nekokoban

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh weekends, why are you so short! [rolls around]

So I have a monstrous sore throat and the general blahs, which I attribute to the weather being as craptastic as it is. I do, however, also have one coworker (JS) who is ... let's say that he's extraordinarily negative. At one point, another coworker (JP) was having jaw problems, and JS asked him that, if there was no way around the pain and if it continued to be chronic, would JP kill himself. To stop the pain in his jaw.

I. I don't think this is okay?! And I have pointed this out to him numerous times--but. I think JS is just kind of gleeful in his overtly negative attitude towards everything; today, I have been coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose a lot, and even though I said, "it's probably just the weather," he proceeds to ask me if I think it's toxic mold. And when I stare at him, just kind of "..." he goes on to try and explain it to me and I'm like. No. No. It's not always the worst-case scenario, JS. Sometimes it is! But sometimes it isn't! Imagine! \o/

... that's a tangent.

So, thanks to jeva_chan and being a terrible person over the weekend--which has put me in the right mindset!--I have been listening to "Hitobashira Alice" pretty much nonstop, and I keep thinking this would make an awesome story. Or a game. It's one of those things I will file away along with the hyakumonogatari kaidan game, but I think it could be kind of amazing. Create Wonderland, but realize it will be a direct reflection of your actions. Ahhhh, I want to be cool enough to pull this off. ;^; The thing I have discovered about myself is that tabletop games are entertaining and all, but every time I have tried playing, I find that ... I keep thinking about what it'd be like to GM, instead! But having not really played, and not being familiar with any systems, this is kind of a problem. :'( But if there is one thing I have learned, playing at CFUD and running traumaposts, is that I. Really really like throwing things at people and watching them flip out and try to react. Is this so bad! The weekend was amazing for me in that aspect. :x

Sob. O-oh well.

BACK TO WORK.

I just worked on a site for "Rooster Bush." And when I realized this, I stopped and stared at my screen for a good full minute.

...

So in other news, I'm still laughing about this, too. Just like the internet is a series of tubes, my life is a series of inadvertantly funny things. I'm also still a bit annoyed that none of the MAIN CHARACTERS CASTED are Asian, but. ... honestly, I'm not planning on seeing this movie anyway so.

I could be really depressing and doom and gloom about certain things (which basically you'd only know about if you know me irl and have heard me bring it up/are my roommate and listened to me spazz on the phone at my parents for the better part of an hour, hahaha. I COULD. But Doom hasn't happened yet, I have alternatives I can look into ... and really, I'm okay. I am also just a worrier with a tendency towards the paranoid who bottles it in -- I AM TRYING TO BE BETTER ABOUT THAT. HENCE THE CALL TO MY PARENTS. (Sometimes I worry that my mom misses me more than she says, because she gets very :( if we don't talk at least twice a week, even if it's only five minutes where I confirm that I am still, in fact, alive, but at the same time she is apparently making friends with ladies in the neighborhood! THEY HAVE A GARDENING CLUB GUYS, i-it's so cute. She was bragging about her lettuces and her lemons and telling me how she gave them to people and got stuff back and. ♥)

Instead I will note (in a kind of orz what) way about how my recent back problems have taken what should be a ten-minute walk to something like twenty, and that's just sad. It's less my back now and more my hips, which I had been warned about, but sheesh. I am entirely too young to be this old. :'( I bought one of those back pillow thingits at Walgreens the other day, and it seems to be helping! Especially when I lean back. I think this office chair was designed for someone taller, because it leans back a lot farther than I like and if I sit properly for back posture my toes pretty much just touch the ground.

Or I could gripe about how the (writing) force is still not with me, and this grieves me terrible. :\ I KEEP TRYING. I KEEP ... NOT MAKING IT. I have a word document that's full of linebreaks and two-line stand-alone paragraphs that make very little sense. I have fantastic images but nothing that connects them together. It saddens me. I DID MANAGE TO FINISH A STORY FOR imaginarybeasts and I signed up for Yuletide s-so I am taking some heart from that.

... I should write my Yuletide author letter ... I'll do that this weekend.

Also, I like this song more than I really should. It's all -- not really my normal thing (I heard it described as militant-sounding? it fits), but it's been stuck in my head for going on two weeks now, so hopefully someone else will share my pain.

Uhhhh, what else. Man, why am I so boring. I guess if anyone wants me to love on them, they should comment on this post! And because I'm bad at keeping up with this meme on my flist, you can tell me if you love me, too.

OR DON'T LOVE ME, IN INTEREST OF ALL FAIRNESS man, I give up on interesting, I'm going and getting lunch.

* Sob, I think it's official that I have to start taking the earlier bus in the morning. During the summer, when I first started my 8:30-5 schedule, the buses ran pretty much on time: I could catch the 22, and if not, the 56 would be along about ten minutes later. Only, pretty much since the September shakeup, the bus has been coming consistently twenty minutes later, which is ... the difference between me being early/on-time and being late. I HAVE PERSISTED FOR ABOUT A MONTH, hoping against hope--! But no. I have admitted defeat. :( N-now I just need to figure out what my new wakeup time is, to accomodate this. Sob!

