Funny thing about life is that it keeps on going

[nekokoban]

Oh man, okay, apparently I am just going through one of those dry journal spells (as opposed to my twitter, which pretty much gets the brunt of my everyday little victories and defeats, if you can even call them that), but HAHA! I LIVE! Take THAT, world!

The past month+ has been kind of insane, mostly related to the condo and moving and all the inherent baggage that comes with that. On the other hand, I am pretty happy with the place--my buyer's remorse, such as it is, is pretty minor. I think once I get curtains up (a-and fix the screens, hurff) and more unpacked (I have until the end of August! woo!) and finish the last of the cleaning, it'll get better. For better or worse, I am committed, and I'm not freaking out about it. Just everything else!

MOSTLY, I suspect that it's just been the solid two months' worth of worrying and agonizing and being stressed that has caught up to me, because I feel sort of nervous and paranoid. WHAT IS GOING TO EXPLODE NEXT? AM I GOING TO GET ANOTHER CALL SAYING "WELP, SORRY, XYZABCDEFG HAS GONE WRONG. TURN IN YOUR [insert here] CARD NOW." As a result, I sort of waffle between "ugh I want to be grumpy and :E at EVERYTHING!!" and "ahhh make it go away, I don't want to see it /)_(\"--neither of which are healthy coping mechanisms! I am only dealing well in as much where I have to deal with people who just know me on a professional level; everything else I am sort of thbbbbbbbt.

WHICH IS NOT COOL. So note to self, cut that shit out. Recall your zen and coast with it, not on it. Everything is taken care of on the Major Life Front until September, when rinkhals comes home to me. ♥♥♥ Now is the time to tackle those resolutions I've been mulling over about myself as a social being, most of which got put either on hold or dismissed entirely before the unstoppable force that was Buying My Own Place. Now I don't have that excuse! Time to get cracking.

I want to go back to writing weekly--it's harder now, because my keyboard is doing the sort of sputtery sticking dance of death, and I'm only catching the mistakes about half the time, because I type so damn fast and assume I've done it correctly and only occasionally bother to look back. THEN I POST AND THERE ARE MISTAKES AND BOY IS THERE EGG ON MY FACE. I want to stop worrying about the things I can't change and devote my energies to the things I can. I want to start being more balanced in how I handle my time, and the people I interact with--reconnect with friends I haven't seen in a while, get closer to people I like and admire, but not neglect the folks that I spend time with now.

Also I want to start going to bed earlier, but ugh, not enough hours in the day. Work in progress!

I thought about doing the "i've always wanted to tell you" meme, but I'm not sure I would get anything new about it. I have a good guess at what most of my flaws are that people would nitpick about (though I should reiterate as always, if I have done something to bother/offend you, never hesitate to tell me so), and I've been so borderline reclusive I doubt there's much good to say. :p

I guess if people really have burning things to say, they can use this post. Hello, world.

Comments

[vulchu.livejournal.com]

I HAVE A BURNING NEED. TO TELL YOU.


YOUR CAT IS VERY HANDSOME.

[nekokoban]

HE IS THE HANDSOMEST BOY I KNOW.

[vulchu.livejournal.com]

REGAL TOO, IN FACT. MAYHAPS WE SHOULD MAKE HIM A LITTLE CROWN.

[nekokoban]

... so I have two sets of those too-short Pendragon red curtains.

We could make him a little cape too.

[vulchu.livejournal.com]

a crown AND a cape?

I am so sold on this.

Or perhaps a bandana and pointy hat would be more apropos.

[nekokoban]

He could have BOTH SETS.

[vulchu.livejournal.com]

it'd be the start of his very own KITTY WARDROBE.

[nekokoban]

When Sammy comes, he can have the cape and crown.

[vulchu.livejournal.com]

Samthur, king of TerKatelot?

[nekokoban]

Or at the very least, king of HRR HRR PET ME PET ME.

[vulchu.livejournal.com]

THAT IS A NOBLE AND JUST KINGDOM.

[jpegasus.livejournal.com]

I think we should hang out more :3b
especially this summer, when I wont have any school work looooooming over me unpleasantly

BUT I UNDERSTAND STRESS so I am willing to wait until you are zen~

[nekokoban]

WE SHOULD sob the effort. XD

Working on the zen now. :|b HOPEFULLY I WILL ACHIEVE IT.

[uminohikari.livejournal.com]

W-why can't you get a new keyboard??

[nekokoban]

'Cause I have a laptop. XD So I could, but it would sort of defeat the portability I enjoy having, and since this is the only computer I have, I am super reluctant to take it into the shop. :|a I am saving up for a new one now, though, so hopefully before this one totally dies, I'll be able to switch over. /o/

[uminohikari.livejournal.com]

/o\ Ooh, I use an external keyboard, mouse, and an extra display with my laptop, so uh, I'm not the greatest judge of portability.

[kawaiigami.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Yay for craziness beginning to settle down? Glad at least the major part of the move has gone okay and now settling-in can happen.

My reaction to "many things going one that I need to balance ZOMG this is overwhelming!!!11" is actually to go into turtle mode until I feel like I can take care of them with a cool head. I suppose it's like ducking and covering your head when things start to fall--protect yourself then, and pick up afterward. :/ May not be the best/healthiest coping mechanism, but 'tis my instinctive reaction.

[nekokoban]

For now, at least! I still have to unpack, because I have a roommate coming in at the beginning of August, and I'd like to have MY boxes out of the way before HERS need the space. XD

My family's motto is "put your head down and muddle through," which usually works for me, but right now, I think I am just too frazzled to do more than muddy, rather than muddle. :B

[miss-arel.livejournal.com]

sob, I'm feeling that sort of stress crash myself. YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHIES and I hope you find your zen again soon!

Also, I'd love to see more of you, when you're feeling up to it. :) Today I *should* be getting two fairly obnoxious and distracting monkeys off my back, so henceforth I hope to have more time and energy for socializing! And I have not gotten to hang out with you in ever. And I live so much closer now~!

[nekokoban]

WE'LL BOTH MAKE IT THROUGH SOMEHOW! S-sob oof blargh stress. XD

I should be a lot freer this month than I have in--quite some time, actually. :|a BUT WE SHOULD HANG OUT, you are one of those folks where I'm like "I should really harass her again :B" and since you ARE closer, there's even less excuse than before. PS Have you been to the Yellow Leaf Cupcake Company, it's in Belltown and it is amaaaaazing.

[miss-arel.livejournal.com]

Yays! It's been a long time since we've had any one-on-one time; seems like ever since you moved out, practically, e only see each other at group gatherings. Which is fun! But I like to have personal time with my friends, too. :)

And no, I have not! I have heard of them, though. And I think the coffee shop on my block serves Yellow Leaf cupcakes, but I haven't tried one yet.