I'm afraid it didn't come out that way, so -- sorry. RL stress just making me tense. :) I do very much appreciate your enjoyment of it, and taking the time to try to find something to improve.

[tsaiko.livejournal.com]

That's okay. I know all about family stress and I understand.

After you explained about the shot part and I went back and reread the scene a few times, I finally saw how it fit. I was just slow on the uptake. I'm glad I could find the actual error because I know how annoying it is to reread something a few months later and realize that no one pointed out a typo. ^_^

[nekokoban]

Nyahahahaha, errors. XD; Haru already mentioned the second one, but the first was certainly a typo, and has been fixed. XD Thanks for pointing this out! :D

That aside, glad you enjoyed the story regardless. ♥♥ Especially the bit about the smut fitting in without being extraneous, phew. XD

Thank you again, for pointing out the mistake and commenting. :D :D :D

[vikki.livejournal.com]

That is, without question, the very best first time fic I have ever, EVER read. Very true to the characters, and touching, and ... shit. It was Good.

I'd promise more coherent comments in the future, but that would be bullshit. XD;;

~~Vikki

[nekokoban]

Awwwww♥♥

Thank you so much. :D :D :D That's wonderfully flattering, and we're glad you enjoyed it~~~~

(Coherent comments = overrated, man. As long as you share the love all 'round, I'd say it's good. ^_~)

[shuki-ai.livejournal.com]

You two did an AMAZING job! *__* I LOVED this fic...and it was loooong. ^__^ Wonderful, wonderful job. The dialog and descriptions were great! I can't wait to read more from you two! ^_^

[nekokoban]

Heeeeee♥♥♥ I don't think Haru and I can write a "short" fic -- this is definitely one of the smaller pieces we've worked on. XD

But hey, thank you so much for commenting! We're glad you liked it~ :D

[enishi-sama.livejournal.com]

I read your fic last night, and didn't get around to reviewing it until now. I hafta say, i LOVED it. It was probably my favorite of all yours' and whitecat's Roy/Ed fics because it flowed so well, and it was nice to see the hesistation and tentative relationship forming between Roy and Ed. And I liked that Roy wasn't completely some cold bastard, as he sometimes tends to be in FMA fics written by other people. All in all, I was very impressed!

[enishi-sama.livejournal.com]

ah ha ha ha I MEANT "yours and harukami's" rather than "yours and whitecat's" ^^;; can u tell I'm lazy and just copied and pasted into both of your LJs? ^^;;;

[nekokoban]

*snrks* That's okay, it's the thought that counts? ^_~

We're glad that you enjoyed the fic, seriously. :D It's gratifying to know our readers have liked it. :D (And also, thanks for crossposting the comments; I'm glad, personally, to have the copy to keep. ♥)

A beautiful dance...

[ladyseishou.livejournal.com]

Throughly enjoyed the story... a wonderful parallel between the official party and later, an insightful examination of the dance that two people do coming together... the uncertainties, the fears, the incredible leap of faith that it takes... all captured so wonderfully in your story. The dialog (loved Fullmetal's "potty" mouth), the description (loved the symbolism of Mustang's "empty" house), and the attention to detail (agree that this is one of the best "first times" fiction that I have ever read and I've been around since ST slash days) is simply beautiful. I hope that there will be more to come! Ummm... no pun intended (I think).

Re: A beautiful dance...

[nekokoban]

^____________^ Wow, thank you very much for your kind words. :D We're very glad that we were able to pull off this first-time story to reader satisfaction in the various elements. ♥♥♥

There *will* be more to come in the future, and hopefully we won't disappoint when those come out. :D Thank you again for commenting♥