* Writing mojo continues to putter at middling-low, and this frustrates me. :( I really, really, really want to, but it's ... somehow not happening, and what I do write feels kind of flat and blech and not anything I'd be remotely satisfied with. IT SUCKS BECAUSE I WANT TO DO THOSE MATHOMS AND THE SONG PROMPTS AND MY OWN LACK OF AWESOME IS HOLDING ME BACK. 8( P-please bear with me, I may try start trying writing exercises and subject this livejournal to them. Stay tuned! Sob my writing mojo, sob.

* Some people know what this about; others do not. That's okay! The point is -- one of the things I think I have gotten better at, over the years, is having more confidence in myself. I can coast a lot better over unpleasant things than I did even just a year ago -- I think working/being completely independant from my parents (phonecalls and Mom spontaneously buying me cookware aside) helped with that. I don't have many real-life worries: I like my job, I am debt-free and can pay my bills and still have money to do fun stuff, I have a good strong circle of friends I see on a regular basis just for hanging out or doing stuff, I am healthy and I love the city I live in. My life is good.

But there ... are some things I still have a lot of problems with! I do not have as thick of a skin as I sometimes think I do, or say I do. Like probably over half the people out there reading this, I was pretty outcast/teased/otherwise shunned as a kid; I was the target of playground bullies and the "mean girls" and what-have-you. I've been lucky, though, because I've always had an awesome support group of friends, but -- I still sometimes take things to heart much more than I should, or let stuff bother me longer than I should. I am very good at objectively understanding when I shouldn't let something get to me, but very bad at ... doing that. XD

WHAT THIS BOILS DOWN TO: I am a ridiculously available person; the computer is my hobby when I'm at home, and at work I also (obviously) have fairly free internet access. I am flakey and forgetful -- and I have issues with bothering/annoying people, which is why I very rarely will initiate online contact, unless I am super-super-SUPER comfortable with you (and there's like ... maybe four people that way, total -- we're not counting any of the Seattle or Austin people, here). But. I am here if people need/want to talk to me -- if you have a problem with me or what I am doing, please tell me. I have never made a secret of my email address, my regular journal, or anything else. I'm never on AIM any more (mostly because I have a hard time juggling it on top of all the multitasking I do, sob ;o;), but I. I try to be frank and forward and say if something is bothering me -- it might take me a bit to work myself up to it, but I do. And I'd like it if others could do the same to me. I-it might not be something that CAN be compromised! But at least I can be aware of it and try to curb it for your comfort around you. :|b

I'm not sure how many times I CAN say it, but I have, and that helps me feel better. Also, the amazing awesome people who have put up with my amazing neurosis over the weeks/months/years, I will never be able to be grateful enough for you guys. >:

* Olive oil and rosemary bread is one of the food of the GODS. And makes a really awesome base for pizzatoast.

* This is my new favorite lunchtime reading. I am so trying stuff from there in the future.

* I have watched all of Tengen Toppa Guren Lagann as of Sunday. (I know, I know, late, but I am terrible at keeping up with any sort of weekly thing; that's why I buy volumes of manga, rather than keep up with chapter releases unless I'm reminded.) I have heard critiques of it, from people whose opinions I respect and normally agree with it, but -- for me, wow, that was a pretty amazing ride. XD It was so incredibly, unashamedly over the top, I couldn't help but love it a lot. There are times when I am ridiculously easy. |D

* Other than the issue(s?) mentioned above, I am pretty damn fantastic. And I hope everyone else is, too. \o/

Free Grill or Shotgun with the purchase of a new Sierra or Yukon.

WAT

(I'm not even making this up. Someone has this advertisement on their website.)

All I really can do is just -- laugh. And laugh. And maybe laugh some more. Because that is pretty amazing, you have to admit.

PS GO GIVE ME MORE PROMPTS.

This is a fairly accurate representation of how I greet people.

Except sometimes my sweater is brown instead of black, and I have my hair down. I like how in at least two of the pictures that ratzeo took, it looks like I'm facepalming in the thumbnails.

Hi guys. I know I promise lots of things, but someday, I will have interesting content again. Bear with me. :(

So apparently it's like, "BEAT STRESS!1!" month at work, in that we're getting this little posters and contests and what to prove how UNSTRESSED you are.

Which is awesome solely because one of their tips is "get 6-8 hours of sleep a night."

And I totally get six hours. Sometimes? I even get six and a half. Beat THAT. All of you people who yell at me for my sleeping habits can yell no more! I am within what I require to beat stress! \o/

Sob, can you tell I'm incredibly scatterbrained and flighty today, and am having trouble focusing on. ... anything, really ...



CFUD goes here.

