nekokoban | [FIC][Kingdom Hearts 2] ...And A Wreath of Flowers His Crown

Um. Because I am sappy like that, let's just say that this is a prequel to The Sound of Memory. I AM A SUCK OKAY.

...And a Wreath of Flowers His Crown
Kingdom Hearts II -- end of game spoilers/speculation (SoRiKai and Axel/Roxas)
3167 words
For those memories you can leave behind, and those you cannot.

+++++

"Let's meet in the next life, okay?"

+++

When Sora dreams, it's either the island throughout the years, childhood and slowly-settling adulthood and the smiles of everyone he's always known -- or it's darkness, come spilling from a madman's fingers or a witch's cloak, until it swallows everything and the last thing he can do before going under is stretch for a star just out of reach.

When Roxas dreams, it's only of fire.

+++

He sat with his elbows on his knees and his feet in the water, kicking slowly and watching the ripples around his ankles. He could feel the beginnings of a sunburn on the back of his neck, but he felt almost rooted in place, like if he tried to stand, he would find himself fused to the old salt-cured wood of the dock.

Footsteps tripped behind him, peculiarly lightweight and arrhythmic, then stopped.

"Roxas," Naminé said.

He shrugged his shoulders, not looking up. She came closer, until he could see her face reflected in the water beside him. It rippled and wavered, but her eyes remained clear.

"You know they're worrying," she said. "This sort of brooding ... it's not really like you."

"It's not like Sora," Roxas muttered, not looking up. "There's a difference. I'm not him. He's not me. We're nothing alike, okay."

"Mn." Naminé continued to stand just at the edge of his vision, her hands clasped before her. Roxas had the sudden, absurd thought that if he looked directly at her, he would be blinded by the sun off her pale hair and white shift; it took longer than he wanted to admit to just turn his head towards her.

The wind caught in her hair, whipping it into an airy halo around her face, and she smiled briefly at him before raising her eyes to the horizon, staring out into the distance. She had her sketchbook tucked under one arm, and as he watched, she pulled it out and opened it, ripping out a single sheet.

"Hey," he said. "Wait, that's --"

She knelt down onto the dock beside him; he twisted to watch her. She laid the sheet out, and Roxas looked down at the person peering back from the page and tried to pretend that the name didn't lodge in his throat. Without looking at him, Naminé began to fold the sheet into a paper airplane, so that the face was eventually folded and distorted, no longer identifiable.

"Naminé?" he asked, when she stood again. "What are you doing?"

"A message," she said as she got to her feet. The damp wood had left black stains on her skinny knees. "It worked once before. Maybe we can do it again."

Roxas half-rose, then stopped as Naminé drew her arm back and sent the paper airplane flying. He could vaguely remember, from Sora's side of things, a dark beach and a message slipped into a bottle, but --

He swallowed. "Do you think it will work?"

Naminé folded her arms behind her back, watching as a breeze caught the airplane abruptly, tossing it high into the air, and then out of sight. "I think," she said, "that if two hearts are looking for the same thing, it would be hard to fail." She turned to him and held out her hand to him. "Let's go back?"

Roxas almost said no, almost turned back to the ocean to see if maybe, just maybe, he could see the person on the other side of that paper airplane's trajectory -- and then he shook his head and grasped her hand, letting her pull him to his feet. He let Sora rise to the forefront as he did, sinking back into the quiet stillness out of the spotlight.

"Huh?" Sora blinked. "Naminé? What's going on?"

Naminé smiled and put a finger to Sora's lips, shushing him. "Riku is waiting," she said, then took his hand and let herself fade as well.

+++

Kairi wakes shivering one night and finds the blankets are gone and there's a cooling spot between her and Riku. She sits up and rubs her eyes before looking around.

He's sitting on the windowsill, one leg hanging outside, his face turned upwards. The moonlight does strange things to the shape of him, so that he looks half-made of shadows. And perhaps he is, so she swallows down the urge to blurt the first name that comes to her lips. She takes the blankets and pulls one back up over Riku's shoulders and wraps the other around her own and crawls out of bed. He must hear her approach, but he does not move, except to bend his leg enough to give her some room to perch.

