nekokoban

Nnnnnot my best month ever. AND IT'S BARELY BEGUN, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT.

LONG STORY SHORT: on Friday, it was publically announced that the company I work for (previously privately-owned) was sold! Business will continue as usual for the next month or so, while the deal is officially closed, and THEN MAYBE WE WILL FIND OUT THE STATE OF THINGS! My parents have been exactingly practical about it, which is stuff I needed to hear, but do not really help with the worry. I know, there's not much I can do, even if I'm panicking, and mostly I am doing all right with that, but ugh. EASIER SAID THAN DONE! And my first mortgage paymet is due next month, l-lol, so I am possibly panicking juuuust the tiniest bit. It's a very contained sort of panic, that involves zoning out and obsessively keeping tabs on the amounts in my accounts and juggling to the largest interest rate. On top of that, my cat has been doing some worrisome things that I need to keep an eye on and have my fingers crossed that things were just a fluke, and that he's not actually sick.

I suspect this is why I am feeling vaguely sick this week, but WHO KNOWS. Maybe it's just a summer cold, lol.

This has also sort of colored ... everything I've been doing/thinking/whatever so I'm just feeling super worn-down and sad about a lot of things. It's one of those days (weeks? something?) where you just want to go to the most public forum you can and say EVERYONE PLEASE LIKE ME, I AM HAVING A BAD DAY!--only I'm not sure how deserved everyone liking me is, right now. *wg* MY PERSPECTIVE IS SKEWED. Also I usually try to reserve actual outright attention whoring for my birthday, because then I feel less guilty about it. It's a lot of little things that have sort of come together and one-two-three'd me, so I feel sort of like a bad friend, an uninteresting person, insert negative thing here.

AND IN A WAY I GUESS I AM ATTENTION WHORING RIGHT NOW! But you can tell me the bad as well as the good; I've sort of hit the zen threshhold of bad feelings, so at least I am at a starting point to try fixing things. *g* Or just talk to me about things. TELL ME ABOUT A NEW FANDOM YOU LOVE, a book you've read, talk to me about something I've talked about before! Give me something to focus on so I don't sit around being 8( and maybe I will actually EAT THE DELICIOUS FOOD I BOUGHT.*

The one major upside is that IF THINGS GO WELL, in six months, I will have the best commute in the history of ever--fifteen minutes tops, and that's when I'm weighed down by heavy grocery bags. I timed it. Kya kya etc.