This is about as close as I get to "candid"

[nekokoban]

Dear Starbucks, why must your peppermint bark brownies be so tasty! And expensive. :(
Secret: While I laugh at all the Starbucks jokes -- and living in Seattle, they're pretty damn copious -- I actually have yet to be disatisfied with any drink or food I've gotten there. And the people who work at the outlet next to my workplace are kind of super-awesome. I get compliments on my hair and smiley faces drawn on my drink cups and heckled for wanting bagels when there aren't any. They're nice. :x

However: I have been promised cookies on Monday. Soothe my heart with other baked goods, because I'm really easy that way.

Have been hacking away at the Yuletide story -- it's a lot of fun, but my mental image of myself after posting it is sort of like, I dunno, the bloody and beaten shounen hero staggering triumphantly in with an arm around a friend's shoulders because one's too tired to quite stand on one's own and being all "THUMBS UP, GUYS, THUMBS UP." I'm just a little worried that my recipient won't like it, because I just may shrivel up and fade away a little if that's the case. XD

Recently, I have been waffling between a) wanting more tactics fic, damnit D: and b) wanting fic about Griselda and her mother (Odin Sphere). I joke that Griselda's the only character in the game who totally had her shit together and NO ISSUES, and of course she dies in the very first scene. I blame "93 Maidens," which inarticulate pimped the other day; the majority of it isn't actually that fitting, but the parts that DO feel like they really do. I think part of me is vaguely disappointed that Griselda and Gwendolyn's mother is reduced only to two throwaway comments. I don't actually care so much about the other missing parents in the game -- but somehow I'm disappointed, in a way, that Ragnanival's Queen is never explained.

... I think my big problem right now is that I feel a little beside myself. I have a number of Big Projects inprogress that I have been throwing myself at with all the satisfaction of a kid who knows the ground'll catch her with minimum damage, but ... it's like I want to do more. :\ I want to write more! I want to write a lot more, but am feeling distinctly uncreative and uninspired.

I've got the energy, but neither the focus nor the drive -- nor, in fact, ANY IDEA WHATSOEVER OF WHAT I'M DOING -- to get anything done. I pick a little at this, I poke a little at that, and then the next thing I know, I'm playing Spider Solitaire and losing. It's a little distressing. :| That may be one of my only quibbles with tiny fandoms -- I love their smaller, "safer" feeling, and the fact that there are a handful where I can look at all the names and go "hey! I know you! you're on my flist!" but at the same time, there are times when I miss the heyday of, oh, YahooGroups and mailing lists and stuff. XD Not because I necessarily think it was better "back then," but because that was where I got my start, and it feels more interactive (in wistful rose-colored memory) than some of the communities I watch today.

Confession: I really wish I knew more people online. XD; Or I could interact with people more -- I have a problem with not being comfortable with spamming people with random things unless I know them, and that list is like ... five. At tops. I'm conditionally shy; I am super-loud and blunt and spammy if I know and am friends with someone; around people I don't know or barely know, I just sort of ... clam up and smile and nod a lot. Most of the time, I feel like I need to have something worth contributing before I plonk myself into someone's LJ thread(s) or whatever and start yammering.

On the flipside, I really wish people would do that to ME more often, because I really like talking to folks. Especially in tiny fandoms. T^Tb I, I'm not that boring, am I? Oh god, I hope not. XD;

What I need is a revolution, but this late in the year, where on EARTH am I gonna find one.

Comments

[vowel.livejournal.com]

Of course you're not boring~! >____<

I really wish I knew more people online. XD; Or I could interact with people more -- I have a problem with not being comfortable with spamming people with random things unless I know them, and that list is like ... five. At tops. I'm conditionally shy; I am super-loud and blunt and spammy if I know and am friends with someone; around people I don't know or barely know, I just sort of ... clam up and smile and nod a lot. Most of the time, I feel like I need to have something worth contributing before I plonk myself into someone's LJ thread(s) or whatever and start yammering.