Outside, it's cold enough that her breath mists. She watches his face like she can maybe find an opening -- but Roxas is someone almost unknown to her, and if he's given a headstart in a conversation, then not even those big blue eyes will give anything away.

"Hey," she says quietly. "Is something wrong?"

Roxas doesn't answer, but she notices his fingers are moving -- he's got a lighter in one hand, turning it slowly over. Occasionally his thumb hovers over the striker, but moves away before depressing it.

The silence stretches out uncomfortably. Kairi works her fingers tighter into the blankets and wishes that she could reach Naminé as easily as Sora seems to with Roxas -- her other is better at handling him, but recently she has been staying silent, forcing Kairi to be the one to talk to him when he makes his appearances in person.

"Roxas," she tries again, hesitantly. He still won't look at her, his eyes tracing the movement of clouds across the moon. "You know, if you want to talk ..."

His thumb moves abruptly, and Kairi's voice cuts off at the sudden spark of flame, orange at the edges and bright blue in the center. It casts his face into sharper relief, and, she thinks, he has never looked less like Sora.

"I'm fine," he tells her, and cuts the flame out. When she blinks, there are ghostly impressions on her eyelids. "You should go back to sleep."

"You should come with me, then," she says. "It's cold, isn't it?"

"I said I'm fine," he repeats, but she can see the goosebumps on his bare arms, and his own breath rises in small cloudy puffs. "I--"

"Roxas," she says, and she manages to get enough of that certain tone of Naminé's that he actually stops and looks at her. "Whatever it is, I mean it, if there's anything Riku or I could do--"

Something shadowed passes through his eyes, but maybe that's just a trick of the moonlight. But then he smiles, not Sora's big boyish grin but something quieter, sweeter, and she suddenly feels like she's found something that was never meant to be shared. He flexes his wrist and palms the lighter so that it's now out of sight. "I know," he says. "... Thanks, Kairi."

Kairi smiles encouragingly at him -- she has the feeling that he's only humoring her now, and that's almost fine, because she knows she's not really supposed to be seeing it anyway -- and holds out her hand. Roxas takes it, his fingers icy against her palm, and lets her pull him back to the bed, where Riku's breathing has changed: he's awake, but he says nothing as the two of them clamber over him, instead waiting and then stretching his arm out, so that his hand is on Kairi's hip and his arm over Roxas' waist.

And for just a moment Roxas goes stiff, but he relaxes again before Kairi can figure out how to ask him; she presses closer to him hopefully and feels him exhale shakily against her cheek before suddenly it's Sora in her arms again, snoring faintly and absolutely unaware that he's been anywhere else. She lifts her head enough to peer at Riku through the darkness; his eyes are half-closed and solemn.

She opens her mouth to say something, and Riku shakes his head. Tomorrow, he mouths at her. He squeezes her hip, and finally Kairi settles back onto her pillow, and spends long hours watching Sora's sleeping face before she is able to fall asleep again herself.

+++

"Silly, just because you have a 'next life'--"

+++

"I'm not interested in talking," Roxas said, to the person who'd come up behind him.

"Fine by me," Riku said. There was a metallic clink and Roxas froze as the tip of Way to Dawn rested itself on his shoulder. "Let's not talk, then."

Roxas remained frozen, staring out at the ocean. "You know," he said, "I kicked your ass before."

"I could say the same." Riku's hand and voice were both steady. "Come on, it's been a while, hasn't it? You afraid you've gotten too rusty to keep up?" Very gently, the flat of Way to Dawn's blade tapped Roxas' cheek.

"You know," Roxas said, burying his hands briefly into the sand, and then summoning Oathkeeper and Oblivion, "sometimes you really piss me off."

He launched himself forward into a roll, coming up in time to block the downward swing with both crossed Keyblades. Riku leaned over him, smirking a little.

"It's all right," he said. "The feeling's mutual."

Roxas lunged forward a little to break the moment, cursing briefly when his feet slipped on the loose sand, and he took a brief mean pleasure in the fact that Riku also stumbled a few times before regaining his balance.

They circled each other, pacing warily as beasts.