Oh, Mondays, and your quintissential ... Monday-ness. People will be proud to know that I did not, in fact, fall all the way down the stairs this morning -- I tripped and stumbled and nearly dropped my bagel -- but then I rescued it! It was very dramatic and the only casualty was my pride.

Weekend was a mix of anxiety and zennnnnnnn; we kicked things off by going to see the new Batman movie on Friday (I ... will possibly post on it later, though suffice to say I felt it was a very good movie and a well-executed one, but it was also something I don't really want to see again |D), hanging out with people all Saturday, finishing up New Who season 3 Sunday (I hadn't realized how much they use the Gallifrey theme in the last three episodes until this rewatch, at which point I kind of internally went ;; a lot, because that is probably my favorite of all the OST pieces for all four seasons thus far), and a lot of eating out.

... oh, and anenduringoath at CFUD get. |D I HAVE AN AMAZING STORY ABOUT IT that basically involves covert topping me into topping myself, which really is the way to go about it. :( Guys, guys, what am I doiiiiiiing if I'm doing it wrong HIT ME REALLY HARD also eff to you all, I'm not cute. :(

Now it is Monday and I am at work, which is thankfully mellow at the moment. Brainpower is at a minimum, incoherency at maximum, and it is a gorgeously sunny day.

Now I'mma go respond to comments, because people are very kind to me and I love them lots. :(b

Before we get started: happy birthday, miss_arel! Roommate-thingit is now officially 21, so when she gets home, we're going to do the Responsible Friends Thing, and take her to a pub and buy her alcohol. *g*

So for a variety of reasons (some legitimate, some not-so), I have been ... vaguely blah and meh and grumpy. On the other hand, I am also on the upward swing of my hormonal cycle, which means that my mood has a 99% chance of improving within the next week. TO ENCOURAGE THIS, I am going to talk about fun things! Fandom things! Because I haven't in a while. \O

Like, for example, I got an email from Kinokuniya saying that my order had come in! ... but it didn't say what my order was, so I was confused. The only thing I'd ordered recently was Pandora Hearts v5 -- last Sunday, in fact. But Kinokuniya is never that fast; it's been less than a week! Maybe it was something else I'd forgotten! So today after work, I decided to take a brief detour and check it out.

Turns out, it WAS Pandora Hearts 5! \O/ THE ONLY COPY IN THE STORE BUT HEY. I've already read the chapters themselves, but I have an easier time reading with a solid hard copy, so I picked up a few things that I'd missed with the scans. There was also:

- The gag cover is basically a mock-tabloid, including Gil's recipie corner, Break's shameful~ affair~ with Cheshire, and Sharon using Emily as a voodoo doll.
- Vincent is incredibly pretty in-color. The color splash just emphasizes this.
- So is Alice, for that matter. And Cheshire is adorable. :(
- The omake for this volume are all connected in a series about Gil growing up~ including Vincent being a better shot than he is, Gil making fun of Break's face, and Break teaching Gil to use "ore" instead of "boku." ("Boku wa! Kyou kara 'ore' ni narimasu!!!") It includes a training montage of them running on a beach.
- The Special Thanks page has the cutest picture of Alice ever. Ever. :(

They also, for the first time since I started looking, had Amatsuki in stock! I DIDN'T HAVE TO SPECIAL-ORDER AFTER ALL. /O/ I think v7 is still a little too new for them to have, but hey, now I have 1-6! I can read it without the translations that honestly at times confused me. |D (Not to disparage on the translators, but once again, it's a whole "I read things so much better if I have the actual book.)

I also broke down and bought the first four volumes of Monochrome Factor. THE ANIME MADE ME GIGGLE SO MANY TIMES I HAD TO ACTUALLY PAUSE TO RECOVER. For the record, the manga is a lot better in sheer terms of making sense without the senseless fanservice, but hey. Sometimes, I'm a shallow fangirl, and I like the senseless fanservice. :(b

- I like Kengo. Why is he so stupid and cute. :( He's never going to win, but socute.
- I like Shirogane. When did I start liking politely-speaking vaguely rapist-types? Th-this is very strange and unusual for me. Does this mean I have to start liking Akabane more, now?
- So I like Shirogane/Akira a lot more after the [SPOILER] about Akira. Sigh, what is this new trend.
- The lack of noses in a lot of panels, however, is strange to me. It's a matter of getting used to the artstyle, but. I keep noticing the lack of noses unless people are in profile.
- Sorano is cute, making the tiny clay figures of his characters.

SO HOW 'BOUT THEM TSUBASA SPOILERS. I LAUGHED. DID YOU?

Someday, someday, I will have fic again. orz

Ever had one of those mornings (or afternoons, such as it may be) where you wake up after like five-six hours of sleep tops and feel fairly good even so (despite a sore throat, *&#(#&)*$#KDJFL weather changes >P) and you just want to write random porn?

...

... or maybe that's just me ...

...

SOMEONE GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WRITE, I AM FEELING IT BUT AM TOO [INSERT ADJECTIVE HERE] TO THINK. :(