Hah hah, that's just like me. I want to talk to people that I'm not familiar with, but I'm too afraid to seem too forward and rude. T----T And I'm so freaking shy, it's not even funny anymore. >____>

[nekokoban]

Me = boring was a completely viable option! Sometimes I just like to be assured that someone thinks otherwise. XD

I have the conditional shyness thing all the time; it's drastic enough that I can observe it in myself and wince -- if I run into a friend on the bus after having stilted conversation with this one guy who keeps talking to me, the difference in how I react is ... really obvious. And I feel bad, but if I don't know someone, I react very stiffly, as opposed to running into a friend, at whom I will be like ":DDDDDD! [pokepokepokepokepokepoke]"

Bah. XD

[yhibiki.livejournal.com]

HEY YOU CAN SPAM ME ANY DAY, BABY. :P

But, sadly, time differences would probably make it hard, and my internet doesn't like chat programs. However, GOOGLECHAT is okay! And so are e-mails. ^^ (my gmail username is ancestralmask )

Also, I like Starbucks. People can gripe and complain all they want, but Starbucks has good drinks and a good atmosphere. You wouldn't see me hanging out a Tim Hortons, that's for sure.

[nekokoban]

YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME♥ XD

I ... have actually never used googlechat! It's like this mysterious weird thing that Gmail tells me I have, but I know nothing about. XD I'm not even sure I'd be doing it right!

AND I ADMIT IT, I KIND OF LOVE STARBUCKS. XD I know, I know, one should support tiny local businesses and such, but -- well, for me, at least, Starbucks IS local, I like their food and drinks, and I approve of their policy of giving health insurance to part-timers! So. I don't feel so bad about giving them my money. :Db

[flamebyrd]

Confession: I really wish I knew more people online. XD; [...]

This describes me, too. >.> I know evidence points to the contrary, but...

Most of the time, I feel like I need to have something worth contributing before I plonk myself into someone's LJ thread(s)

Yesssss.

[nekokoban]

Half the time I'm convinced everyone feels like that, which means we're all just locked in this horrible cycle of "I really want to, but I'm afraid to." Then I see people who DO know lots of people (or it seems like they do?) and think no, maybe it's just me. XD

People are so weird, pssh. XD

[vaulted-eel.livejournal.com]

You know... I've never set foot inside a Starbucks! Granted, we didn't have one in town until just a little while ago, but still. Those brownies sound horribly good, though. :9

And I know what you mean about not being comfortable spamming with people unless you know them really well or have something specific to contribute. I feel kinda bad about it -- I've got so many people on my flist, but I only talk to a handful of them at best. I guess I feel like I'm imposing upon or annoying them if I talk too much. Kinda silly, huh?

[nekokoban]

That ... seems so strange to me, in a way. XD If I go down to, say, the University Village (twenty minute walk from where I live, tops), there's something like four Starbucks within the kinda-sorta shopping center area. XD (And the brownies are AWESOME. I am a hook-line-sinker sucker for peppermint, especially candy canes. T___Tb)

That's actually how it is for me, too! Sometimes I'm kind of amazed because -- I have a decently large flist! If I go a day or two without checking LJ, the backlog gets daunting! But I think I only regularly interact with a handful, not counting the RL friends who've got LJs (and I'm much more likely to call or email those folks rather than use LJ to communicate). I know theoretically if someone has a public journal -- or an flocked one that you're on the filter for -- they shouldn't actually MIND if I talk, but I clam up anyway.

I'M KIND OF LAME THAT WAY. :|b

[alessandriana.livejournal.com]

Peppermint bark brownies? Really? :O *ponders how to get down to Starbucks*

Feel free to spam* my lj whenever you like; I frequently find myself with nothing to do online and wanting someone to talk to, so.

*for certain values of spam that are not in fact actual spam, of course ;P

[nekokoban]

They are delicious. *__* I bought two today, because I'm going to be monstrously busy tomorrow and won't have time to drop by a Starbucks. ... which is super-ironic, given that there's at least one in walking distance of me, maybe two. Whut.

My workplace is pretty easygoing about internet use policies -- basically, we have to work more than we play, but I know most of the folks on my team leave Gmail and such open all day here in the office. It means a lot of my free time is spent refreshing LJ and being ":| but I have such a big flist, why am I so booooooooored."

I dunno, sometimes actual spam is pretty hilarious. I used to get a TON and it was HORRIFYING but also really funny.