And then Riku lunged again, so that they met and parried several times before falling back. Something about his expression irritated Roxas the longer he looked at it, and he was somewhat aware that it was making him careless, his swings wider and sloppier than usual.

"What are you doing?" Roxas demanded, as they broke to circle again. "Are you trying to make a point?"

"Something like that," Riku agreed, deadpan, then attacked again, fierce enough to drive Roxas back, both of them slipping in the sand. From the corner of one eye, Roxas saw palm trees begin to loom up, and the moment he touched down on the scraggly grass he dropped to a crouch and swept his leg out, knocking Riku's feet out from under him.

Riku hit with a heavy oof and rolled out of the way when Roxas pounced. When he turned to look, Riku flung a half-handful of sand into his face, and he flailed briefly, trying to blink his vision clear and stumbled into the trunk of a palm tree.

And before he could recover, Way to Dawn was at his throat and Riku was standing before him, looking down thoughtfully.

"So," he said. "You ready for talking now?"

Roxas bared his teeth and brought his knee up. Riku twisted away in time to catch the blow more in the thigh than the groin, but it was enough to make him blanch and stumble back, partly doubled over.

"Look," said Roxas. "Whatever you two -- you three -- have gotten into your heads, I'm fine. I --"

"Sure you're not," Riku drawled, in the tone that Roxas could remember from Sora's childhood, the one that had always been so good at getting under his skin. "That's why you're not sleeping and you randomly disappear -- with Sora, too -- and just --"

"Is that a crime?" Roxas demanded, slashing at Riku, who clumsily dodged. "I'm not allowed to want to get away? Maybe Sora likes spending all his time being stupid with the two of you, but I --"

"I didn't say that," Riku said, clashing with Oathkeeper, then spinning out of Oblivion's reach. "Just that you're acting weird --"

"I'm not Sora," Roxas growled. "You can't say I'm acting weird if I --"

Riku held up his lighter.

Roxas cut himself off.

"You dropped this," Riku said blandly. "When I challenged you."

"Give that back--"

Riku sidestepped his desperate grab, tall enough that when he lifted it over his head, Roxas would have to do some rather undignified jumping to even try to reach it. "Number Eight," he said, and flicked the lighter to life. "The Flurry of Dancing Flames. Ax--"

Roxas launched himself bodily at Riku, his shoulder connecting with Riku's solar plexus, so that the taller boy grunted and dropped the lighter as he shuffled back. Roxas dropped to his knees and grabbed the lighter again, scowling dangerously up at Riku through sanded bangs.

Through the pinched look of surprised pain, Riku's eyes were surprisingly sympathetic. It was close enough to pity that Roxas' hackles rose higher, and he hunched his shoulders defensively.

"Roxas," Riku said, breathless. "Listen, I --"

"If you touch this again," Roxas said, with the deepest sincerity, "I will kick your ass so hard that you'll never be able to move again."

The softer look didn't leave Riku's eyes, and Roxas eventually had to look away, uncomfortable with it -- not quite understanding, but so close to home that it burned. "All right," he said. "But Roxas --"

"He was a Nobody," Roxas muttered, turning his head aside. "He didn't even have a body to go back to, so -- he was just some idiot who never left me alone, and we --"

He heard Riku move, walking towards him, but it was still a shock when the other boy's arms came around him, broad and strong. Part of him leaned into them with the ease of familiarity but the rest recoiled because it wasn't right, it wasn't -- it --

"Hey," Riku said quietly. "Roxas. It's all right."

"I know that," Roxas growled, his voice rough. "I'm the one who keeps saying that, idiot. I'm fine, I --" To his mortification, his voice choked before he could finish, and his eyes were beginning to sting and blur. With a muttered curse he scrubbed at his eyes with one sandy hand, trying to squirm out out of the limited space of Riku's arms. "Let me go--"

"Sure," Riku said, though his hold didn't loosen. "Once Kairi gets here."

"I don't need--"

"You know," Riku went on, speaking over him, staring off at the sunny horizon, "when the King and I were trapped in the world of darkness, I was convinced I'd never see Sora or Kairi again."

"What do I care if you--"

"It was sort of like they were both dead to me," Riku went on. "Because I knew that no matter what I did, or how hard I looked, I'd never find them. We'd be separated forever."

"I--"

"And I don't know about you," Riku said, tipping his head up, "but when I thought that, man, I just wanted to give up. I wanted to just lie down there and let the Heartless tear me apart. But the King wouldn't let me.

"He said, 'Riku, as long as you're in their heart, and you're in theirs, then of course you'll meet again.'"

Roxas wiped his eyes again. "They weren't dead, though," he rasped. "They--"

"Being lost to the darkness is kind of like dying, if you ask me," Riku said. When Roxas tried to push back again, Riku's arms tightened, and Roxas thought he could probably break free with effort, though the effort didn't seem worth it. "And I mean, what's it that they say? Only those with a very strong heart can create a Nobody when they lose their heart."

"I--"

"And weirder things have happened whenever Sora's around." Riku leaned back enough to peer down into Roxas' face. "He doesn't give up on anything."

Roxas stared at him flatly. "Nobodies don't have hearts," he said. "Even Naminé and I, we --"

In the back of his head, Sora stirred. But, he pointed out, a bit tentatively, Axel felt that way about you.

He shook his head fiercely. "Shut up."

Riku lifted an eyebrow, but wisely said nothing. Roxas could picture Sora, looking so painfully, stupidly earnest that it made his teeth hurt, hands spread before him.

He said that to me, when he -- died, Sora added hesitantly. "He made me feel like I had a heart."

"But he didn't--"

"What's the difference," Riku cut in suddenly, "between having one and just believing you do? For something like a heart, maybe just believing you do is enough."

"That makes no sense, idiot," Roxas muttered. "Then the others--"

"We're not talking about the rest of the Organization," Riku said. "We're talking about Axel."

Roxas flinched again at the name. "Yes, but--"

"He felt like he had a heart because of you," Riku said. "Whether he did or not, he kept you there. And who's to say you two won't actually meet again?" He turned his head, and Roxas looked as well, watching as Kairi made her way towards them. "When you care about someone enough to miss them this much, I don't think there's any way you could avoid each other."

"Let's meet again in the next life," Sora quoted. That's kind of like a promise, isn't it?

Roxas said nothing, tipping his head up as Kairi stopped beside them, looking and seeing Naminé peering back at him for just a moment. She smiled tenatively and sat beside them, putting one arm behind Roxas' back and the other around Riku's shoulder, leaning her head towards them.

"You're all idiots," he muttered finally, roughly. "If he came back, what would you do? If he came back. He'd want. He'd be. You know ..."

"We'll figure something out," Kairi said gently. "We've always figured it out before." She squeezed his shoulder and looked up to smile again at him, stronger now. "So. Have faith in him, and in us, too."

Roxas could only meet her eyes for a few moments before he had to look away again, suddenly embarrassed. "Mnngh," he said, but didn't argue when Riku and Kairi closed around him again, holding him close.

+++

"Rosemary, to remember," says Naminé, her pale white hands moving slowly, weaving stems together. "Sweet pea, for tender memories and departures." She lifts the finished wreath and studies it, then purses her lips. "It's too late for snow drops, and those were expensive. But it will do."

"Um," he says, reaching up to touch one delicate petal with a fingertip. "What's this for?"

Naminé smiles briefly. "Another message," she says. "Maybe the picture wasn't enough."

"You don't really think--"

"I don't know," says Naminé. "I've learned that there's a lot that I don't know, about how the magic of the world really works. But maybe ..." She turns and looks sidelong at him. "Maybe Riku's right, and believing is enough."

Roxas opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again, taking the wreath from her and then flinging it out into the ocean, as hard as he can. He watches it flutter to the waves, watches as it gets tossed up and then away from sight. Then he takes a deep breath and cups his hands around his mouth.

"HURRY UP," he bellows, and listens to how his voice echoes back. His hands drop. "... Idiot."

Naminé's slips into his and squeezes. "Well," she says brightly, "that works too."

--end--

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Date: 2006-07-05 01:52 am (UTC)

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