[cinnamonblood.livejournal.com]

Peppermint bark brownies sound good. I don't think I've ever had them. What do they look like? Describe them. I bet I could make them! ♥

I like the coffee at Starbucks but I try not to go there too often. There's this tiny little coffee place down the street from my house and I'd rather give them my money. Their coffee is just as good, they're a little bit cheaper, the girls who work there are super nice, and they need the business more than Starbucks does. ^^;

[nekokoban]

Essentially, there's a layer of white chocolate "bark" on top of a fairly rich brownie, with a layer of candy canes ground up on top. It's so good; I can't resist every time I go. XD

No, I totally approve of going to tiny coffeshops, too! Local businesses are always the best to support, imo -- but for me, Starbucks actually IS local. XD My workplace is about two blocks from Starbucks Corporate and about fifteen minutes (by bus on a good day) from the very first one that ever opened. I feel somewhat justified. XD

[versine.livejournal.com]

HAY HAY I died a little of awesome when you friend'd me back, y'know. ): I can sort of remember how the conversation went an-- OH YEESS, I HAVE TO GET YOU TO READ DEMAIN SYNDROME ONE DAY, one day. penchant for obscure fandoms GET ♥

And boring, what the hell are you talkin' about. You're not boring at all! 8) Though I guess... I can relate that back to myself? AHA. Dull x infinitum, plus the social etiquette of a lobster.

[nekokoban]

What, I am so not awesome. At least not right now -- my awesomeness, like the tides of the ocean, comes and goes. XD

I PROMISE I WILL READ IT SOMEDAYYYYYY I want to, I just. Like I said, cannot focus on anything right now, except for the comforting repetitve mindlessness of Spider Solitaire. ._____.

But yay! I'm glad I'm not boring. This is actually something that terrifies me on a regular basis. 8Db Possibly a lot of people feel like this. I'm a bit relieved, in that "I'm glad I'm not alone in this!" sort of way.

[grendelity.livejournal.com]

You have my formal permission to spam me anytime. Our abusive relationship demands it. XD <3

[nekokoban]

Abuse means I love you! That's what they told me when I was a brand-new bittyfan. XD

I MAY JUST TAKE YOU UP ON THIS K. :|b

[effex]

I'm gonna take this opportunity to delurk and chime in with the me toos - I laugh every time the quiet-in-RL/bold-online archetype comes up, because it's not any easier on the internet.

Um. Also. I've been reading your work off and on, since, oh, your YYH crossovers - Tomodachi and the Death Arc and. I've always really enjoyed your work and it's about damn time I said hi. Hi!

[nekokoban]

SERIOUSLY! I mean, sure, maybe other people can pull it off! I am not "other people," and I worry just as much about talking to new people online as I do off. XD; I'm incredibly lame damnit.

Hi! ♥♥♥♥ ... holy crap, you're still reading me even after reading those ancient things, I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH YOU. Seriously. XDb

Yay new people♥ :D

[fadedfeathers.livejournal.com]

YOU CAN BOTHER ME-- IF YOU WANT TO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO. NO PRESSURE.

.....

I-I'm a shy-thing. BUT POKING IS EFFECTIVE.
_{T__T; It always takes a lot for me to comment on journals of people I would generally admire from afar. Writers, artists, blah blah blah....Even though we're working with you on a project. B-but. Still.}

[nekokoban]

AHAHAHAHAHA-- um. Is this where I confess I was worried that maybe you didn't like me that much, since I don't actually know how to contact you other than, like, harrassing your LJ? 8D I WORRY ABOUT THESE THINGS.

For the record, I am super hyper triple excited for this project. Like mad. :DDDDDDb

[chibimazoku.livejournal.com]

YOU KNOW I LOVE IT WHEN YOU BABBLE AT ME (... right? You know that, right?)

♥

[chibimazoku.livejournal.com]

--also if I can sit down and finish my Yuletide (WHICH I DID), you should have no trouble with it. GO GO GOOOOO.

[nekokoban]

I certainly hope you do, because otherwise, I have a looooot to apologize for. XD

♥♥

(Hopefully this weekend will see MASS FINISHING of the Yuletide! I know what I want to have happen, I just have to actually sit down and write it out. \o/)

[inarticulate.livejournal.com]

SPAM ME ANYTIEM~ ♥ th-though I may reply with RP journals orz I love my tiny fandoms a-and keep forgetting that YOU READ BLACK BUTLER NOW :DDDDDD and eeeeeeeeeee ♥

[nekokoban]

I have actually gotten used, when interacting with my CFUD friends, at seeing totally random new usernames pop up. XD It's like a game! WHO ARE YOU TODAY?

My tiny fandoms are so awesome, but they also make me said, because eight times out of ten, I can't figure out why they're tiny fandoms and not beloved by all. :( I'm three episodes away from the end of Heat Guy J and was like O SNAP I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING. BUT I DID NOT.

Black Butler is also awesome, and I am waiting for v3 to come out soonest. :|b I just talk about HGJ in my LJ more because I talk to grendelity in AIM and she encourages me by drawing stuff when I say things. 8D